Thelma Frazer (20), from Ringsend, was a radiant redhead, gentle and kind, always putting others before herself. She loved her music, playing football, and was a big supporter of Shelbourne FC.
Introduction
My sister Thelma Frazer was born on 29th June 1960 and died aged 20 on 14th February 1981. Thelma was the third eldest of 7 boys and 2 girls.
Background
Thelma had a beautiful wide radiant smile, with stunning red short hair and covered in freckles and of slim build. She was so gentle and kind and would do anything for anyone.
Barbara:
I remember my mum dropping Robert off to school and taking myself and Eric in his pushchair up to wave at Thelma in her job. She had an office on the third floor looking out onto the main road. When she would see us coming, she would come out for a quick hug and a kiss. Thelma was 14 years older than me, the second youngest. My older brother Robert who was 2 years older than me and was born premature and as a result suffered with a lot of complications in his early years. Because of this my mum had to care a lot for him. Thelma was more like a mother to me, she would wash and dry my hair and help me get dressed and take general care of me so mum would have time for Robert.
I loved my big sister, especially being in a house full of boys. Our family home was always bustling, always something going on. Three bedrooms, between 11 of us, it was tight but we made it work. I shared the box bedroom with Thelma. We shared a single bed, in which we slept tops to tails.... I remember her skin on her feet always scratched me because it was so rough. I would give out to her and she would just end up tickling me. What I really remember is the fun in the house, I'm sure the neighbours hated the noise. It wasn't bad noise; it was always laughter and singing. Thelma loved her music and used to buy records to play for us. Boney M and Abba. She would try to teach me [Barbara] some disco moves.
Maurice:
Thelma and I were very close, there was only 9 months between is, Irish twins you might say. We played together, we learned together, we got sick together. Thelma went to St Brigid's Primary School, Haddington Road, where she spent her early days and where not one teacher would have a bad word to say about her. She was an excellent student.
She also joined the Order of Malta in Clyde Road, with her two younger brothers, Mark and Paul, and her best friend, where they learned the skills of First Aid and would be on duty at several events around Dublin over the years.
She went on to study Business and communications at Ballsbridge Business college, where she excelled and was noticed by the Head Teacher, who recommended her to the Irish Productivity Centre just across the road, where she would engage with Irish Trade Unions and Employers and other agencies. She loved her job and I'm sure she would have made a career in the labour relations area.
She made many friends inside and outside of school, college and work.
She loved sports whether it be a 10km run with her brothers or playing football with her work colleagues or going to see Shelbourne FC in away trips.
With all three older siblings now working and earning decent wages, our home was now a joyous place to be. We were finally able to clear the mortgage that hung over our family for years
Thelma was introduced to the love of her life Michael by her Auntie. All the family had such good times with these two doting redheads. From fun holidays in the sun, to the family gatherings in that place in Artane.
Barbara:
A few months before Thelma was killed she won some money. She went straight out and bought presents for us younger children. Myself and Eric still have those presents today, which we cherish. Mine was a little fisher price record player. Thelma was always thinking of other people before herself. She loved life.
Friday nights were Thelma's nights for going out. She would come home from work and have dinner, then get washed. I would race up to bed to help her get ready before her boyfriend Michael would pick her up. He was such a lovely guy, he was just like one of my brothers, I loved to see him come to the house. He was so much fun, he would sit on the floor and play with us, or if we went out for walks he would pick me up and put me on his shoulders.
Maurice – I can recall one night, at that place in Artane, as we were leaving the cabaret, Thelma noticed a young lad getting badly beaten by a thug. Without hesitation my petite sister stepped in, pushing the attacker away. The young lad was unconscious. To this day I am convinced that my sister saved his life that night with her life saving skills.
Then a few months later the unimaginable happened at that place in Artane…
Barbara:
On Friday the 13th February 1981, I was just 6 years old, the night that changed our lives for ever. Thelma came into the bedroom as I watched with admiration while she got her makeup and hair ready and picked out her clothes, me dreaming of the day I could do the same and go dancing with her. She then hugged me, gave me a kiss, and tucked me into bed before heading off with Michael for the St Valentine's night disco.
That was the last time I saw my big sister.
Maurice:
We were woken by our Dad shouting, "There’s a fire at the Stardust!" My poor Dad cycled around the major Dublin hospitals in the hope that his daughter would be found. He dispatched my brother and I to family in Donnycarney in the hope that Thelma and her boyfriend were alive and made it there. Our Dad was photographed outside the Mater Hospital, while the photographers focusing on the taoiseach Charlie Haughey and a Garda in deep conversation, there to the side of them was our Dad with a 2000 yard stare. I was just wondering what was going through his mind at that snapshot in time.
As we searched frantically for hours, our hopes slowly dwindled, and we came to the realisation that we might never see out beloved sister Thelma again. But we lived in hope that she might be in shock somewhere, as there were so many reports that some walking wounded had been taken care of by local people as all hospitals were full to capacity. Added to that, not many people had phones back then.
Our home went from a happy home, full of life and laughter, to just a house. The little ones in the house had been taken to friends and family for a few days as we tried to comprehend the enormous event that hit our family. Our Mam was heavily sedated with all the commotion in the house, our Dad went missing for a few hours and we became concerned. He was brought back to the house by a passing Garda who found him sitting on a bench at Sandymount Strand crying his eyes out.
