The great secret of life is to find out who you are. We are all well-versed in who we think we are and what we think we want to be, but to truly find the person that lies within is the simple reason that we exist - despite all the illusions and attractions of fame and fortune.
There are many methods one can use in the search for what lies inside. My search has been essentially, but far from completely, founded on sport. In this, I accept I have been fortunate because many have had to discover the reason for life’s challenges through genuine hardship and difficulty. However, sport is quite capable of producing its own bed of coals to test the staying power of its participants.
In the beginning sport is all about adventure and excitement. As a youngster the imagination is encouraged to operate at full speed, surmounting any obstacle through the magical world of expectancy. Unfortunately we lose touch with this dynamic rather quickly. How does this happen?
Initially, circumstances encourage us to consider at a certain time in our development that we may not be as good in our sport as we first thought we were. The realisation that some colleagues display qualities we cannot, allied to the seemingly accidental discovery of tempting counter-attractions dilutes greatly the keen sense of expectancy once so important.
For those who found that they were part of the select group that did display better than average talent, the initial excitement lasted a while longer.
Whilst one’s friends were finding their thrills in other areas of life the talented individual stayed focused on the original provider of excitement. The difficulty was that the sense of adventure now carried with it a responsibility and as a consequence the individual was introduced to pressure.
I was again fortunate here in that I was a late developer. Like all my brothers, I was quite small right up to my 16th year and while my ability had gained a certain amount of respect it paled by comparison to the others. At Under-14 I was relegated to the B team and ironically enough to facilitate this I had to step up a year to the Under-15’s.
My lack of inches and pounds dictated that I perform against boys with even more inches and pounds and it was to a great extent the makings of me.
In the beginning it was tough. At times I was afraid. We once played out in the then wilds of Ballyfermot in the FAI Schoolboy Cup and the opposition played a few ‘bangers’ (overage players).
The fellow marking me had a heavier moustache than my Da did. It was one tough Sunday morning but it - and that season - served me well.
I learned the art of anticipation and began to understand the joy, and the safety, associated with one touch football. My lack of stature forced me to confront my inadequacies at quite an early age. I began to realise that walking onto a football pitch opened up the best part of the person I was.
With the physical fear gone and the inches and pounds arriving, I gained confidence and conviction in myself, so much so that I joined Shamrock Rovers, the best of the best. There I became acquainted with another fear, a far greater fear - the fear of failure.
I walked into the most star-studded dressing room in the country and within a very short period of time I realised that the opportunity for success was fully matched, if not overshadowed, by the serious possibilities for failure.
The excitement and expectation of youth dissipated somewhat, tempered as it was with the sudden and harsh reality of professional football.
The manager Liam Touhy made me aware of the player he wanted me to be. I trusted him as much as I did my Dad who had always made me aware of who I had to become and of course there were my own individual beliefs. However, irrespective of the world or the business you operate in, ability only gets you so far.
Indeed, it is my contention that ability merely grants opportunity and there is something else, something of far greater significance than mere ability, which decides whether you become a success or a statistic. That something is you. But it is a different you.
This is not the ‘you’ that you present to the outer world. Or the ‘you’ that the fans cheer or jeer depending on what is happening on the park. No, this is the inner ‘you’ that handles the dreams, doubts and fears that are an inherent aspect of each one of us. Of course these testing emotions are present in all aspects of life.
Nobody sails through life, not any more. It would be a contradiction of what modern life is really about; we are living through a time of colossal change. And while we all have to be part of that change, the one thing that must remain constant is the belief and trust we have in ourselves as individuals.
