Introduction
Caroline Mary Angela Carey was born at home in Dublin on the 24th of May 1963 to Joe and Frances Carey, she was one of seven children.
Background
Caroline was a middle child with a brother Anthony and two sisters Maria and Ann older than her and two brothers, Damien and Paul, and a sister, Lorraine younger than her. Caroline was a much-loved daughter, sister, auntie, niece, granddaughter and cousin.
As a younger child, Caroline was a member of the parish junior choir which she attended regularly with my sister Ann and enjoyed many trips away with the choir.
Caroline left Kings Inn Street school after her Inter Cert, now known as Junior Cert, and went on to complete a secretarial course. She sat an exam for a position with Dublin Corporation, now known as Dublin City Council and came second in Dublin, which made our parents very proud. She was offered a job as a clerical officer, which she accepted. She worked in the Dangerous Buildings section; she settled in well and was very happy in her new position.
Caroline was a very good-looking girl with a lovely bubbly personality. She was very witty with a very mischievous sense of humour. She had a heart of gold, loved her family and was very popular with her circle of friends.
Caroline like most girls of that age loved her fashion and make up. She loved her nails and always had perfectly manicured and polished nails. She wasn't perfect and had some faults. She certainly wasn’t a domestic goddess. At that time, one of Caroline’s chores was to take her turn washing the dishes after dinner. She was always ducking and diving out of the chores, and it was no wonder she always had perfect nails.
Up to a couple of years ago there was a big white burn mark on the dining table where she decided to iron her clothes instead of taking out the ironing board.
I recently asked one of my brothers what his memories of Caroline was. Laughing, he replied, she burned my uniform shirt and probably charged him for the service in advance and I doubt she gave him a refund.
Caroline was a very talented Irish dancer and competed successfully in many competitions. She also travelled abroad to dance at festivals with her dance school. She gave up Irish dancing and took up disco dancing.
The Stardust was a very popular venue and Caroline went every weekend and sometimes twice over the weekend. She left with a group of friends, all dressed up and looking forward to their night out.
She came into the room where me and Mam were sitting, did a little twirl and asked us if she was beautiful.
We, of course replied she was. My Mam told her not to delay getting home after the disco, she waved to her and said don’t worry I’ll be home and left.
Caroline left our house on the night of the 13th of February. She was laughing and in great form and looking forward to a night of dancing and socialising in the Stardust nightclub. It was also the night before St. Valentine’s Day, and she was showing off the Valentine’s card she had bought for her boyfriend.
That was the last time we saw Caroline alive. She was the only one of that happy group of friends that did not return home.
The last time my dad saw Caroline alive was when she was walking down the Kilmore Road heading towards the Stardust. He was travelling in the opposite direction coming home from work. He beeped the horn and waved at her, and she waved back at him. When he arrived home and told Mam he had seen her she said she was probably giving out yards about him because he didn’t stop to give them a lift.
Stardust Fire
In the early hours of the 14th of February, a knock on the hall door woke me up. I assumed it as Caroline returning home and I smiled to myself thinking you’re in trouble now, forgot your key and still have to wash the dishes. It wasn’t Caroline but her friend to tell us about the fire. The hours that followed brought shock, horror and hysterics, going to every hospital in the city searching for Caroline and leaving her details. Also to the morgue with a description of what she was wearing when eventually a garda called to the house and gave us the news we hoped and prayed we would not get, that our much-loved Caroline was dead.
While watching news reports on TV, we saw Caroline being carried out in the arms of a fireman. He placed her down and tried to resuscitate her, but it was too late.
There followed days of people calling, offering condolences. The Taoiseach visited our home to sympathise. Television reporters called to the door looking for photos of Caroline. We had the removal to the church and the funeral.
We were lucky, if that’s the correct word to use, in that we could see Caroline, talk to her, kiss her and say goodbye. There wasn’t a mark on her, even her nails were perfect. She looked as though you could call her name and she would wake up. There were so many families could not see their loved ones. The coroner told my dad she died from toxic fumes and said she didn’t suffer and would have died in seconds.
Even forty years on, I can still clearly see our beautiful Caroline looking peaceful in her coffin wearing a pale blue shroud.
On route to Deansgrange cemetery for Caroline’s burial the hearse in front and the funeral car we the family were in pulled in and stopped. The driver of our car told us the car had a puncture. The poor man was upset and very embarrassed and told my Dad he only had a new set of tyres fitted days earlier. My Dad told the man not to worry that these things happen. The puncture was fixed in minutes, but we had to smile to ourselves because if Caroline had been in that car she would have found it hilarious and was possibly watching down on us having a good giggle. I don’t think in the forty years since that day I have ever heard of a funeral car having a puncture on route to a burial.
I know Caroline never mitched from school but she did mitch from Mass. She would leave the house as if going to church but would walk straight past the church and go for a walk. My Mam
became a little bit suspicious so myself or my sister would open the hall door on her return and whisper the name of the priest who said Mass in case Mam asked.
Since then
A very black cloud descended on our home and stayed there for a long time. My parents were devastated, and many tears were shed. My Dad tried to console us, he was a man of great faith and told us that Caroline was still with us in spirit but we didn’t want her in spirit, we wanted her back in our lives.
Lying awake at night you would think of her last moments, was she frightened, did she cry, did she think of us or did she know she was going to die
For a long time after her death, we didn’t talk about her as it caused so many tears and so much grief. As the years passed the dark cloud gradually lifted, family life went on and we did talk about her, laughed at things she did and said. There have been many family events, weddings, births, big birthdays. Caroline was always remembered and mentioned.
There have been many nieces and nephews born into the family since Caroline’s death and we have two nieces who are her namesake and most of the girls have Caroline as their middle name, so her name lives on.
We often wonder what life would have been like for Caroline, marriage, family, promotion in her job. Would she be a grandmother, maybe thinking of retiring?
Three weeks before Caroline’s death, she revealed to the family that she was expecting a baby. Forty years ago, teenage pregnancy was a taboo subject. My parents were devastated at the news but put their arms around her and assured her everything would be fine.
Caroline had been to the GP and he gave her a prescription for medication as she was anaemic. She didn’t fill the prescription, so the first thing Mam did wad send Dad to the pharmacy to get the medication. She was told to rest for a few days. I remember Mam bringing her breakfast in bed, her sitting up, eating the breakfast and watching me frantically rushing around getting ready for work with a mischievous grin on her face.
There was great excitement in our home at the prospect of a new baby in the family. We were a bit like the Snapper family but not quite as mad. Caroline knew that she had the full support and love of her parents and siblings and was looking forward tothe birth of her baby, but it was not to be.
Caroline’s baby would now be forty years of age and could have children of their own. The Stardust fire that night cut off two branches from the Carey family tree.
Conclusion
I very rarely dream about Caroline but when I do it’s the same dream in which she was injured in the fire and had to go away for treatment. On her return years later, I’m introducing her to all the family she didn’t know. I have aged in my dream, but Caroline is still as she was the night she left home to go to the Stardust. For a split second when I open my eyes, I hope and then realise it’s only a dream and our beautiful, bubbly, witty Caroline is gone and will never come home.
