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Taryn de Vere's guide to becoming a fashion misfit

Updated / Tuesday, 19 Mar 2024 12:43
Photo: Taryn de Vere
Photo: Taryn de Vere

Writer, artist and professional joy-bringer Taryn de Vere shares her step by step guide to becoming a 'fashion misfit'.

As someone who often gets asked about their style, I grapple with forming an explanation that doesn't contain the words "children’s TV presenter" and "clown".

Style as a word doesn’t usually conjure up the types of imagery my outfits of excess and colour express. I could be (and have been) accused of being the opposite of stylish. I’m content with that, I don’t try to be stylish, nor seek to be thought of as a stylish person.

To my mind, the concept of style is heavy with the weight of burden; it’s not enough to have it, you must also know what it is, own it, and stick to it. That all sounds like a lot of work to me.

Finding your look

How we action ourselves in the world tells others who we are or, perhaps, who we want to be. How we speak, what we say, how we carry our bodies, and hold our heads - all these are forms of communication that make a statement to the world.

They tell others who we are and suggest ways that people might interact with us. How we clothe ourselves is another form of communication with our surroundings and society. Clothing is a wonderful, often under-utilized form of self-expression and creativity.

Photo: Taryn de Vere

Having a defined personal style is a structure that some people find useful, if this is you then you might benefit from look-books, fashion magazines, or Pinterest boards to help you find a look that you feel represents how you want to show up in the world.

Know that it’s ok to change your 'look’, as often as you like. You get to make your own rules about how you dress.

As an unconventional person, I struggle with structure and systems that dictate my actions, particularly when it comes to acts of creativity. I like to draw outside the lines in my life, in my art, and in how I dress. If I want to wear every tutu I own all at once then I relish having the freedom to do that. I don’t have a set of rules that I have to follow about what goes with what. If you’re this type of dresser then I encourage you to wear whatever brings you joy.

Dress by feeling

My choice of clothing is largely determined each day by a feeling. It starts with the practical, based on what kind of a day my weather app is telling me it’s going to be. If it’s wet and windy, I know a headpiece is probably not an option and that I’ll need to choose waterproof shoes.

Generally, my outfits are primarily influenced by my mood and feelings. The moods express to me in colours and shapes and I reflect those through the clothing in my wardrobe. I didn’t ever consciously set out to dress based on my feelings and moods. I suspect the habit may come from my autism and sensory processing abilities. It feels natural and normal for me to experience clothing and colour in this way.

If you’ve never tried this as a way to choose what to wear, I suggest taking a few moments, perhaps before you get out of bed, to check in with yourself. Notice how you’re feeling about the day ahead. Are you looking forward to something, feeling excited? How might those feelings be reflected in your fashion choices? What colour is excitement to you? Can you include that colour in your outfit?

Being looked at less means getting away with more

I’m not one for following the latest fashion trends, but I have found my choice of clothing evolving and changing as the years pass by. I remember my Granny telling me that as you get older, you care less about what other people think of you. She said that society cares less about you when you age, and with that comes freedom from scrutiny. It sounded like a liberating experience for her.

She was an unconventional person as well, who wore her bum-length pewter hair in long plaits that she would wind around her head. I took her words to mean that I shouldn’t wait until I aged to find a sense of freedom from society's expectations.

I’m not sure how successful I’ve been at following her advice. It took me four decades to get to the outlandish look I have now, and when I try and dissect why it took so long, it stems from varying factors. I worked in places that required more conservative attire, and I had small children which meant I didn’t have much time - and rarely stayed clean.

Back then my body was a different shape too, so I was able to wear some kinds of clothes that I don’t think look as good on my new (and fabulous) bigger body.

Photo: Taryn de Vere

I’m more confident now than I’ve ever been and maybe that’s what my Granny was alluding to when she spoke of the freedom to express who you are that comes with age.

With confidence that comes from internal validation, it doesn’t matter if someone laughs at my outfit or makes a rude comment. Other people's opinions about how I choose to express my creativity are meaningless to me, even the nice comments don’t change how I feel.

I view them as a lovely experience of appreciation, I feel happy that someone got some pleasure from my outfit, but I don’t need that validation to bolster my sense of self. I see myself as a piece of living art, no two days are the same and I dress for myself and no one else.

Wearing colour

I have clothing and shoes in all different colours - except black, grey and brown. Those colours don’t feel good to me; they don’t lift my mood when I wear them.

The late Iris Apfel said, "Don’t wear beige, it might kill you." I’m not sure how deadly a colour can be but beige certainly doesn’t make me feel joyful, so I err on the side of caution and don’t wear it at all.

I get a lot of messages from people saying they wish they were brave enough to wear colour, or asking me how to wear more colour. Last year I saw footage of London in the late 1960’s and almost everyone, men and women of all ages, was wearing colour. There was hardly a black, brown, or navy item in sight. I was stunned by how different society is now, and how frightened people are of wearing colour, when compared to the past.

My advice to people seeking it, is to start small, with a scarf or a pair of earrings, and work your way up. One of the most joyful unsolicited messages I ever got was from an elderly Irish gentleman telling me he’d bought and worn a pair of red socks because of me, and he felt delighted with himself.

My wonderful Granny is long dead, but I think she’d be proud of me for that.

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