Cheltenham Gold Cup-winning rider Bryan Cooper appeared on The Late Late Show on Friday night to reflect on a career of wildly oscillating fortunes and revealed the mental anguish that prompted his retirement from the saddle at the age of 30.
Last month's announcement came in the wake of the Cheltenham Festival, where Cooper opted not to partner his intended mounts on the second day of action in the Cotswolds.
"My alarm went off at half seven and I said I can't do this any more," the Kerry native told host Ryan Tubridy.
"I panicked and I texted the head girl who works for [trainer] Noel Meade and said my ribs are sore and said I won't be there to ride out."
Cooper had experienced a mounting sense of foreboding as the Festival loomed and he admitted: "For weeks up to Cheltenham everyone should be excited for it, but I was looking forward to the flight home and getting out of there, and getting home and not having to deal with it."
Returning to that Wednesday morning in Cheltenham, Cooper had turned his phone off as he was overwhelmed by a maelstrom of emotions.
"It was silly the way I did it, but it was just panic stations," he said.
"I had half an hour and my sister arrived up to the room - she was staying in the house - and she tore me in two.
"She was like, 'what are you playing at, dad is here, Noel Meade is ringing looking for you, what's going on?'
"I sat up in the bed and I just broke into tears and I said 'Sarah, I can't do this anymore, I'm finished, this is it'."
Cooper wasn't for turning and the next step was to contact Meade and his father Tom, who was set to send out a rare runner of his own at the Festival.
"I rang my agent and said it to him. He said there are two people you have to ring here - you ring your dad and you ring Noel Meade and leave me to deal with the rest.
"And after ringing Noel Meade and hanging up five times working up the courage to tell him - I was disappointed because I felt I had let them down, this was the Olympics and I'd left them down on the biggest stage - but as soon as I made those two phone calls, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. They were so supportive."
While falls and broken bones are an occupational hazard for National Hunt riders, Cooper was unluckier than most.
A former champion conditional rider, he suffered some terrible injuries, most notably breaking his leg in a fall from Clarcam in the 2014 Fred Winter Juvenile Handicap Hurdle - an issue which kept him on the sidelines for seven months.
His career highlight came when partnering the Gordon Elliott-trained Don Cossack to a four-and-a-half-length success at Prestbury Park in 2016.
He bows out with a clutch of Grade One victories to his credit, and nine Cheltenham Festival victories overall.
Our Conor was another Cheltenham winner for Cooper, landing the 2013 Triumph Hurdle in effortless style, while Don Poli, Apple's Jade and Road To Respect were other key horses in his career.
The last-named trio were all owned by Gigginstown House Stud, for whom Cooper was retained rider for three years between 2014 and 2017.
