Watching Mr T on TV flogging chocolate from a tank and helicopter left some of us with a hunger; not for peanuts and caramel, but to see the man himself having a career rebirth and returning to the big time. Then, in one of those wish-reality collisions, he was offered a cameo in the movie version of 'The A-Team' - after years doing ads, how could he refuse? However, unlike his former co-stars Dirk Benedict (Face) and Dwight Schultz (Murdock), Mr T turned the role down. Having sat through the film, his taste is one of the few things that can be applauded.
The film opens with the story of how the A-Team first got together, Army Ranger Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith and comrade Templeton 'Faceman' Peck (Cooper) hooking up with former Ranger turned car thief BA Baracus (Jackson) and unhinged veteran HM Murdock (Copley) while on a mission down Mexico way. It's a smart and thrilling prologue that mixes action, laughs and nods to the TV series and leaves you with some of the giddiness you felt while watching episodes all those years ago.
Fast forward to 2002 and Smith and his men are in Baghdad where they've just foiled a plan to smuggle millions in counterfeit dollars and the printing plates out of the city. But as they savour their success they are double-crossed and then arrested. Court martial and prison sentences follow but once inside Hannibal receives a visit from a CIA man (Wilson) with an offer. And so begins the A-Team's mission to clear their names and get the plates back.
Things go downhill so fast after this that you may hear the sound of shoes screeching on the cinema floor. With a flung-together plot, no suspense, an over-reliance on poor CGI set pieces, a paucity of good gags and a dud villain and love interest, this is a mega budget mess.
While perfectly cast in the roles of Hannibal, Face, BA and Murdock, Neeson, Cooper, Jackson and Copley are given very little to work with, leaving you bewildered as to how a director as capable of doing slick and gritty as 'Narc's Joe Carnahan could've got it so wrong. His film might be fun for kids under 12; those aged over 30 won't be quite so forgiving. Let's hope Stallone's upcoming 'The Expendables' eases the pain.
What should've been the highlight of the summer for many will turn out to be its biggest disappointment, and the greatest injustice here isn't what happens to The A-Team but to the actors playing them.
Don't you just hate it when a plan doesn't come together?
Harry Guerin
Listen to the 'Framerate' review of 'The A-Team' from RTÉ Choice.
