Irish Rugby Sevens star Jordan Conroy says he fears online communities and influencers are warping young males' understanding of masculinity.
Conroy, who represented Ireland in the Olympics, was speaking to Katie Hannon on Upfront: The Podcast following the release of Netflix's Adolescence four-part series which has brought the topic of toxic masculinity back into the spotlight.
Adolescence tells the fictional story of a 13-year-old schoolboy accused of murdering a female fellow pupil and has topped viewing charts around the world.
Conroy says conversations with young men make him worry that society is failing them.
"It always goes back to being the alpha male and I was like, 'You know there’s more to me than my strength, my speed, my physical capabilities?’
"A man, to me, isn’t just judged by what he can provide, what he makes or what he can do. It's so much more than that and I think that's what the message needs to come across.
"Just because certain men have these attributes and others don’t, don’t make them less of a man."
He said the influence of people like Andrew Tate and other media personalities is hard to compete against.
"It's very complicated and obviously they're doing all that for click bait and trying to stay relevant by saying outrageous things," he said, "but they just don't know how bad it is what they're putting out there."
Conroy also said he's unsure why such polarising figures have gained prominence.
"It's very interesting to me why people look up to them," Conroy said.
"It just kind of makes me question sometimes, have we as mentors or parents failed the younger generation because we can't keep up today with what's going on on the internet?
"It's so hard to control with teenagers having phones and what they look at because it's impossible."
Watch: Upfront with Katie Hannon's discussion on Adolescence
Conroy said looking up to such people is not real life and teenagers need to know that.
"This is what they think works when they see adults talking to women in a sometimes degrading manner, they think 'OK he's doing that. That's what's going to work.'
"It's about the people you see online and the people you're going to meet in the real world: they don't function like that. It's not real life.
"It's just kind of trying to break them away from this internet stuff and bring them, pull them back into the real world."
'It took its toll'
Conroy says he has made it his mission to help other children after his mother took them out of a domestic violence situation when they lived in Germany.
"As early as I can remember, from about the age of six or seven, the stepdad started physically hitting and abusing my mother – and that was very tough as a child to experience.
"I didn't quite understand what was happening, but that went on for an extra four or five years and it was a very horrible environment to grow up in.
"Having to see my mother getting physically thrown around the room, being punched, being slapped and always having to run away and try and get help and not being able to actually do something - that's all I could do as a child.
"It took its toll on me, definitely".
Conroy says everything changed when they came to Ireland when he was 10 years old.
"It was just myself, my mother and the sister and I'm very grateful for having such a strong mother to be able to pack up three suitcases [and] take us two away and bring us back to Ireland."
Conroy says he decided to open up about his past to help others.
"At the beginning, I felt like I didn't want people to pity me - I didn't want people feeling so sorry for me," he said, "I didn't want them to view me differently to who they know."
"I started talking about it - it just felt like whatever was locked in my subconscious got opened up... and just came flooding."
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From there, Conroy said he wanted to use his negative story for good.
"I just realised the impact it had because so many boys came and messaged me saying, 'I went through the same thing as you' and even some girls.
"I did not expect this… I was like, ‘OK, I have something here, but what do I do with it?’"
He then told his story on The Late Late Show in April last year, which he vividly remembers.
"I was terrified – I was never ever afraid of TV cameras, I've been on them before, but sitting there, I was literally shaking," he said.
"After that, I just felt such relief because it's like, right, it's out there. Now let's do something with it.
"It just kind of grew into this flower where it's like I stand for something now - I can do good with my story, I can do good with my sports, I can do good for kids, for teenagers to be like a representation of struggle, turmoil, trauma, but not let that define us and set us back as human beings."
"From where I've come from to where I am now - it's like never, never let that be a setback."
Anyone affected by issues raised in this article can go to rte.ie/helplines
Listen to Jordan Conroy speaking to Katie Hannon on Upfront: The Podcast here, on Apple Podcasts and on Spotify.
Watch Upfront with Katie Hannon on Monday at 10.35pm on RTÉ One and the RTÉ Player.
