With wedding season in full swing, stylist Corina Gaffey shares her advice on navigating the often tricky dress codes and unspoken rules of wedding guest dressing, and how to express your personality without causing offence.
Kendall Jenner usually causes a stir with her fashion choices, but the model made headlines for the wrong reasons in 2021 when she stepped out in a particularly risqué gown for a friend's wedding.
The black number featured large cutouts across the bust and torso, and prompted an outcry from followers online who branded Jenner disrespectful and attention-seeking. Although the star clarified that she had okayed her look with the bride, it opened a conversation about wedding dress etiquette that rages on today.
Imagine Kendall Jenner wearing this to your wedding 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/PVCyUQjgtR
— coshween (@coshween) November 11, 2021
With fashion becoming more daring, more bold and more unashamedly individual in recent years, finding the right outfit for a wedding can pose some quandaries. When is too much, too much? Is any trace of white a big no-no? Are hats still a thing?
This is no doubt spurred on by the celebrity fashion we consume, when the likes of Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner (are we sensing a theme here?) have each worn extravagantly daring looks to weddings, effectively throwing out the handbook.
The rules might be different for celebs and their friends, but what about the rest of us? How do you know what a wedding dress code means?
Gaffey says that she hears a lot from people who are baffled by dress codes, from black tie to formal to smart casual. These, she believes, are just to put "parameters" on the event. In fact, if you're at a loss at what to wear, look to the venue.
"It's usually dictated by where the people are getting married as well", Gaffey says. "Obviously there's codes, but whether you're a guest or a bride, your outfit should be dictated by the vibe and the venue, in a sense."
It's a handy way to decide what to wear: a wedding on the beach means more relaxed outfits, while an upscale hotel would call for more formal wear. Another is looking to the couple's own aesthetic to gauge their expectations, though Gaffey notes that "you don't have to lean into someone else's style".
"In terms of being strict, someone's not going to turn you away at the door of a wedding if you're not dressed appropriately. I think that obviously they just want you to put a bit of effort in more so and just like, look your best", she says.
With black tie dress codes, can you wear shorter dresses? Gaffey says "you definitely can as long as it's just like a little bit more dressier, if it's a shorter dress and then go for a nice heel". The same goes for shoes: "You could totally wear a pair of flats as long as they're more of an evening flat.
"I think it's just making sure one element is definitely really dressy."
Dressing to codes can quickly become expensive so finding pieces that will serve you again and again is vital. "It's a lot of money to go and go full on with a full-length gown that you're probably not going to wear ever again", Gaffey says. "I would never buy something specifically for a wedding and then never wear it again."
Renting is one option, as well as choosing separates that can be worn again or "midaxi" length dresses that are more versatile.
As for the one sacred wedding rule – don't wear white if you're not the bride – Gaffey is steadfast on it.
"I definitely think it's just a rule that should be adhered to. Maybe I'm a little bit more classic in my thinking. I think just that's one really needs to respect. There's loads different colour dresses!
"I don't even know if it's the bride necessarily themselves. I'd say it'd be more other people at the wedding that would be disapproving."
Gaffey recalls how one friend planned on wearing a cream tulle skirt and ran the choice by her.
"I just said to her, 'do you not think that might look a little bridal?' Not that I would care if she looked a bit bridal. And she said, 'I didn't even think about that', knowing my dress had a kind of a bit of a tall skirt as well. And she might have just felt a bit uncomfortable on the day."
"I think the way to deal with it is, would you be happy if you were getting married and someone turned off in that dress, I think flip it on to the reverse kind of thing and go, would you be happy yourself?" The same goes for something a bit revealing or wearing the same colour as the bridesmaids, which can bother some brides but not all.
"If you don't feel it's appropriate and you're looking for clearance, then probably I wouldn't."
