Every week we take a look in the RTÉ Guide archives to check out stories from years gone by. And while Kevin Costner may have been the cover star on this week in 1991, there was another star who got both a mention on the cover and a double page spread inside the magazine.
"Who else during the presidential election could have got away with claiming that Austin Curry [sic] had been Captain of the Titanic, Mary Robinson had smelly feet, and that Brian Lenihan should get a job with Telecom Eireann? And plan to turn Áras an Uachtarain into a 24-lane bowling centre and Chinese restaurant, when elected?" asked Linda Kavanagh in the RTÉ Guide on this week 35 years ago. The answer, of course, was Dustin the turkey, who granted an exclusive interview to the Guide.
Dustin might not have been an obvious Easter interviewee but there was a strange logic behind the choice, Kavanagh revealed. "When Easter was talked about in the office recently the Editor thought that it might be topical to feature a fluffy chick in the magazine that week. So I set forth on my assignment with thoughts of chickens in my head. As I searched for a suitable candidate, it seemed an appropriate and seasonal time to ponder that age-old philosophical question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? In fact, the answer to that universal question was solved promptly and in person - in the feathered form of Dustin himself!"
Putty in his wings...
"There I was, deep in philosophical thought," wrote Kavanagh, "when a scruffy Hiace van with no doors on it came flying round the corner of the new studio block. Just managing to retrieve my foot in time (having dared to step out onto the driveway) I was in a state of mild shock when Dustin emerged. Word was already on the street that I was looking for an Easter chick, he told me, and he was wondering if a half-turkey, half-vulture would do instead. After all, he pointed out, a fowl is a fowl is a fowl ...When he hinted at an eggsclusive Easter story, and offered to take me for a drive in his van (which also doubles as home when he's not bumming a bed at Ray's place), I was like putty in his wings. No one outside of the Den had ever been permitted to travel in Dustin's van before. Here were two exclusive stories - the stuff that reporters' dreams are made of! In retrospect, I think I may have ended up with a foul rather than a fowl ..."
DIY, Dustin-style
As journalist and turkey sped through the streets of Dublin, Kavanagh learned about Dustin's business practices. "Dustin is of the opinion that he is a builder by trade," she wrote, "although there are many disgruntled customers who do not share that view. Nevertheless, he claims to have built the Eiffel Tower, the Central Bank, the Blarney Stone and the RTE mast in Donnybrook. He also claims that his next major project - on which he intends to begin work shortly - is the butlding of a tunnel between Cork and Belfast. Diplomatically, I hid my surprise at the volume of work he appears to have successfully completed, since for Dustin, DIY means that the customers pay him, then end up doing the work themselves."
Luckily Kavanagh survived Dustin's driving. "By now in a state of nervous exhaustion, I was overjoyed when the van eventually turned into the RTE grounds once again. A trip in Dustin's van is a never-to-be-repeated experience! However, there was one part of the story I had yet to hear- what about that eggsclusive story I had been promised? 'Oh yeah, I've got a great new scam going," Dustin told me confidentially. "Remember how, last Christmas, I made a packet selling bottles of Dublin smog? Well, for Easter this year I've just got in a load of re-conditioned Easter eggs fromTaiwan. Mind you, their best-before date expired back in 1987 - but then, I know you won't tell a soul ...'"
