2001 – BMG – 63 minutes

It's hard to figure out what those cheeky Five boys are trying to achieve on their latest album. The bad-boy quintet seem to be trying to cram snippets of every single genre into fifteen pop-sized portions on their latest offering, 'Kingsize'. As with much pop that attempts to scale the walls of retro, it ends up failing miserably. Those with a shred of musical credibility should instantly see this for the hollow collection of derivatives that it is. However, tweenie pop pickers and Five fans alike will love this rough and tumble attempt at various musical styles.

Opener 'Let's Dance' attempts a 70s boot call of funked-up filters and vocoders. For one heart-stopping moment at the start of 'Lay All Your Lovin' On Me' it sounds as if the boys have come over all Air. Thankfully the moment passes only to launch in to leather and lace pseudo-metal. Truly tragic.

'Rock The Party' is one of the most listenable songs – purely because it samples the title track from 'Grease'. Just as I was wondering when the first ballad appears, 'Closer to Me', slinks in at track 4. No attempt is made at musical originality, and this also extends to the song titles. 'Let's Get It On'. 'On Top Of The World' and 'Something In The World', anyone? The rest of the album never deviates far from the Five song template despite attempting 80s electro pop, safe hip-hop and dodgy mouth-organ solos on 'Cmon C'mon'. Unless you're a fan of the Formulaic Five, avoid like acne.

Sineád Gleeson

Tracklisting: Let's Dance - Lay All Your Loving On Me - Rock The Party - Closer To Me - Hear Me Now - Let's Get It On - Feel The Love - We're Going All Night (You Make Me High) - Take Your Chance On Me - Something In The Air - Breakdown - On Top Of The World - The Heat - All Around - C'mon C'mon