Last weekend the AIL final was decided between Cork Con and Clontarf. My first win in four attempts at the Aviva but it had to be as a coach and not as a player.
I played in the opening game at the Aviva, between the combined provinces but we got hammered 68-0. The Leinster/Ulster team had future internationals throughout with Marty Moore, Iain Henderson, Paddy Jackson, Luke Marshall and Craig Gilroy.
A great day out but a terrible result.
One of my most memorable days in a red jersey was in a loss against Leinster, 16-13. Another tough day for us but putting myself up against the current world player of the year was an experience I’d never forget.
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Last year we lost to Scott Deasy’s Lansdowne in an AIL final that we did well to get to with a late surge in form and momentum but it wasn’t enough. We didn’t spend enough time playing our best rugby that year. This season was different.
We had a dominant year and played great rugby from start to finish and controlled the league for long parts of the season but the Dublin teams never let you run away with the idea that you could be the best in the country. They always set a high standard that you have to overcome if you want to call yourself the best in Ireland and I can finally say I was part of that.
Some of our players already have AIL medals from two years ago but I wasn’t involved then and I didn’t get to contest an AIL final as a player either. It's a long year of commitment and hard work for players, coaches and everyone else in the club. A lot of effort goes into a year like that and to see it all culminate in victory is very satisfying.
I’m not coaching anywhere near as long as the other coaches, Brian Hickey, Paul Barr and Paul McCarthy and maybe it’s because in the back of my mind I’d still like to be the player involved in lifting that cup but winning as a coach doesn’t seem to have the same response as winning as a player.
It’s almost like a relief and a satisfaction that there was a good job done and you know you’ve contributed to the final victory but you can’t replace winning on the pitch.
I felt I didn’t want to celebrate too much because coaches just advise players, we can’t actually kick points or direct the team around the pitch. Coaching to me feels a bit more indirect, you have to give the players the tools and insights that are needed to win the game but you have to trust that they will go on to achieve it themselves.
Perhaps there’s a slight fear in the back of my mind as well. Players can live in the present and enjoy what’s going on in front of them but in my experience as a coach you are always looking at the next game or at least trying not to lose sight of what is coming down the line.
There was a strong voice in my head saying don’t celebrate externally. Go over and shake hands respectfully without giving the opposition any extra motivation to want to beat you next year.
What a terrible emotion to be feeling after winning in the top division of amateur rugby.
I’m well aware of living in the present and trying to enjoy what is happening, especially because you don’t know if it will happen again but translating that into reality is harder than I thought.
Coaches have to keep their composure and set a good example, if you lose that respect you could lose the group going forward. It has happened to other coaches that I know of and I don’t plan on that happening any time soon.
I’d love to get an insight into other coaches and how they deal with the success that they perceived to be the end goal. Will Leo Cullen enjoy the Champions Cup this weekend should his team manage to get their fifth star or is there still a slightly empty feeling?
Is it more of a relief than a celebration? Maybe as you win more and become more experienced you learn to manage that emotion as well. I always questioned how Declan Kidney gave the players all the glory when he clearly played a big part in the success of Munster and Ireland but it’s starting to make more sense now that I’m in a coaching role.
It is all about the players. Good coaches can become great coaches with the right group of players, players who make big plays in big moments and turn the game in favour of their team. Rarely is it something that was planned and executed to perfection.
It takes a big try-saving effort from Rob Jermyn or an outstretched limb of Duncan Williams to get you over the line. The coach has more of an input into how the team is managed throughout the year and how the group reacts to certain challenges that create a culture that the team lives by.
There are big calls in terms of selection (something that I’m happy to park for the next couple of months!), changes to be made on the day, some technical points on how we can improve but you have to trust others to carry out that instruction.
For now I’m happy to be fighting with this inner chimp on how I should react to winning and what I should really be feeling during the celebrations instead of dissecting why we lost and examining the result for different reasons.
Winning is definitely a better feeling that losing but not as straight-forward as I thought. What’s next? How do we back this up? Will it be a failure if we don’t? Time will tell but satisfaction and relief definitely trump frustration and disappointment
