John Byrne recaps Tuesday's final episode of The Traitors Ireland, where the five remaining players battle it out on a long day when nerves are shred and mind games are played out.
*Spoilers galore*
And so, it comes to this.
Ben, Kelley, Nick, Oyin and Vanessa. The Fateful Five.
But only three of them are Faithful.
Will the three remaining girls cop on that the boys aren't what they appear to be?
Or will Nick and Ben - the Traitor men - laugh all the way to the bank as the Faithful fight amongst themselves?
On Monday night's episode, Wilkin was murdered and Faye fell by the wayside and got banished. Only five are standing from the original 24.
This is the final of The Traitors Ireland.
Morning glory
To start off the final, there’s a recap of the Faithful departed as well as the four Traitors.
There’s also a flavour of Faye’s ill-tempered banishment.
But it's the last breakfast, so everyone should be in good form.
Although there’s no overnight murder, tradition is observed as the contestants turn up in clumps. First in, Kelley and Oyin.
"I’m feeling quite content," says Oyin. "Because I made it to the last breakfast. That’s amazing! I didn’t think I would make it this far."
She then recalls the "spectrum of emotions" that she and her fellow players went through during their time in Slane Castle.
"Whatever way it pans out, at least I got to play the way I wanted to play my game."
Watch: Kelley and Oyin discuss the possibility that Nick and Ben are Traitors
Kelley recalls: "One thing I’ve learned from this experience is that I can get through the tough times and grow stronger. You grow through what you go through..."
She also reckons she’s got issues trusting anyone who’s left but feels "one of the boys" is a Traitor. "But which one?"
Oyin tells her: "I feel like I trust Nick." Kelley feels the opposite.
They’re trying to figure out who the last two Traitors are.
"Is there a chance it’s the two of them?" Kelley wonders. "Oh," says Oyin. "That’s scary."
Oyin’s radar switches on. "Something’s not right here," she says. "And we’re going to get to the bottom of this."
Then there’s a knock. It’s Ben. End of that conversation...
"I’ve had the best time of my life," Ben tells the camera. "It’s been unbelievable. I got to experience the whole game from start to finish. In both roles... I feel so privileged to be in this position."
Another knock. It’s Vanessa.
"I’m buzzing to have made it to the final five," she says. "I feel so good - it's such a weird feeling. Maybe I didn’t think I’d get this far.
"Because I’m such an emotional person, the highs are really high and the lows are also so low. I have an opportunity to win this - I absolutely want to do that."
Obviously, Nick is last.
"I’m the last to walk in and the mood is quite... edgy," he says. "It does feel incredible to make it to this point.
"I got to feel it as a Faithful and get Traitors out. I got to feel it as a Traitor when the pressure’s on. You’re fighting for your life.
"The whole experience is unbelievable, though."
Ben looks through the possibilities and probabilities of the later vote and feels: "Kelley has the swing vote. It just depends on what way she goes."
Vanessa agrees. "I’m trusting Kelley a little bit more," she says. "Just to see how things go later. I’m feeling like the boys are coming at me and will be voting for me."
Ben then admits: "We’re trying to get rid of Vanessa first."
Siobhán arrives to break the ice.
"How are we all doing?" she asks with a smile. Lots of nods. Well, five. "Your entire time at the castle has been building up to this moment," she adds.
"By the time your head rests on your pillow again, you will know who will have walked off with the prize pot, which currently stands at €32,900. Well done.
"Soon, your final mission will begin and believe me, haw, haw - this will be no ordinary mission."
Mind blowing decisions
After breakfast, it’s clear that Vanessa and Oyin are targeting Kelley. She’s pretty non-committal.
Does she know yet that she’s the power broker between those two and the Bennick Bros?
Kelley’s not stupid. "I think it’s case of trying to gather votes," she says. "Ben will go for Vanessa and Vanessa will go for Nick.
"The boys and girls have all said they don’t think it’s me [who’s a Traitor]."
It’s Ben and Nick’s turn to woo Kelley. "Whatever happens, happens," she tells them.
Watch: 'Has anyone talked about gameplay' - The finalists gear up for the last round table
Nick tells the camera: "There is a plan. We agreed that Vanessa’s the person we need to target to split the duo up, Vanessa and Oyin.
"Once we break that, we feel like we can go further."
Kelley gets to the point. "I do believe that maybe my casting vote will make a difference. I think it is like a 2 v 2 situation and then I’m not the one to get voted out.
"I just think that I need to find a Traitor."
The Bennick Bros agree to try trip up Vanessa and plot. This is going to get dirty.
Time for the mission
Let’s groove
As the five gather outside the castle, Siobhán tells them: "You have encountered every single element you will need in this mission.
"Specifically, those elements are earth, fire, air, water and spirit. This mission will encompass everything that makes up you, and everything around you.
"Everything, that is, apart from the €8,700 that are up for grabs in this mission."
She then adds: "It’s the final! Let’s make it a cool, €10,000!"
And the task? "This mission will require you to reacquaint yourselves with each of those five elements and collect the corresponding crystals along the way.
