It’s the show we spend all week looking forward to, the one where the word ‘comfortability’ can be used and we overlook it because as the bitchiest, most backstabbing programme out there - it’s really, really entertaining and must-see TV.
It has to be 'The Apprentice'.
Now in its sixth season in the UK and only its third in Ireland the programme is enormously popular on both sides of the Irish Sea and lots of people here are tuning in on Mondays as well as Wednesdays. So who’s winning in the fight for ratings, the quality of the tasks set as well as the boardroom sound-bytes between the legends that are Bill Cullen and Lord Sugar?
Bill Cullen is like a miniature version of 'he who was Sir Alan', but perhaps with more street smarts and needing to prove himself the boss of the show just that little bit more than his rival. With Cullen’s livid stares and forlorn expressions who needs Edward Cullen hey? His ability to get four syllables out of the words "you’re fired" deserves a round of applause weekly, and with brilliant catchphrases such as "I couldn’t give a riddlers", he doesn’t exactly really exude the vibe of "don’t mess with me I’m a tycoon" now does he?
Although I have to say that he has (as the Billster would say himself) the liathróidí to pull off the poor man done good image. Bill Cullen reminds me of a guy you might meet down your local and for all his fierce-some looks he doesn’t scare me!
On the other hand (or other side of the sea), there’s something about Lord Sugar that would make you think twice before you came into his boardroom complaining about having a sore neck (oh Paje) or a hangover from being out the night before with Cullen. Known as 'the UK’s most belligerent boss', he certainly lives up to the title. The man knows his bananas! Fair enough Bill Cullen has done very well for himself, but Sugar has a certain presence, the wisdom and experience needed to send the contestants running for the nearest clipboard and rescue remedy. It doesn’t help the hopefuls that he’s got sour faced Nick alongside him. Go on give us a smile Nick.
Watching The Apprentice is kind of inspiring to me. Even after a long day’s work which is not remotely related to business and an even longer commute home, watching the contestants on both the UK and the Irish shows makes me feel like I could do anything. Now I know I’ve said it before, but seriously where do they find these people? Are they really supposed to be the top entrepreneurial minds of their generation?
Where did Bill find his gang this year? And Alan’s bunch should be arrested for crimes against the English language. Last night’s loser dramatically announced in the taxi home "Karmically they will be retributed". The UK gang do seem to be far superior than their Irish counterparts. While the budding Irish apprentices prefer to spend their time becoming pally pally with each other and then bitching behind their back, the UK hopefuls aren’t afraid to fight it out face to face. Why is there such a lack of harmony in both camps? Is that what they teach you in Business College?
There are certain stock types of contestants in both shows who are picked year after year. There’s the horribly aggressive girl, Nagaite (Ire) and Melisa (UK), the forceful/offensive male, Barry (Ire) and Stuart (UK), the ones who fall under the radar, I can’t even remember their names and then there are the front runners, Stella (UK) and Will (Ire).
Generally there are only two potential winners from the start, but let’s face it, it’s comical watching the others think they might actually be in with a chance of winning.
This week the Irish contestants were asked to create and design a calendar for Ford Fiesta. The Apprentice was used as another hour long advertising campaign and the product placement on the show really does grate. It’s true the Irish version doesn’t have the budget of the UK version, but that doesn’t mean that all creativity should be abandoned in place of a chocolate bar being constantly waved in your face. Step it up a little Bill. Last night Lord Sugar had his lot out selling new products to some of the biggest retailers in the UK.
Maybe Cullen isn’t there yet, but love or hate the Irish Apprentice, you are guaranteed to be still talking about it the next day.
So who to dress up as for Hallowe’en, Bill Cullen or Lord Sugar? Hmm
Sarah Carty.
