The new league season throws in this weekend. What will happen is anybody's guess really, but here's a few plot-lines that may make an appearance.
More goalkeeping calamities
It's now eight years since Kieran McGeeney had the mick taken out of him relentlessly as he put midfielder Paul Courtney into goals for an Ulster tie with Cavan [side-note: Courtney picked up a Tyrone league and championship double with Trillick this season].
But like the schoolkid who double straps while everyone else is sticking to one shoulder, the laughing soon stops and everyone ends up following suit.
This year’s league is expected to feature more 'fly’ goalies than ever seen before, with a number of counties using pre-season challenge games to test outfielders between the sticks.
Take Conor Laverty’s Down for example, who have called former Mourne attacker Kevin Anderson back into the squad after over a decade away, and he’ll battle it out with John O’Hare to play the advanced goalkeeping role. Many other counties are thinking similar.
With that in mind, what we are guaranteed to see is more red faces as turnovers are forced out the field and the ball is worked up to the opposition goal where nobody is home.
Full credit to all players brave enough to try the new role, but the risk and reward factor is so strong that entertainment possibilities are limitless.
Goals, goals and more goals
Gaelic football has its critics at the moment; the spirit of adventure making way for a timid approach that kills off all sense of individuality.
True that may be, but this new robotic formula hasn’t allowed the green flags to freeze over at the side of the posts.
In Division 1 last year, 29 games were played and 19 had goals of them. That rose to 25 in Division 2, 27 in Division 3 and back to 25 in Division 4.
Of those 96 games with goals, 71 had more than one major.
Full credit to Leitrim’s Keith Beirne who found the net in five of their seven games.
Jarlath cam
It seems that ever since he won the GAA presidency after a strong initial showing at the Armagh caucus, Jarlath Burns has been popping up everywhere.
Painting goalposts? There’s Jarlath. Need a steward for a McKenna Cup game? There’s Jarlath. This week, hand to God, he popped up in a promotion video for a Silverbridge fundraiser delivering an impassioned speech on the battlefield while in full Braveheart regalia.
As sure as night follows day, the TV cameras are going to hunt him down and seek him out throughout the league, panning to him every time some lad's down to waste time during a black card.
The poor man must be afraid to scratch his nose, knowing that it’ll all be caught by Big Brother and clipped for social media before the itch vanishes.
Die Hard: You'll not get us, hey
What’s left for Monaghan to do in round seven? Even they must be getting a bit exasperated by the meekness of those trying to shoot them down.
Mayo are the latest county who will play the role of background henchman in a James Bond film. Just lie down lads.
Yes, Monaghan cannot be killed off. It’s a 10th year now in Division 1 and again they are hotly tipped for the drop and again they’ll stutter along for six rounds and then just as it looks like Mayo are finally going to do it, the PA system at Clones will boom out the Undertaker’s music and the Farney County will find a way to sit back up, Vinny Corey throwing in Rory Woods or Ray McCarron or something for a match-winning, league-saving goal. Kevin McBride being thrown in to fetch ball in the middle of the park.
The plot line doesn’t really matter at this stage, make it as farcical as you want.
A team not scoring
The day’s getting closer, and maybe this is the season when the shut-out becomes a reality and the bonfires can be lit.
We came close last season, Limerick and Clare both posting 0-04 tallies against Derry, while London, 0-06 against Sligo, and Kildare, 0-07 against Cork, also had days to forget in front of the posts.
At club level, it seems to becoming more and more regular for teams to be shut out in an entire half - free-scoring Crossmaglen failed to raise a flag in the second half of their Ulster game with the previously mentioned Trillick back in November and they’re usually the Harlem Globetrotters when it comes to shooting.
And who could forget the Donegal championship game of a few years ago as Glenswilly beat St Eunan’s 0-03 to 0-02? Those in attendance surely won’t no matter how much bleach they use.
Now, if only there was the return of a well-known GAA manager known for his strong defensive set up and fence-building skills...
Watch Kerry v Derry in the Allianz Football League on Saturday from 5pm on RTÉ2 and RTÉ Player, follow a live blog on rte.ie/sport and the RTÉ News app and listen to updates on Saturday Sport on RTÉ Radio 1
Watch highlights on Allianz League Sunday on RTÉ2 and RTÉ Player from 9.30pm, follow a live blog every Sunday afternoon on rte.ie/sport and the RTÉ News app and listen to live updates on Sunday Sport on RTÉ Radio 1