"Your powers of observation are crucial in this mission. They could be anywhere . . . You have 60 minutes."
Kelley sees the mission as a break from the mind games between the players. She’s right.
But Nick admits "It will always be at the back of my mind - the end goal."
The five of them need to find all five crystals to access The Spire of Lloyd, where the money is located, which is 25km away!
Naturally, I’m not going to detail all of what ensues, or you’ll be still reading this next Tuesday.
As well as crystals, there are clues along the way. "All this is real creepy," says Vanessa.
Nick’s razor-focused on the money.
The gang hit a candle-filled dungeon. Then there’s a rowing boat on a river.
This would be good for team spirit - if there was any team spirit left.
Then a helicopter arrives to whisk them off, to much excitement.
With a sprint, they’re at the final hurdle. Match five elements and the ten grand is theirs.
Well, after a sprint all the way up to the top of the tower. But they do it - and still have enough puff for a chorus of 'Ole, ole.’ They’re such Paddies!
The final countdown
Nick and Kelley are together on the way back to the castle. Naturally, he’s having pop at Vanessa.
"There’s definitely a few moments in what he’s saying, that I’m like, Wait. Have I gotten this so wrong? Have I been blindsided by Vanessa and Oyin here?"
In the other car, Been with Vanessa and Oyin. Not so much chat there. "It feels a bit awkward," says Oyin. "We’re heading back to the castle - and back to the castle means Round Table."
Watch: Kelley wonders if she has 'gotten it so wrong' ahead of the final round table
Meanwhile, Nick is still on Vanessa’s case with Kelley.
Vanessa arrives first at the Round Table, wearing a red dress. She means business!
Then Ben walks in, wearing a dinner jacket! No dickie bow, mind.
"I just don’t know what way it’s going to go," Nick confesses.
Oyin is next, in a black dress. "We’re all just so tired," she admits.
"I’m just not confident in any of my suspicions," says Kelley.
Nick’s more casual, with a jumper over his shirt.
Oyin’s determined. "I’m not leaving this Round Table without the outcome that I want."
Siobhán arrives, all dressed up - nothing new there, of course.
"This is the last time you will sit here," she says. "The prize fund now stands at an incredible €42,900. Well done guys. You should be proud of yourselves."
Then she adds: "I should remind you that if only Faithfuls remain at the end of the game, they get to share the pot prize.
"However, if a Traitor is left standing, then they take everything. This is your final Round Table - use it wisely.
"So, who do you trust? Who will stab you in the back? And how well do you really know each other?
"For the very last time, discuss."
Suspicion
Oyin opens. She aims at Nick. "I feel you’ve been slipping through our fingers," she says. Correctly.
She recalls that the last name Paudie wrote - on the night he got banished - was Nick’s. "I do believe that Paudie seduced you.
"Yourself and Ben have been pushing a narrative that the last standing Traitor would have blackmailed a girl. It does leave a few questions for me."
Ben’s next. He reckons Paudie recruited a female "Because he said 1. He wouldn’t take me or Nick because of what we’d done to Andrew.
"2. He said 'Look after the girls’ and I thought there was something in that. And I tried to whittle down, from that, who it could have been."
Nick jumps in about him "slipping through the cracks". It’s going to get lively here.
He accuses Vanessa of being "surrounded" by the lies of previous Round Tables.
"I sat back and listened. With those lies you’ve gotten rid of two Faithfuls - and now you’re saying I’ve slipped through the cracks?"
Ben tries to jump on Vanessa admitting she made mistakes at the last two Round Tables, before Kelley interjects.
She asks Nick why he didn’t defend Faye the previous night.
"I did try to defend her!" he insists. "You didn’t say a damn thing," Oyin mocks him.
Vanessa adds: "You didn’t defend her."
"If you think that’s the observation you got from that conversation, that’s fine," says Nick, regaining his mental balance.
Oh man. I’ve got that headache again that goes to my toes. I need an ad break!
Lyin' eyes
It’s Oyin v Nick as they swap accusations, as she repeats that he "fell through the cracks". "After two major mess-ups," Nick responds, "I’m the one who slipped through the cracks?"
Vanessa then says: "My behaviour has been consistent with my values" while adding that the mistakes she made on previous was "acting on misinformation."
She adds: The one thing that will trigger me is people speaking falsely about my character. Question my behaviour, but don’t you dare call me aggressive - because you did the exact same thing."
That puts Nick back in his box.
It carries on. And on. It’s even more about Kelley than it was before this Round Table began.
Then Kelley addresses Nick. "You said yourself; you wanted to vote for Vanessa. I feel you have always stuck with what you believed in, you always had your theories and you always pushed for them.
"And if you thought it was Vanessa, why didn’t you stick with that? I feel like you’re not one to get swayed."
Nick explains himself, but it feels like Kelley is really doubting Nick now.
Meanwhile, he again points a finger at Vanessa.
Kelley says: "I feel like it’s going to be 2-2 and I’m going to be the swing vote. And to be honest, I’m so confused.
