2022 was the year of the LIV bother. It's shaping up that 2023 will be as well.
Notwithstanding the branch of Hooters nearby, Augusta National is typically regarded as a place of genteel civility and opulence. John Daly, needless to say, is the star attraction again this year and is now close to being the establishment's chief mascot, rivalling the waitresses in the famous orange shorts.
Catch a glimpse of those fairways, of Rae's Creek, and the honeyed tones of Jim Nantz spring to mind. Jim has been good friends with every chairman of Augusta National in our lifetimes, thankfully. Never once has the club's head honcho turned towards Jim in the butler cabin and informed the new champion with a snort that here's a hired hand from CBS to ask you some inoffensive, asinine questions.
That would make for an awkward butler cabin scene. The most awkward presentation thus far was probably after Hideki Matsuyama's landmark win in 2021, for no other reason than Hideki hadn't the first notion of what was being said by the two American men seated opposite.
We might witness an even more awkward butler cabin scene this year if one of the LIV boys - aka the Saudi golf league outcasts, aka Greg Norman's rebel alliance - deliver the goods down the stretch on Sunday.
Norman retains an enviable confidence for a man best remembered for blowing an implausible number of major championships at the peak of his career. The three-time runner up has not been invited to Augusta this year - "so petty" - but he's been characteristically loud in the media all week, as befitting his role as the game's great disruptor.
His lot have been threatening to bring a touch of Ryder Cup style anarchy to proceedings this weekend.
Perhaps, if things got properly spicy, we could see a 'Brookline '99' type green invasion should one of their standard bearers sink the winning putt on the 72nd. If they were to trample across, say, a vanquished Rory McIlroy's line in the process, all the better...
"I'm telling you, they're not going there as individuals, but as a team, backing each other, supporting and rooting for each other," Norman told the Telegraph.
"They've said that if one of them wins, then the other 17 will hang around and be there to congratulate him around the 18th green. Could you imagine what a scene that would be, all these players hugging the winner.
"They are all going to be there, and that just gives me goosebumps to think about."
Though reigning Open champion and most surprising LIV recruit Cameron Smith professed to know nothing about the green invasion plans, a rejuvenated Brooks Koepka backed up his commissioner.
"When you look at it, if one of the guys does win, I would be shocked if all of us aren't there to celebrate," Koepka said.
Despite early speculation, the majors have not moved to ban LIV players from competing, though the refusal to award world ranking points to the breakaway tour's events - the current frontier in the battle - will result in their guys being marginalised over time, barring a change in policy.
Given that the rival camps are forced to share fairways this week, there have been some diplomatic noises, including from some of the chief agitators.
Masters' darling and PGA stalwart Freddie Couples paid tribute to the Saudi's abundant generosity last year, noting "If you're giving Phil Mickelson $200million at age 52 to shoot 74 and 75, God bless you."
He proceeded to label Mickelson a "nutbag" and Garcia a "clown". These comments would appear hard to walk back but Couples is serenely confident he will be able to do so.
"Tomorrow night will be a great dinner, a lot of fun," the 1992 champion insisted this week. "People have asked me if I'm going to be paired (with LIV players). I would love to be paired with Phil."
There are conflicting reports elsewhere. Koepka is adamant that "we all get along" and Smith said there are "smiles and hugs" between players from rival tours on the practice range.
Joaquin Niemann, on the other hand, said recently in an interview in Golf.com that "it's going to be more fun for us knowing that they hate us, going to the majors and beating them".
Which of their guys could win?
Those who haven't paid attention to the happenings on the LIV Tour - which is about 98% of people - may be surprised to learn that Koepka himself has enjoyed a return to form lately, after his intimately documented crisis of confidence last year.
Koepka won his first LIV golf event in Jeddah last October before making "history" with a victory in Orlando last week, becoming the first player to win two titles on the breakaway tour.
After the Orlando win, Koepka sounded a bullish note for a change, saying "You look at everything I've been through, I'm finally healthy... I get chills thinking what I'm capable of."
Prior to the win in Orlando, Alan Shipnuk's Fire Pit Collective website reported that Koepka was experiencing some remorse over his decision to jump ship to LIV. This was furiously denied, most notably by Greg Norman Jr, who labelled the reports "BS" and "misinformation".
Koepka did however concede this week that he was especially looking forward to the majors this year as he did "miss playing against Rory (McIlroy) and miss playing against Scottie (Scheffler)."
It's a far cry from last year, where the impression one gleaned from 'Full Swing', Netflix's otherwise underwhelming golfing equivalent of 'Drive to Survive', was that Koepka joined the LIV Tour specifically to get away from having to play against Scottie Scheffler.
Koepka emerged from the documentary as a kind of Citizen Kane of the golf world, moping around his mansion, gazing distractedly into the distance as his wife tried to talk to him about her outfits.
After a poor first round in Augusta last year, the four-time major winner wallowed in self-doubt before the cameras while members of his entourage weighed in with insightful comments such as "golf is hard, you're not going to win every week".
Jena - the wife, Miss Georgia 2007 - appeared to find Brooks' negative outbursts a bit of a drag and admitted she did worry about the future, while the camera followed her hopping into the outdoor pool at their Florida residence. (One thing we definitely learned from 'Full Swing' was that the traffic in Jupiter, Florida will ease significantly this week.)
In the series, Koepka's angst-ridden overthinking was deliberately juxtaposed with the blissful under-thinking of Scheffler, the pair lumped together as the featured players on the second episode.
Though a disenchanted Koepka was initially unable to recall the winner of the 2022 Masters, it was the relentless Scheffler who slipped on the green cloth on Sunday evening. Scottie hit the form of his life in early 2022, winning week after week, culminating in his stunning first major victory at Augusta. Cheerfully bullet-proof for 71 holes, Scheffler was even able to afford a jittery four-putt on the 18th green and still win comfortably by three strokes.
While other pros were booking sessions with Bob Rotella and reading 'Golf is not a game of perfect', Scheffler was re-reading the Bible and placing his faith in that other great sports psychologist, his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Prior to Masters Sunday, when he held a three-stroke lead, his caddie Ted Scott reminded him of two key points
- You're not in unfamiliar territory, this is what you do and have always done. Just another day of golf.
- God is in control of everything.
Suitably unburdened and at ease, Scheffler went out and let the talent flow, winning at a canter.
While Koepka, tied second behind Woods in 2019, is a decent shout for the Masters this week, and 2020 champion Dustin Johnson remains one of the game's big beasts, LIV's strongest contender is surely the conqueror of the Old Course, Cam Smith.
The Open champion went off-message this week, in a manner which might displease his commissioner, by admitting that the rebel tour fields "aren't as strong".
But the Aussie is enormously fired up as he faces off against the current kings of the PGA Tour.
"I think it's just important for LIV guys to be up there because I think we need to be up there," Smith said this week.
"I think there's a lot of chatter about these guys don't play real golf; these guys don't play real golf courses. But we've still got a lot of guys up there that can play some really serious golf."
With a major already in his possession, and two top-three finishes at Augusta, Smith looks their strongest bet.