Two days later we got a call to go to Store Street for identification. We went in, the cigarette smoke was choking and there was another smell there. The sobbing from families was interrupted by cries of anguish and anger. We were given a brown envelope with a few pieces of melted jewellery and the remains of her digital watch which my older brother identified as Thelma’s. I was not convinced; I was in denial. The Garda Sergeant was quite abrupt with me, but on reflection I was grieving already. I can remember the Garda shaking our hands afterwards, God know what that poor man witnessed over the last few days. A few days later we were told that it was indeed Thelma’s jewellery as dental records finally confirmed it was Thelma.
Barbara:
The next morning I will remember for the rest of my life. My Dad, a gentle giant, woke me up shouting, "Where is Thelma? Where is Thelma?" He had me by the shoulders shaking me. I didn’t know what was going on. As he ran off down the stairs, I followed him with tears in my eyes, shocked that he had woken me so abruptly. I entered the sitting room only to find my mum collapsed on the floor in front of the television. I couldn’t understand it, what had happened.
That was the night that stole my sister, that was the night that stole my happy family, that was the night that stole my childhood. A mother afraid to hug, a mother afraid to love in fear of losing another child.
Since then
Our family lost its soul that night as we were consumed by heart-wrenching sobs and a sense of numbness that lingered in our minds forever, impossible to erase, even today.
Our Mam and Dad were truly heartbroken, it literally did break their hearts as both passed away within ten years of the Stardust, both at the fairly young age of 56 leaving a young family behind. Mam and Dad were also victims of that place in Artane.
The horrors of those days had a huge effect on the remaining siblings. We were never given counselling, the only counselling we got was from our family, friends and neighbours, which we are forever thankful.
I was studying Civil Engineering in Bolton Street at the time, one of the lecturers would reference the Stardust many times. Each time it was mentioned my heart would sink and my stomach would wrench. I questioned myself if I could continue to study, but I did. Even today there is a fire alarm test every Friday at 10 AM at my job, my heart skips a beat when I hear it, but I like to think that this testing maybe as a result of my sister and 47 other young people losing their lives that night and it may focus people into the importance of fire safety.
Barbara:
Primary school for me was "Oh your sister was killed in a fire, what does that feel like?", I’d shrug my shoulders and walk away. Teachers would tell me how lovely Thelma was.
For us younger siblings, Eric, Robert and Des, it was all the hushed conversations that we were not party to. Answers to our questions still unanswered. Growing up the neighbours and family calling me Thelma by mistake, which happens still to this day. I know Thelma is still watching over me but what I would give for her not to have gone that night and stay home with me, scratchy feet and all.
When I made my first communion one year later, my sister was not there. When our Dad had a heart attack and we tried to resuscitate him in 1988, if Thelma had of been there maybe he would have survived with her first aid training. When Mum was fighting cancer 3 years later and died in 1991, Thelma should have been there. In my teens for advice, my big sister should have been there. When 17 years later, our brother Robert took his final breathes from his short 9-month battle with cancer, my sister should have been there. In my preparations for my wedding, my sister should have been there. When I had my daughter, my sister should have been there to be an aunty. When my daughter was making her confirmation and chose the name Thelma, my sister should have been there. Thelma missed out on so much in life and everything it had to offer.
Maurice: When I see the Stardust memorial in Coolock, with the man and the woman dancing, I picture them as being Thelma and Michael.
Conclusion
My late dad, Arthur Frazer Senior, had taken notes during the first Stardust Tribunal
in which he had a number of questions, which he hoped would be answered. It is our hope that our late father’s concerns, through this inquest, can be laid to rest
with him, and we can finally have truth and justice for our own and all the other families.
If I could sum up Thelma’s spirit it would be from a few words of a song which she used to hum around the house – "I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony."
Eric:
My name is Eric Frazer, I was just 5 years old when my sister Thelma died in the Stardust fire. That night was devasting for my family as it was for all those who lost and suffered. I only have one lasting memory of my older sister. I feel like I never got to say hello let alone say goodbye to my sis. I grew up in a happy household with many other siblings constantly talking about how lovely she was, and reminiscing on happy times, times I never got to know with Thelma.
My Memory of You dear Thelma
By Eric Frazer
Time has passed and lives moved on,
Yet darkness lingers in our memories.
The night you went to the Stardust,
Lives of hundreds changed forever.
You, my fire haired sister with a smile so broad and a laugh filled with spring,
You lost your life in the most tragic way and with that we lost everything.
Our folks grew old overnight, my brother went grey.
My questions of your return never went away
I miss my "row row row your boat" big sister, every single day.
I wish you could be with us all now and be part of our united happy clan,
I wish I could snuggle you one more time and hold your sweet-scented soft hands.
All the lives you touched with happiness and love, you will never be forgotten.
Until we are linked together in heaven, my heart will remain broken.
My son asks of his Auntie Thelma regularly.
I can’t answer his questions, as I was only five when you were stolen from me.
I have but two memories of you my sister that I hold so very dear,
and I will treasure them in my heart & soul for many a long year.
We can never move on, as we’ve never had the answers.
We can never shed light on what happened to all the midnight Stardust dancers.