"I can see both sides of it but I don’t get it."
Oyin goes for Ben. He defends himself but Kelley speaks up again.
"I think if you were a Traitor, you’d vote out Faye because the votes were going that way."
If only Kelley listened to herself, her choice would become a lot clearer.
Kelley looks like she has the weight of Slane Castle on her shoulders.
Well, that and the weight of 42 grand.
Siobhán asks for any last contributions. No takers. It’s time.
So long, farewell
First up - not Kelley! Please, please - not Kelley!
"Nick," says Siobhán. "We’ll start with you."
"Vanessa, I’ve chosen you."
Vanessa’s next. "I’ve voted for Nick."
Third up, Ben. "I voted for Vanessa."
Siobhán then asks Oyin. "I voted for you Nick," she says.
It was always - always - going to be down to Kelley.
Siobhán pauses for what feels like a decade. Then calls on Kelley.
"Sorry, Nick, I voted for you."
Watch: Nick falls at the final hurdle and is outed as a Traitor
The result is greeted with the loudest silence in Irish TV history.
Siobhán calls Nick up to be banished. He must be devastated.
I feel so, so, soooo sorry for him and I’m delighted he’s gone. He’s been great craic.
"Today will go down as one of the best days of our lives," he says, hands in his pockets. "I’m delighted to be there for it. What an experience. I love you all. It’s only a game.
Then he adds: "Paudie was half right. I’m a Traitor."
Ben looks a little lost and in despair. Kelley and Oyin embrace.
"Me and Oyin are buzzing!" Kelley tells the camera. "Jumping off our seats. Doing backflips." Slight exaggeration there, but that’s allowed.
A little like Ben, Vanessa is still sat in her chair, staring blankly in front of her.
"Two very different reactions," says Siobhán. "How interesting."
Before she departs, Siobhán says: The next time you see me, it will be end game."
While Ben wonders if he can survive without Nick, and the other two are chuffed with themselves, Vanessa takes a detached view of things.
"Now it’s a little bit unpredictable," she says. "Going into the last round of things."
The winner takes it all
To camera, Siobhán explains the final scenario.
"Our remaining players have a simple choice to make," she says. "If they believe all are Faithful, they can stop the game in the hope of sharing the cash prize.
"If they believe a Traitor is in their midst, well, they can banish again.
"One thing’s for certain. If there’s a Traitor at the end, they will walk away with the entire cash prize."
All four have their doubts as they gather at a fire in the dark outside the castle with Siobhán.
But only Ben knows he’s a Traitor.
Siobhán wonders: "Is there a Traitor still in your midst?"
She explains that if just one of the four chooses to banish again, that’s what must happen.
Each one chooses a pouch to cast their vote. They must then throw their pouches into the fire. If the fire ignites, they’ve to banish another player.
They all choose to banish again. But first, each makes their defence.
Ben: "I’ve always been a Faithful... But there is a Traitor among you."
Watch: Bye bye Ben - the final Traitor standing leaves the castle and prize money behind
Vanessa then claims "an amazing and unique connection with each and every one of you... I know that there’s a traitor, but you guys know it’s not me."
Kelley also says she’s a Faithful and agrees there’s a Traitor, "but if you vote for me you won’t be catching them."
Finally, Oyin. "I’m a Faithful – that has never changed . . . and I also believe that there’s a Traitor that we need to get out."
Siobhán asks them to take a slate and vote.
She then asks Oyin to go first. "The player I’ve decided to banish is Ben. Up until now I think he’s really hid in the shadows."
Ben’s next. "I voted for Nessa," he says. "Because I think she’s playing a great game, and I think she’s a Traitor."
Siobhán invites Kelley to cast her vote. "Nick played a great game," she says. "But I think he’d a partner in crime. Ben."
Will Vanessa square things up by voting for Vanessa? Not even The Traitors Ireland can provide that kind of twist.
Ben’s done. The girls have won.
Vanessa’s in tears. "Ben’s been a great friend," she says. "But I also think you’ve been a great Traitor."
Siobhán asks Ben to speak. "It’s been an absolute pleasure," he says. "Playing the game with you, but more importantly, getting to know you – especially over the last few days.
Watch: This is the moment Oyin, Kelley and Vanessa find out they have won The Traitors Ireland
"Even though I’m leaving you, I’m going to my beautiful wife and my lovely son. I miss them so much. You’ve put me out of my misery.
"And I’d like to let you know, I am a Traitor."
Three hugs and he’s gone.
"I know I’m going to look back with happy memories," he says to the camera. "I’ve gotten more out of it than money could ever give me, to be honest."
Siobhán then asks the three remaining players to select another pouch to see if anyone thinks there’s still a Traitor among them.
Oyin goes first. No light. Same story with Kelley. Vanessa makes it a clear round.
After several nights where the girls tore each other apart, three of them reveal that they’re Faithful and get to share the prize pot.
The last words went to a rather happy Vanessa. "Traitor slayers! Guys! Oh my God ! Wow!"
Now, when does the next season of The Traitors Ireland begin?
