Is it just me or is ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ becoming a bit of a joke? Last night was the third live semi-final of the show and boy was it bizarre to say the least. So far, we’ve already got a kid- band who have probably left JLS quaking in their boots, a mad woman bashing an organ with way too much gusto, an Aled Jones-esque blonde haired boy who must be praying his voice doesn’t break before the final and finally an actually alright pianist, if your into that sort of thing. Diversity and Susan Boyle must be delighted they weren’t in with this bunch; it would nearly be an insult to their talents.
The judges were all back on form last night, especially Michael McIntyre who kept the mood light and the talk away from the Cheryl Cole debacle (but not for long); although he did awkwardly refer to contestant Les Gibson as Les Denis, while Amanda was sitting poker straight beside him. She no doubt gave him a sly dig under the table and a swish with her rock hard looking hair later. She looked ravishing in a backless red number and hair so intricate it appeared to have its own act. Simon was in an unusually good mood (considering recent events) and even enjoyed some banter with Geordie Dec about his position on the show, with Dec firing back that Simon was after the Geordie’s this week. We’ll no doubt read all about this today. While I agree with the aforementioned judges, please someone explain to me what the Hoff is doing judging a talent show. Am I the only one who saw his ‘Jump in my Car’ video? Cringe.
Hopefully with the addition of new judge McIntyre, they will manage to discover an act this year that is not a dance troupe or a singer; there are already talent shows for them.
So let’s take a look at the eight quirky acts who took to the stage last night. Brace yourselves, there’s an odd mix here.
Dressed like something out of ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’, The Circus of Horrors was the first act to fight it out for the public’s vote. Fire breathing, dart throwing and archery while upside down were on their set list. It’s a shame that the cameramen couldn’t decide who to focus on, but we don’t really think that would have mattered. While the first three judges gave a mixed bag of results, bizarrely, Simon Cowell loved them. He thought the Queen would be only delighted to see them light up the stage. Maybe Simon should join their group and they could shoot him out of a cannon. Just a thought.
Next up was Mr. Cowell’s clone. Poor Jay Worley’s life will never be the same after the resemblance between the two was pointed out on ‘Britain’s Got More Talent’. His rendition of the Kings of Leon’s ‘Use Somebody’ failed to impress. Let’s face it, if you were any good as a singer you would have made it on the X Factor already. Besides, little Ronan is standing in the wings ready to blast any singing competition out of the water. While he was singing I thought maybe he should have gone for a Michael Buble song. Funnily enough, Simon patted him on the back for shunning the Canadian crooner. I still reckon I was right.
It’s about time the producers of this show put a stop to dog acts. Angela paraded 12-year old Teddy around the stage like he was a puppet. How do people find this entertaining? It borders more on animal cruelty to me. Poor Teddy couldn’t even look at the audience at the end of his performance and who’d blame him with an owner like that. A dog is for petting, not for earning a few quid from.
It actually baffles me as to why the judges put dance troupe Abyss through to the semi-finals in the first place. They’re like the poor man’s version of Diversity and don’t even get me started on their name (Abyssmal would be more appropriate). Their neon outfits looked like they just came straight from a UV party. It’s a shame that they decided to perform in the dark for their performance, as you really just couldn’t see anything. Their movements weren’t sharp enough to be able to pull that off.
The next act barely deserves a mention. It’s embarrassing for the judges that she was even in the line-up last night. Wachiraporn (yes that’s really her name) lip synced to Rihanna’s ‘Only Girl in the World’ while male dancers (who were more entertaining) ripped off her dress to reveal a pink bikini. The remainder of her act included a quick change into a Union Jack dress and then back into a prom ball gown. Of course David Hasselhoff was the last judge to beep in. Michael said he felt like he was on a stag night and Amanda told her that her five year old daughter could do a better show. I think she got the hint then, well we hope so.
Finally there was an act worth watching. Les Gibson (not Denis) started off his impersonations with a ropey take on Alan Sugar, before moving into a hilarious impersonation of Gordon Ramsay. He had the mannerisms of each person down to a tee. While it has to be said that his Kevin Webster is amazing, are they really going to give £100,000 to someone who can talk like a Corrie character?
It seemed like they left the best until last, last night. Dancer James Hobley wowed the crowd with his elegant and graceful moves. The 11-year-old glided across the stage to Leona Lewis’ ‘Happy’ and you could really tell just by looking at him that dancing really is his life. The boy rightfully received a standing ovation from the crowd and the Hoff, with Amanda being too inspired to even move from her chair. Michael McIntyre definitely let the world know his true feelings for James as he said he’s watched his audition hundreds of times on Youtube. Strong contender for the final two we think.
Finally (and maybe the best of the evening), were Gay and Alan. The pair met 30-years-ago and have been ringing each other’s bells since. They claimed to want to show the public that hand bells are cool. They went about doing this by playing ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ in hand Bells. They have me convinced. Maybe I’ll take up a hand bell class somewhere, if there is such a thing. You just know that the Queen would have loved them and they would have been perfect for the Royal Variety show. Oddly enough Simon hated them. How could he like The Circus of Horrors and not be impressed by Gay and Alan? He just doesn’t get it sometimes. Michael quipped in with a few funny gags at their expense and Amanda loved them.
Then it was back to 2003 as Avril Lavigne took to the stage. I thought this show had a big budget? She looks the exact same as she did five years ago and was probably singing the same songs. Maybe one of her entourage should let her know that green hair is not in fashion and that it never was.
Predictably, Lee Gibson won the public vote with James Hobley getting the judges nod. Personally I can’t believe Gay and Alan are not in the final. Is it even worth watching now?
Maybe I’ll just drop in tonight and find out what Simon’s big announcement is. No prizes for guessing it’s a wild card section.
Sarah Carty
