Caitlin Hayes has opened up about the difficulties she endured last winter after leaving her beloved Celtic to join Brighton and Hove Albion.
The Republic of Ireland centre-back moved to the south coast of England back in January, having spent four and a half years in Glasgow. It was a painful departure, Hayes dropping out of the Hoops team in the final weeks of her time there amid rumours of a fallout with head coach Elena Sadiku - rumours Sadiku denied.
Hayes had been a mainstay in the Irish defence under Eileen Gleeson having declared for the country of her grandfather's birth in September 2023. She went straight into the team for the Nations League win against Northern Ireland at the Aviva Stadium.
However a tricky bedding in period at the Seagulls led to Hayes being overlooked by Gleeson's successor, Carla Ward, who didn't start the 30-year-old until Ireland's last game of the Nations League campaign, a 1-0 win against Slovenia at Páirc Uí Chaoimh.
Now much more settled at Brighton, Hayes is in a better place.
She'll almost certainly start against Belgium at the Aviva on Friday in the first leg of the Nations League promotion/relegation play-off, with Anna Patten suspended, and admits it's taken time to really process leaving Celtic.
"I probably wouldn't ever encourage anyone to move in January, purely through what I felt was just a massive change," said the 30-year-old.
"I'd built a home and my love for Celtic was displayed in many ways. So to leave that was very challenging. And then to pick a club that couldn't be further away and rebuild, not just on the pitch with new team-mates, but to also rebuild a life outside of football obviously had its challenges.
"But yeah, definitely finding my feet, definitely finding a community to be a part of. I love playing under (Brighton boss) Dario (Vidosic) and learning from him each week. So, yeah, I'm enjoying it. Took its time, but all good things are worth waiting for."
There is no bitterness towards Celtic; rather an enduring affection for the club Hayes grew up supporting.
"It would take radical circumstances for my love to be diminished for Celtic. It's the club I was brought up on. It's the club I was brought up to love.
"And a lot of what they stand for is what I stand for too. So, yeah, I just honestly have nothing but overwhelming gratitude and love for that club. I wish them all the best. And who knows what could be one day?"
Hayes took a holistic approach to her early struggles at Brighton. She'd write notes in her phone before training, little messages of motivation that would serve as benchmarks.
"Now before every training session, I say 'you're going to be great today' and then it stays in there if I was great and it gets deleted if I wasn't," she added.
"So it's just a way to keep myself accountable, to keep myself going and obviously to try and keep my standards as high as I possibly can.
"I think there's no better honesty than that of your own. And I think sometimes it's very difficult to be in a game full of opinions, but ultimately if you're happy with how you're doing, then that's all that matters.
"I definitely struggled. I was in no position to play. I wasn't the best version of myself. I probably put too much pressure on myself with demands to be at a certain level and ultimately I'm a big believer in the player can't perform if the person's not happy."
Having made her debut at Lansdowne Road, Hayes returns to the venue for the visit of the Belgians.
Ticket sales have been slow; about 15,000 were gone on Monday, but there's no doubt in Hayes' mind that the Girls in Green need to be playing on the biggest platform possible.
"I've been asked several times, should we be playing at Tallaght in previous interviews. And the answer, in my opinion, is absolutely not. There's a lot of girls that aspire to be where we are.
"So why not give them that dream of playing at the Aviva where they can see what they can be, and if they work hard and dream big, then they can also have that?
"I don't see any greater opportunity than to be representing Ireland on that stage. The empty seats I only see as an endless possibility of getting even more people in there."
Watch Republic of Ireland v Belgium in the UEFA Women's Nations League play-offs on Friday from 6.30pm on RTÉ2 and RTÉ Player. Follow a live blog on the RTÉ News App and on rte.ie/sport. Listen to live radio commentary on an extended Game On with 2fm.
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