Eamonn Loughman (18), from Artane, was a loving and protective big brother and pillar of support to his mother. Fondly nicknamed "Eao", he was into his fashion, music, Leeds United and cruising in his Cortina.
This pen portrait is a reflection of Eamonn Loughman from the different perspective of the lives he touched in his brief time as a son, brother and cousin.
Sadly, my parents passed as 'broken' people and were never given the truth or justice for their precious son's death.
My brother Eamonn was born in 1962. He was the firstborn of Jack and Maureen Loughman. John came second in 1964, Eoin in 1966, Niamh in 1967, myself (Elaine) in 1969, Andrew in 1973 and Anne in 1977.
Jack was an Irish army man and travelled to Congo and Cyprus on a few occasions. Maureen was at home taking care of their children. Eamonn was the oldest of four children in 1968 when they lived in Kilcullen. Eamonn's baby sister Niamh died of a cot death in 1968. The whole family was devastated.
Eamonn went on to be big brother of John and Eoin. He was a great comfort to his mother Maureen. I came along in 1969 and Eamonn doted on me. He also doted on his new younger brother Andrew, and by the time Anne came along, Eamonn was already acting like a proud young father. He looked after us all and protected us so much. He would help us get ready in the morning and round us up to the dinner table for all meals.
He kept an eye on us all, and he would be giving out if we were playing up. He would tell us when we were being good and stop the rest of his siblings fighting. I remembered being out playing, and Eamonn would go off playing on his bike with his friends, but he would always come back and check on us all the time.
One time I remember us all sitting at the table having dinner, and me, Eoin and John would be messing and giggling at the table. John and Eoin would be kicking each other under the table, and Eamonn would be telling them to behave.
Another night I remember so well was sitting in my little office my dad had made under the stairs, and every time I closed the door, John would switch off the light and run away, and I would come out crying. Eamonn would give out to him, but he would keep doing it. Eamonn ran after him, told him to stop. He would then come over to me and comfort me, give me a big hug and tell me, "Don't mind him, he's just too giddy".
Eamonn also loved cars. He would go up to the stock car racing in Santry, sometimes he would bring us all with him. He would sometimes take us to the cinema. He would carry Anne on his shoulders and bring us into town for a film. One Sunday afternoon he took me to the Stardust; I think there was music on and he would let me play around with the other children, but he would always be making sure I was okay.
In 1974, our brother John died aged nine. He was playing basketball with Eamonn, Eoin and their friends when he collapsed. Eamonn was devastated and when he would speak about John, he was convinced that while John was lying on the ground dying, he was trying to warn him about something, but Eamonn could not make out what this was, and it was very upsetting for him for years.
I remember Eamonn used to love his records. We had a record player in the sitting room, and he would listen to music all the time. One particular night, sitting with him, we were listening to Seasons in the Sun, and we spoke about John. Eamonn told me that it was a song John was now singing to us from heaven. We both cried.
I also remember the time I was out playing with my friends, and we went up to the cornfields which is now Beaumont Hospital. Eamonn saw me getting over the wall and he followed me and ordered me out of there. He put me on the crossbar of his bike and took me home and warned me never to go up there again.
I would often play in the garden with my little sister Anne. Eamonn would be coming home from work, and we would both run to him and he would pick us both up, give us a hug and give us swings. He would then proudly carry our baby sister into the house and play with her.
He would sometimes pick me up from school in his Cortina he and our dad bought together. My friends would be envious of me getting my big brother to pick me up from school. When I was doing a show in the SFX with my tap-dancing group, my brother would collect me and my friends some nights when he was off. I loved having a big brother to show off to people. I have so many memories of my brother, but I should have so many more.
On the night of the Stardust Fire, my cousin Cathy and I were staying in her sister Carol's house. As my brother was unidentified, they were all hoping and praying he would show up before they had to tell me the news. I wrote the below poem roughly one year after I lost my brother in the Stardust Fire.
I was 13 years old. I've never shared these words beyond my immediate family. So, this could be considered as my original pen portrait for my brother Eamonn Loughman.
I loved him, oh I really did.
He treated me like his little kid.
At night I always cry and cry, oh why did he have to die?
He was so good and kind to me,
but he would hurt nobody.
We loved each other all the time.
He was a great brother of mine.
He went to a disco for Valentine's Day
And on that night I was away.
I came home to tears and cries.
There was sadness in everybody's eyes,
My favorite uncle told me the news,
I could see the pain he was going through.
I cried and cried and wanted to scream,
I was hoping it was only a dream.
