Directed by Ed Bye, starring Sophie Thompson, Fiona Allen, Jerry O'Connell, Anthony Head and Geri Halliwell.

Two of Viz Magazine's best-loved creations, the Fat Slags, get the big screen treatment in this poor excuse for a comedy. With vulgar toilet humour, over-the-top acting and an impossible plot, this is a movie that should never have been forced on an unsuspecting public.

Tracey Tunstall (Thompson) and Sandra Burke (Allen) are the eponymous chain-smoking, shag-loving, boozing Fat Slags. Hopeless at their jobs and longing to get away from their northern town of Fulchester, an invitation to be part of the audience on a daytime chat show in London is a dream come true. Meanwhile, media magnate Sean Cooley (O'Connell, best known for his stint on sci-fi TV series 'Sliders') is accidentally hit on the head, turning the ruthless businessman into a generous and charitable person. His personal assistant, Paige (Halliwell) and lawyer Victor (Head, Giles of 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer' fame) are totally confused when he spots the Slags on television and vows to make them stars.

A rollercoaster ride to fame and fortune follows with Sandra and Tracey's outrageous style winning hearts at London Fashion Week. Fat becomes the new black and the girls are the new darlings of the celebrity world. A pop career follows and the Slags' dreams look all set to come true. But, as is often the case where a rich and handsome man is concerned, the girls soon come to blows over just whose boyfriend Cooley is. Things go downhill fast as an incident with a diplomat lands the girls in prison and Cooley is returned to his former heartless self. The Slags decide to pay him back for putting an abrupt end to their fame and finally, after a botched attempt at revenge, they end up back in Fulchester.

There's nothing to redeem this mess. Even the girls getting one over on the model-type salesgirl, in the form of Naomi Campbell and Cooley telling weight-obsessed Geri Halliwell's Paige to get into the car before she blows away in the breeze is a shallow effort at confronting the prejudices and problems of the weight/health debate. The predictable 'jokes' are appallingly vulgar and the only way anyone would laugh at them is with embarrassment. Why serious actors such as O'Connell and Head would associate themselves with such rubbish is a complete mystery.

'Fat Slags' is vulgar, crass and as irritating as the high-pitched whines that Sandra and Tracey speak with throughout. Even suspending disbelief won't help here.

Katie Moten