A recovering cocaine addict has warned against any move towards drug legalisation, which is one of several proposals set to be considered by the ongoing Citizens' Assembly on Drugs.
Coolock-man David Gorman's social cocaine habit led to him becoming a daily user racking up debts of €80,000 before eventually turning his life around.
"I do understand that it would probably reduce criminal activity but the increase in drug abuse and addiction that would come from that would outweigh any good," Gorman told Katie Hannon for an in-depth interview on Upfront: The Podcast.
Gorman started out using cocaine with friends on nights out after a knee injury had put an end to a promising soccer career.
Before long he was in the throes of addiction which lasted for nearly five years.
"The thing about cocaine is that at the start you can do one [gram] and leave it. But then you just want more and more and you're texting people at five in the morning."
The wide availability of cocaine is another factor that played into David’s growing reliance on the substance.
"They [drug dealers] let me rack up a €30,000 bill. I’d send messages the length of essays just begging people, 'can you give it to me’ and you always got it."
While he remained in employment throughout his addiction, most of his wages were spent on paying back debts.
"At one stage I was making €900 a week and for a full year it was going towards cocaine. That is probably 40 or €50,000 a year. Five years in addiction, I did not buy myself a pair of socks. I literally didn't buy anything.
"All the money went back to paying drug debts. I was paying back about 15 different people. I gave them money at the end of the month, they'd give me more drugs. I’d give them more money. And it just went like that."
David’s addiction eventually led to him experiencing a drug-induced psychosis and thoughts of suicide.
"I thought that the whole world was fake. I thought there were drones recording me outside my window. I used to cycle around looking for where would be a good place to kill myself.
"I was crawling around my bedroom floor just looking for a little bits of cocaine. But my nose was completely destroyed and blocked. That's when I got a screwdriver and I stabbed up both nostrils and basically my whole bedroom floor was just flooded in blood."
It was after this incident that David eventually broke down and sought help.
With the support of his family and a drug counsellor he has remained sober and is training to become a personal trainer.
"I just think for anyone in recovery, routine is absolutely crucial. I know a lot of young people get on to me and they feel that because they can't drink or use anymore that they're missing out. But they really aren’t."
All episodes of 'Upfront: The Podcast' can be found here, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you have been affected by on of the issues raised in this article visit www.rte.ie/helplines.