I will never get over this tragedy,
Now I'm just a misery.
All the time I want to cry.
Sometimes I wished I would die.
Eamonn was my brother's name,
Without him, it is not the same.
Now he's looking over me,
and I hope that he will always be.
This is from Eoin Loughman, our brother –
Eamonn was my older brother. I remember him always looking after us. He would always make sure me and my brother John behaved. He would often tell us to be good for Mam. Eamonn played with us and kept us in line. I used to love when he would come home with a new record to play.
I had a huge admiration for him because he was such a loving, caring son and brother. He was a guy that loved his family, and he loved going out with friends. He used to drive up to Colaiste Dhulaigh to collect me from school, and I would jump into the front seat, and he would show off and do a bit of wheelspin driving out, just to make a noise, and we both would love the attention from everyone. We would have a good laugh together about that.
When my brother John died, I was only seven. I was playing basketball with my two big brothers, having a great time, delighted to be with my brothers, and I was always picked for the good team because I had them there. When John dropped to the ground, I did not know what was wrong with him, and I remember Eamonn running straight to him and trying to help him. The rest of us were in shock, but Eamonn was at his brother's side trying to help. But he could not help. John was trying to tell Eamonn something, and Eamonn could not get over the fact that he did not know what John was trying to say. That did not sit well with Eamonn. He always spoke to me about not being able to help John, and he was devastated about that.
One time we were out on our bikes with all our friends having a great time. We decided we were going to cycle to a park to play football, but not all of us had bikes. Eamonn would not let anyone give me a crossbar, only him.
When I was a bit older, I was working as a lounge boy in the A1 pub. When Eamonn was 18, he loved coming into the pub with his friends while I was working. He would make sure I always served him, so he would give me the good tips.
My brother's death had a devastating effect on me and my family. My parents had not got over the death of my other brother and baby sister when Eamonn was taken from us.
My mother suffered badly which had a huge effect on me and my siblings. She then suffered a brain haemorrhage in 1996 and she existed in a nursing home for 15 more years. It was more pain and suffering on her and our family, including my poor father. Mum then passed in 2011 and still has not got justice for the Stardust Fire.
A memory from Anne Loughman, our little sister, who was only two years old when her big brother died.
I remember my mum talking about Eamonn and telling me how much he loved me. I loved to listen to stories about him because I couldn't really remember much. She told me about when she came home from the hospital and Eamonn, who was 16 at the time, took me over and sat holding onto me for hours.
Mum was so proud of her children. Eamonn was such a help to her all his life. I remember Eamonn always looking after me and playing with me. He would give me swings and throw me in the air and catch me. I never got to grow up with the love from my big brother. Most of my memories are from the aftermath of the Stardust Fire.
This is a memory from Andrew Loughman, our little brother –
As I was seven years old at the time, my memories of my brother Eamonn are few but vivid. To me, he was the older, three piece suit wearing, working, driving, man brother. He was an adult, sophisticated. He looked after me, played ball with me. He was a big Leeds United fan, gave me crosses on his racer. I remember milling his box of Maltesers he had under his pillow. He was not happy when he realised, and I remember feeling bad about that at the time, which stuck with me. I remember him working shifts, and I remember the racer that he used to light up like a Christmas tree. Classic safety conscious man.
His nickname was Eao. I remember him painting his name on the shed wall. I remember his pal Dougie and they'd bring me up to the green to play football. I remember how deadly he thought he was because he was driving his dad's Ford Cortina. Nobody in the area his age was driving.
He was a cool dude, a smart dressed man in my eyes. I was seven, and that's the perception I have of him. Even to this day as I think back, that's how I see him and that's how I like to remember him. It was only later in life did I realise that he was just a kid. A kid with the rest of his life ahead of him.
A kid who had suffered a tragedy by losing his little sister. And another tragedy at 11 years old when our brother John had died. A kid with his whole life ahead of him.
Saturday 14th February 1981. I remember it well. The day and the aftermath of that day is still with me. The wails of despair and anguish from my mother haunt me to this day.
The commotion in the house. I didn't understand what the hell was going on. I can remember it as if I was invisible that day. It was a very lonely experience that day and the following days. I was shipped off to a family friend's house. They were strange to me and although they had three boys, and the family were absolutely brilliant to me. But it was a very lonely experience. I remember having nightmares and not having any family around. As a child growing up, it was devastating to see our mother and father's heart broken. At the time when I was young, I didn't understand it, but it was very upsetting to see the drinking that occurred. I knew what was going to happen once they bought alcohol.
