Introduction
Richard (17) was the eldest of four children Elaine (15), Michael (10) and Mark (8) at the time of the Stardust tragedy. His Mum Helen was 5 months pregnant with her 5th child Treacy. Richards Mum suffered another great loss in 2017 when her son Michael died suddenly at the age (47) it was like the loss of Richard all over again.
My husband and Richard's stepfather Bill passed away in 2019 after a short battle with cancer. Losing a son is the worst thing imaginable especially under such tragic and public circumstances. The loss of Michael years later just doubled on that pain, and it never leaves you. Bill was the only person in my life who was there through it all and understood what it was like and how it left me because I was never myself after that night. Losing Bill was the last straw I lost my husband and the person who witnessed my darkest days and felt the losses himself as he was very close to both Richard and Michael.
Background
Richard was very mature for his 17 years, looked older, and he acted older than he was probably because he had to grow up fast.
I went through a bad breakup with my first husband. He was an extremely violent man and unfortunately Richard would have witnessed this on many the occasion.
He never put food in the fridge to feed the children and I would often go without to ensure my children had a meal. Richard left school at 15 of his own accord to go out to work and provide for me and his siblings. Richard was the main breadwinner in the household after that. He stepped into the role and became the father figure to his younger brothers and sister.
One of Richard’s jobs was to install fire extinguishers, ironically. After that, he got a job with a haulage company along with my husband Bill. Richard and Bill became very close during this time and Richard was happy I found someone to look after me the way Bill did.
Richard was extremely protective of his family and was a great support to me in every way possible. It’s just so hard to believe he was so young with all he had witness and accomplished in his short life.
Richard loved music and out of his first wage pack bought himself a Walkman and liked listening to tapes like Donna Summer, Status Quo, and Led Zeppelin. He used to record his favourite songs off the radio so he could listen back to them. He'd play with his brothers Michael and Mark, and often taught them to defend themselves.
He would always make time then for a game of rounders with his sister Elaine. He really was the father figure they should have had, they adored him and hung off his every word.
Richard loved horses, he would bring his siblings to mass on a Sunday morning and when he returned them safely, he would head off to Oscar Traynor road to the horses.
Stardust Fire
Richard was so excited to go to the Stardust that night. He wasn’t a big drinker, so I knew I didn’t have to worry about him getting drunk and falling coming home.
Richard had no tie on, so they wouldn’t let him in. I heard after, one of the lads was handing ties back out the door and he got one and that got him through. That night there was a dance competition at the Stardust, which Richard was so excited for. He was late going because he was waiting on his wages.
My husband Bill was coming home from work and saw the smoke at the Stardust. He came in and told Elaine so as not to alarm me. He went back up to the site of the Stardust and met a fireman he knew. He gave him a helmet and he got into the Stardust as they were putting the fire out. What Bill saw that night never left him.
Bill searched the hospitals and Dublin city morgue for weeks. I went into complete shock and refused admittance to hospital. I couldn’t leave my other children.
Eventually, weeks later I found out there was a body that was presumed to be Richard’s. It was then that he became one of the unidentified. For years that’s how those children were spoke of in the media and in all correspondence, they lost their identity that night.
Since then
I had to take a step back because Richard’s death was so devastating and cruel. The nation grieved for all lost that night, but I have lost my eldest son, my confidant, and my friend with the fear of losing my unborn child. I went to the church but could not bring myself to attend the burial. In my grief, I didn't go out to the cemetery for two years after Richard’s death. Part of me still hoped that he would walk through the door someday. The unidentified title became a hope that he may be still out there.
I found it very hard to see other families experience such a huge loss; multiple members from their families gone as a result of the Stardust fire.
I remember being told that Richard was face-down when he died, with one arm behind his back. He didn't have any bloods taken in Temple St when he was young, so he was difficult to identify. He had hidden a Mars bar from the boys on top of the wardrobe which was half eaten. I showed that to the guards who said that it wouldn't have worked as a dental trace.
Richard was unidentified for 25 years. I had to write and write to Bertie Ahern to try and get the bodies properly identified. I stood at the grave of Michael Ffrench and vice versa, after being told by the authorities who assured me that I was standing at Richard’s grave.
On cemetery Sunday in St Fintan’s cemetery, there are always new faces who still come to mourn the Stardust victims and people leave flowers and other tokens of remembrance on each of the victims’ graves. I noticed that there was cardboard on the foot of a tree next to the graves. I asked someone why it was there and was told it was put there for friends of the Stardust victims to sleep on at night.
My son Michael died suddenly 4 years ago, and he is buried with Richard. It’s very hard to see two sons gone far too early from this life is such tragic and sudden circumstances. I will never get over the loss of both of them.
When people talk of Richard, they light up. He had a wonderful personality, and he was a great strength to me at a terrible time in my life. He really was an angel in disguise. There has always
been a really strong presence of Richard in our house from the great memories shared and we wonder where would life have taken him; marriage, kids and what career he would have gone for.
But it always turns back to the great sadness and heartbreak that everybody feels. I will grieve for Richard and will until the day I close my eyes.
Conclusion
Everybody suffers loss in their lifetime, but that doesn’t mean you’re ever ready for it. None of the families expected their children to never come home that night, especially from such a public venue. We lost a son, brother and friend. Richard lost his life and his identity. For years he lay in an unmarked grave and was known as one of the unidentified.
This is a tragedy that struck a chord with people all over the country. My other children grew up in the shadow of this atrocity. I didn’t let them out of my sight in fear that tragedy would strike again. To this day, I worry about my 3 remaining children in case disaster strikes again.
These families should have all been offered strict emergency counselling to help with their unimaginable loss. It’s one thing to lose a loved one but to not know how or why? How are you supposed to get your head around that?
It’s heart-breaking to think in 40 years we are all still searching for answers. It’s heart-breaking to think of family members who have passed and never got the answers so desperately campaigned for. This needs to stop now. We need to know what happened to our loved ones. We need justice for our children so they can finally rest.
