Paul W.S. Anderson's epic disaster movie Pompeii sets a contrived love story against the historic eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 A.D..
Kit Harington, who plays sullen Jon Snow on Game of Thrones, stars here as the similarly glum Milo – a slave turned gladiator whose family and entire clan were slaughtered by Romans led by the evil Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland).
His notoriety as a sword-swinging, ass-kicking fighter has led to him being known simply as The Celt, and he is brought to the city of Pompeii to provide entertainment to the masses in the gladiator arena. He soon catches the eye of Cassia (Emily Browning) who is, you guessed it, a highborn lady – the daughter of the city's ruler who refuses to play by the rules.
However, their blossoming romance is interrupted when Corvus, now a corrupt Roman senator, rides into town with the intention of taking Cassia's hand in marriage.
Milo also has more worries on his hands when he is pitted against unbeaten gladiator (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), who has to win just one more fight before he is granted his freedom.
With Mount Vesuvius furiously bubbling in the background, Milo sets about trying to avenge his fallen tribe, save his love Cassia from Corvus and stay alive in the gladiator arena.
Pompeii aims to be an exciting, heart-in-your-mouth action-thriller, but the hackneyed characters, weak performances and an all-too-pervading sense of futility leads you to invest very little in the proceedings.
There are some pretty impressive set pieces, including a scene in which Milo and Atticus fend off an entire Roman battalion while chained in the amphitheatre, but when the volcano finally erupts the Armageddon overkill - fireballs firing into the city and tsunamis destroying the coast - leaves the audience completely desensitised.
Harington, perhaps, just isn't leading man material, or maybe he's just sick of waving a sword around and sporting tumbling curly locks. Either way, he fails to make much of an impression as Milo. Browning has even less to work with as the spirited damsel-in-distress, while Sutherland brings a bit of unintentional hilarity to the movie as smarmy Corvus, who is basically just Jack Bauer on a horse. A bit of effort with his short-back-and-sides haircut wouldn't have gone amiss.
Akinnuoye-Agbaje, perhaps best known for his roles in Oz and Lost on the small screen, adds a bit of weight to the story, and is utterly believable as the invincible gladiator Atticus.
Unfortunately, it's not enough to save this out-and-out disaster of a movie.
Sarah McIntyre