I used to sneak in and pour some of the alcohol from the bottle down the sink. Vodka and lemon, that was their favourite. It could be terrible, they would drink and blame each other on everything, it was heart breaking. It wasn't their fault. How they dealt with life after that day, I don't know. This was their third child they had lost.
We all knew why they drank, especially my poor mam. We never hated them for it. It just broke our hearts because we knew the love they had for us. My father worked hard and had two jobs, we never wanted for anything. Their drinking caused arguments in the house between them, and it was not a place of peace for us at times.
My mother's heart was broken. Eamonn was never identified at the time, which as a parent is horrifying to think. So, she never really got closure. She hung on to the belief that he could be alive. She believed for years that he could have banged his head, lost his memory, and was out and about lost somewhere.
She believed he was going to turn up one day. Imagine thinking like that. Better to think like that than the real reason he wasn't there. 25 years she had to live with that. We couldn't get a headstone for the grave. We as a family were always very close to our Auntie Elsie, Uncle Tommy and our cousins in the James family. We went on holidays together, days out, sleepovers. We did so much together, we were like one big family. They were with us all the way and helped look after us during the aftermath.
A memory from Carol Barr, cousin and very close friend.
I don't remember a time when Eamonn and his family were not in my life. Our families were so close. Our mums were sisters and best friends. We spent wonderful weekends with our cousins in Kilcullen, and then when the Loughmans moved to Artane, my parents moved house to just up the road.
We all grew up together and laughed at everything. We had holidays, parties, days out together. We cried together during the dreadful sad times that Eamonn and his family went through.
I got married when I was 20 years old in 1979 and Eamonn was at my wedding and gave us beautiful Waterford crystal glasses as a present. That was a big deal back then. He was a teenager working away, having fun and he was so generous and thoughtful.
I last saw Eamonn just before the Stardust. I was in his house and he held my 5 month old baby in his arms and was so gentle.
Eamonn was only starting to live his life and he never got to have all the wonderful adventures he should have. Meet the love of his life, be a great dad, share his family's good times and hard times. And they needed him so much. We loved Aemon and losing him was devastating. Losing him changed my life.
A memory from Aileen James, cousin and very close friend.
Eamonn and all his family were a big part of my life. We were cousins and great friends. One winter's evening, me, Mo and Eamonn went to mass in Ardlea Church. We must have been told to go. Anyway, it was freezing night and I had a bobble hat on and didn't know it was inside out.
I sat down and Eamonn copped that it was inside out and he told Mo. He was bursting with giggles and that started Mo off. The two of them were giggling and I asked them what they were laughing at. And they wouldn't tell me. They moved seats to get away from me but I followed them and kept asking what they were laughing at.
They were in fits and eventually had to tell me. I burst out laughing and Eamonn was trying to keep the laugh in. The lady behind him kept poking him with her umbrella to make him stop and it made him worse. We never forgot that night and always had a good laugh when we talked about it. He was a giddy, gentle, loving person who should be with us today.
I miss him so much. I will never forget the night after the Stardust, I stayed in Eamonn's house with my mam to help look after Aunty Maureen and the family. I remember checking on Eoin who was sleeping on the sofa bed in the front room. He woke during the night, and he didn't know I was there. He was sobbing for Eamonn and saying he couldn't be the big brother that he needed to be.
He wanted his big brother back. I just can't understand how the Loughman family managed their lives after the Stardust. Eamonn was such a loving, caring, considerate, funny person. I still miss him so much.
Memory from Maureen James (Mo), cousin and very close friend.
Two things I will never forget about Eamonn were his deep laugh and the fact that he sang the same note over and over no matter what the actual tune was. He was so funny. He was the kindest, most considerate person and so protective of all his family.
The day after his little brother John died, he told me he was worried that John wouldn't go to heaven because he had pinched a packet of cigarettes from Uncle Jimmy's shop a few weeks before. So, the two of us went around to the Ardlea church and put some money in on behalf of John. Eamonn had the biggest heart and I miss him and John, and I always will.
A memory from Jacinta Galvin, close cousin.
I remember going down to Kilcullen on my first communion day. I remember the windows in the house were really deep and I would sit on them with Eamonn and John. The river ran behind the house, and I wasn't allowed down because of my white shoes. Eamonn and John would have a great time playing together and messing with all of us.
I remember how upset Eamonn was when his brother passed away. It was so awful to see him cry. Eamonn was a beautiful person, and I will never forget him or John.
