It’s not a world that many of us are familiar with. One where young girls leave school aged eleven or twelve to tend to their younger siblings only to walk down the aisle four of five years later to assume their own domestic responsibilities. It does exist however and the marriage traditions (as well as some others) are currently been documented weekly on Channel 4’s 'Big Fat Gypsy Weddings’. Set in the UK we see a community sticking rigidly to their traditions and resisting many aspects of modern culture. This programme is strangely fascinating as their world is so different to the usual and while many of their traditions may be distasteful to some it’s hard to turn off as you wait for the next outlandish fashion creation to grace the screen.
Over the last couple of weeks, the series has pulled in huge audience with nearly eight million tuning in to catch the excesses of the family celebrations of the gypsy and travelling communities. Mechanical butterfly wedding gowns (complete with assistant fire extinguisher holder), LED dance floors, owl ring bearers and Cher-style bridesmaid dresses are the norm here. While the travelling men are notoriously secret about their money, everything is paid for with cold hard cash. Cleaning, minding children, tending to the men’s every needs and organising a wedding are the primary tasks for a traveller woman, while men list bare-knuckle fighting, providing for their wives and appearing in the eyes of the community as ‘a man’ as their key responsibilities.
While you can’t fail to have serious concerns over the treatment of the women in the community (as in previous weeks the practice of ‘grabbing’ demonstrated) and the uneasy scenes which feature young girls dressed in very provocative outfits, the programme is hard to turn off and audience are growing.
On last night’s episode we saw more of the men of the travelling community and we also had a contribution from a woman who had rebelled against the traditions.
Violet Ann, a Romany gypsy who has worked in a hotel for the last five years, appeared. In a rather depressing exclamation she told the cameras how she was leaving her job to marry and cater to her husband’s needs. After a gloomy wedding which was overshadowed by the fact that Violet Ann would soon be moving away from her family home into a caravan, her mother’s advice to her was to keep her mouth shut. A thrilling life of looking after her husband lies ahead of her.
While Violet Ann’s husband didn’t feel comfortable appearing in front of the cameras, 22-year-old Johnny, who was marrying Cindy, had no problem expressing his views to anyone who would listen. "Women are just for cleaning, looking after the men, pampering them and massaging them" he said to the camera adding that he was looking forward to getting drunk the most at his wedding. He then grabbed his new wife after the reception and told her he now "owns her".
The real star of last night’s show was Paddy Doherty. As the godfather to 70 children and the go-to man in his halting site, Paddy is like the travelling community’s very own Don Vito. Not a man to be messed with, Paddy has his own Buckingham Palace and convertible Audi to show off. He told us he changes his car twice a year, to keep up his hard man image in the community. And when he acquires his latest toy, Paddy heads straight to visit the grave of his eldest son.
Shockingly, statistics from last night’s episode show that over half of travellers never make it to the age of 50, with poor health care being the main reason. Even more disturbing is the fact that 50% of traveller wives will experience domestic abuse in their lives. What was shocking was how the women consider it as common.
Now used to settle disputes between families, bare-knuckle fighting is a regular occurrence between traveller boys and men. "You’ve got to fight until you drop" Paddy explained casually. And fight like a pair of pit-bulls they did, each pummelling the other until finally one admitted defeat. And even the cameramen were not exempt from threats. "Point the camera out of my face now otherwise I’ll send around a group of boys to beat you up" said the winner of the ‘honour fight’.
While the over-the-top weddings are the main reason why people come to this series there is absolutely no ignoring the violence which seems to be accepted as a normal part of life in the travelling community.
Sarah Carty
