Ellie Ryan was 15 when she held her father in her arms as he lay dying outside their home in Balbriggan, north Dublin.
"I held his hand… I will never forget it. He said, 'Ellie, I want to go home,' but I knew it was bad," the now 16-year-old told presenter Miriam O’Callaghan in an interview that airs on Prime Time at 9.35pm on RTÉ One.
Ellie’s mother, Olesja Hertova, admitted to forcefully pushing James Ryan, causing a fall that led to his death on 11 August 2024.
Earlier this month, Hertova was sentenced to two years and nine months in prison, backdated to last August.
The judge in the case said Hertova had "lost her temper" during the incident. CCTV footage showed Mr Ryan striking his head on the ground after being pushed.
Watch: Prime Time: 16-year-old Ellie Ryan on the impact of domestic violence on children
Ellie’s parents had been in a relationship for 16 years. Mr Ryan was a former Defence Forces member and had been suffering from Parkinson’s disease and COPD.
His death followed a pattern of violent episodes inside the family home, Ellie said.
"I've seen things that no child should ever have to witness in their life."
Ellie now lives with her older sisters Karen and Lynn Ryan. Ellie says she wants to speak publicly to help other young people living in a similar situation.
"I want to say, you are not alone. I’ve been through this. There is help out there. You can get better, if you just reach out," Ellie said.
Ellie told Prime Time she and her father were inseparable.
"We would go on drives together. We would listen to music, have conversations. We would go to KFC, we would just drive around and we'd have a good time together."
But inside the house, Ellie says she lived in fear.
"There were multiple different incidents where I would see my mother starting arguments with my father. Whether this be physical or emotional, verbal. She would just always start arguments with him. This would happen maybe once or twice a week," Ellie said.
From a young age, she says, she learned to suppress her emotions.
"I coped by bottling my feelings up...it's scary as a child when you go through that you feel really trapped. You feel like you have nowhere to go, you're just stuck," she added.
Ellie said she often felt she was the one trying to hold everything together.
"I used to feel like I was the parent in the relationship... I was like the mother in that relationship."
James Ryan never told his older children, from his previous marriage, what was happening inside his home.
It was only after his death that Karen and Lynn discovered he had applied for safety orders against Hertova.
"My father was a proud man. He was old school," said Lynn. "He hid it well. He didn’t want to bother anyone with his troubles."
The night James Ryan was attacked, Karen said he walked out of the house with his phone light on as there were no street lights.
"She ran at him, pushed him forcefully, his head bounced off the ground twice."
Ellie found him moments later.
The family’s neighbours called for paramedics after coming upon the scene.
Ellie says she stayed by her father’s side throughout.
James Ryan never recovered. His life support was turned off the following evening. Karen and Lynn, along with his adult son and his sisters, stayed by his bedside.
None of them had known the full extent of what had been happening until then.
"We obviously knew there were issues in the relationship," said Karen. "But at no point did we ever, ever think our father was in a domestic violence situation."
What followed was a legal process the Ryan family says failed to acknowledge the full truth of what had happened.
Ellie’s mother pleaded guilty to the unlawful killing of James Ryan and received a sentence of two years and nine months. The judge cited her early plea, lack of prior convictions, and good character.
But Ellie and her sisters say the court never heard about the years of abuse her father endured.
"I feel like his voice was completely silenced and as if his voice was just swept under the carpet," Ellie said.
The family have since written to the Director of Public Prosecutions, asking for a review of the case.
"A full history of our father's case of domestic violence was not brought forward to the judge at sentencing. So, he was not allowed to see the bad character of Ellie's mother. In this case, he assumed this woman was of good character and that was what the judge said," Ellie’s sister Lynn said.
"The defendant had a voice and her father didn't."
For Ellie, her mother’s sentence brought about a deep sense of injustice.
"When you get two years and nine months for killing someone, it's just completely unfair. And it doesn't show the amount of pain that our family has endured or the amount of years that my dad has suffered through my mother's abuse," she said.
In court, Ellie stood just a few feet away from her mother.
"It was difficult for me to read out my victim impact statement..., so my sister Lynn read it out for me," she said.
"It was a highly emotional experience."
Ellie is now in fifth year. She lives with Karen during the week and stays with Lynn on weekends. She’s in therapy, and her sisters have secured legal guardianship.
"I’m doing much better now," Ellie said. "My psychotherapist has helped me through every dark day."
In a message to other children who may be living through what she did, Ellie said: "I was scared; I was worried, and that’s why I’d like to speak up now, to help other children feel less alone. You deserve to be loved and feel protected.
"If you’re a child living with fear or violence, please know this: you are not alone. You can get help and reach out to services like Tusla or Childline."
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, there is help available. Go here for more information.
Miriam O’Callaghan’s full interview with Ellie Ryan, produced by Tara Peterman, is broadcast on the 7 August edition of Prime Time at 9.35pm on RTÉ One and the RTÉ Player.
