It is a moving sight to see young people, working late into the night to help others. In a secret room on a campus we have been asked not to name, every night of college term, a dedicated band of mostly anonymous volunteers provide students with a listening ear for their thoughts and worries.
There is a tendency to associate loneliness with older people who live alone. The other cliché is that third-level students are having the time of their lives, blessed with youth and good health and a busy social life. But that is not the full story.
Last year, RTÉ's Prime Time filmed the work of NiteLine. On a typical night, four or five volunteers work a shift, starting at 8:30pm and ending at 2:30am, every night of term.
Although college can be a very vibrant and stimulating environment, many students feel more isolated than at any time of their lives. Callers describe sitting in a lecture hall with 200 students, yet they haven't spoken to anyone in two days. In the era of social media, there is more pressure than ever.
"I think you catch yourself doing it yourself," said a NiteLine volunteer, "putting up a video of an event you are at college, thinking my friends at home will think I’m having a good time now."
"But you know yourself that you are not settled yet or those weren’t really your friends. It was just a party you were at," they said.
Although there is a confidential phone line, given the age profile, it is not surprising that the most popular point of contact is instant messaging.
The volunteers provide support, not answers, and feel that they are best placed to understand and empathise with the difficulties that fellow students go through.
Loneliness has always been one of the most frequent topics of conversation of calls. And even in the 2018-2019 academic year, coordinator Doireann Crosson noted they were seeing a 7% increase in the amount of loneliness calls in that pre-pandemic era.
"And that is obviously very upsetting for us to see," Doireann told Prime Time. "And when we say that we are seeing an increase in loneliness, that would be an increase in the primary topic of a call where somebody explicitly says that they are lonely or is talking about that for the majority of their call."
The volunteers know what their callers are talking about and that is what motivates them to help.
"I like many other students have gone through my own fair share of mental health issues," Doireann said. "And I think it is universal to all students so I kind of wanted to help students who were going through similar things."
The service makes a point of telling potential callers that "no problem is too big or too small" and many interactions are referred to as "chatty calls."
Doireann said that one of the lovely things about NiteLine is that it is not just for crisis situations: people often ring and talk about how their day went or the movie they are going to see. It is a great way to build a rapport with someone and you will find eventually that they start telling you more difficult things about what is going on in their life.
NiteLine during Covid
When lockdown started near the end of the last academic year, Covid began featuring heavily as a topic along with issues like mental health, college, loneliness and non-romantic relationships.
"It’s interesting: at the moment, the proportion of calls about loneliness is holding steady from last year. So at the beginning of the year it was up, but now it has dropped back a little bit and has evened out between the two years. And we’ll see how it pans out at the end of the year," said current NiteLine coordinator Róisín McGuigan.
"But I suppose part of that is that we have introduced the new call topic of Covid-19 itself – so that some calls might now be falling into that category. And I think loneliness may be part of the issue – and I think loneliness may be an underlying issue maybe prompting people to call, rather than what talk about while they are calling."
"I think there are a number of reasons why people would get in contact," Róisín said. "I know I found if you are thinking of a big decision you can be wrecking your friends’ heads talking about it over and over again – and sometimes it can be nice to ring an anonymous third party who isn’t going to say 'god you talk about this every day'."
Róisín points out that, in normal times, embarking on college life, which for many students involves living away from home for the first time, is challenging enough without coping with the impact of a once-in-a-century pandemic.
"I think starting college in particular can be lonely," she said. "I think first year is harder for more people than anyone admits and everyone goes through first year thinking 'everyone else is having a great time and I somehow have not found my best friend in the world by week two'."
"I have just graduated myself so I did my final year during Covid and I just can’t imagine being a first year, trying to make connections, not being able to turn around to the person sat next to you and try and make a friend that way," Róisín said.
During the initial lockdown NiteLine volunteers had to move offsite. During the recent Level 5 restrictions, they were once again working from home – not taking voice calls and purely operating an instant messaging service.
Because the volunteers no longer have the support of colleagues working alongside them, designated support leaders now start each shift with a group call and make sure the volunteers stay in touch with each other throughout the night.
Despite the challenges, the service has not seen a drop in interest in volunteering this year. And with the stresses of student life now more to the fore than ever, students are ready to give support to others who need it.
When stringent Covid restrictions are in place, the volunteers must stay apart. At some stage in the future, the NiteLine call centre will become busy again, with a happy collegiality. The snack wrappers will reappear.
Confronting the loneliness of college life provides a haven of sociability for those who volunteer. There are other benefits, as volunteer Zara points out: "I think for me, personally, it is so incredible to be given the opportunity to see glimpses into different people’s lives. I just feel kind of privileged to be trusted with other people’s stories, other people’s problems. And it really is rewarding."
The side effects of dealing with the pandemic, including isolation from friends and family have forced many to confront loneliness for the first time in their lives. And for volunteers like Róisín it has made talking about loneliness less of a taboo.
"We all know we are all feeling it at the same time so it is easier to speak about," she said. "We are all aware that we are all isolated at the same time."
