The Great British Bake Off returns to Channel 4, tonight at 8pm, and we could not be more excited.
Will Noel Fielding wear an outrageous shirt? Will someone snap and throw their cake in the bin? Will anyone be able to give Paul Hollywood a witty comeback when he insults their baking creation? Oh, the drama.
Here’s what the new batch of contestants will need if they’re to be a hit with viewers on GBBO.
1. Comedic facial expressions.
2. A dose of self-deprecation.
3. Staying true to yourself week in and week out, even if Paul Hollywood calls your bakes bland.
4. Willingness to embrace baking innuendos.
5. Mentioning your family a lot. Possibly so much you accidentally pipe your daughter’s name on a cake.
6. Starting off average and letting your talent emerge in a later round.
7. The ability not to crack under Paul Hollywood’s icy, soulless stare.
8. A selfless desire to help out fellow bakers who are having a nightmare.
9. And generally just being really, really nice.
10. Pure, unadulterated emotion about baking.
