This afternoon’s Liveline opened with a most extraordinary story, featuring a couple named Francis and Anne. It is a story of marital strife, infidelity, domestic abuse, criminal conviction and, ultimately, reconciliation.

It was compelling listening.

“Approximately six years ago, I found out my wife was after having an affair. Within a few hours of finding out, I hit her, I threatened her with a knife, to find out the name of the man she had been seeing. I really went off the rails completely.”

Francis had contacted the team at Liveline in the wake of a series of stories the show has done recently about domestic violence, making the point that “the person who perpetrates domestic violence is, people believe, some sort of caveman. But he’s a husband, somebody’s son, somebody’s brother. It’s a very complex issue, and that’s not coming across in the coverage.”

Opening the show, Joe put it to Francis, in typically blunt style, “You are that husband. You are that son. You are that brother. You assaulted your wife.”

“It’s a terrible thing that happened. It’s a terrible thing that I’ve done. I couldn’t have handled the situation any worse than I did. I put my wife’s life in danger. I put my own life in danger. It was a huge explosion in our relationship.”

“I just wasn’t thinking rationally”, said Francis. “It was just a huge bombshell into my life.”

Now, years later, and following a brief spell in prison, Francis is reconciled with his wife, Anne, and living in the family home. But he is very aware of how he is viewed in his community, notwithstanding that reconciliation. “My wife is getting on with her life, I am getting on with my life as best we can….. Even though I’m back in the family home years now … people will continue judge us. In a rural community, people will never leave you forget.”

But reconciliation did not come easy, particularly as the law took this course in relation to this case.

“I wanted to reconcile with my wife and my wife wanted to reconcile with me. But we had the law involved then. The thing is, once something is reported, it doesn’t just get dropped any more. It has to go through the court system.”

Francis feels that, as cases come before the courts, marriage counselling should be compulsory, as long as both parties agree. But when episodes of domestic violence have gone into the public, and are well known within their community, picking up the pieces is far more difficult afterwards. In the case of Francis, he has found it impossible to get work, and this has implications for all the family.

At this point, Anne entered the conversation.

“It’s sad. It’s heartbreaking to hear it all back again. It’s hard for him as well…. It did happen. None of us are denying it happened.”

Many people might find those words extremely strange, coming from somebody who has experienced domestic violence directly. There was a court case, Francis was convicted of assault. How could Anne bring herself to the path of reconciliation? “Why would you want to go back to somebody who assaulted two so savagely?” asked Joe.

“Francis never, ever laid a finger on me before this. He was a totally different man. It was like somebody totally different in front of me when it did happen. I realised I made a mistake. A really bad mistake on my behalf. I loved my husband. And I just wanted things to go back, to take one step at a time, and so did Francis.”

Although she realises many think will find her decision strange, Anne feels she has made the right choice. But what about the court case that arose from the assault?

“I asked for the charges to be dropped, but it doesn’t work that way”, she said. “I wanted to sort out myself and Francis. But they said it had gone straight to the DPP.” And the subsequent proceedings, she describes as “horrendous”. It ended with a brief spell in prison for Francis.

Since then, the couple have availed of counselling and were happy to appear on today's Liveline together. But what about the future for them, given that time cannot be rolled back, that the assault did take place, and a conviction was secured? According to Francis:

“There has to be a willingness, certainly on the man’s behalf, to stand up and say 'I have done this. And I’m not proud of it.”

To listen to the full interview, click here.

And if you’ve been affected by any of the issues discussed here, there are a range of organisations you can contact, including the following.

Women’s Aid national helpline 1800 341 900.

Support for men experiencing domestic violence is available from AMEN on 046-9023718.

For children and young people, contact ChildLine on 1800 66 66 66 or text Talk to 50101.

The HSE National counselling service can be reached on 1800 235 235.