John Byrne recaps Tuesday's ninth episode of The Traitors Ireland, where the hug of death brings a flood of faithful tears and some furious finger-pointing. *Spoilers galore*
There was a lot to reflect on after Monday night's Traitors Ireland.
But the substantive issue was that, after eliminating three traitors over the previous three nights, the faithful unraveled as four of their own were lost in a single episode.
First, Nick switched sides after Paudie invited him to become a traitor.
Then Mark emerged as the Death Row victim.
Patrick followed as the unfortunate recipient of the latest banishment.
Finally, Nick condemned Christine with a hug as the traitors were ordered to murder in plain sight.
That day should from now on be recalled as the Slaughter at Slane Castle.
The mood must be downbeat as we enter day nine.
Mourning Has Broken
First to breakfast is... Christine! Wasn’t she? Isn’t she? How come she?
"Queen of the castle," she laughs.
Then Nick and Vanessa arrive.
"It’s a completely different ball game when you’re in it as a traitor," Nick tells the camera. "it’s two completely different worlds, basically. You feel way more paranoid with a different hat on."
Vanessa tells Christine: "I’m not going to lie - I'm still stuck on you and Faye."
Watch: First to breakfast is... Christine! Wasn't she murdered?
Next in: Faye, Kelley and Amy. Faye thinks she’s okay "because I’m taking the heat."
Wilkin walks in. Still smiling, despite coming close to banishment last night.
Oyin and Paudie enter the breakfast room - so who’s left and what’s up?
"I don’t know who Nick murdered last night," no-hugger Paudie confesses to the camera. "That’s a definite advantage to me. I might have a faithful reaction when I see who is murdered."
Joanna and Ben are left. Did Nick murder his bestie?
He’s certainly a person of interest for the rest.
Then Ben walks in. Which means Joanna’s in a jocker!
"I’m so close to Nick," Ben tells the camera. "That’s my thought on every breakfast – is he going to be there?"
Then Joanna walks in. Was Vanessa – her with the shield - the one who Nick tried to murder? It’s the only logical explanation.
Nick stirs the pot by whispering to Christine that he thinks Joanna and Paudie are the traitors. The sneaky little rat!
Mission to Murder
Siobhán arrives and notices an upbeat mood. "We are very loud this morning," she says.
"As you are all here, I can tell you that the traitors did not murder at the conclave last night. But they have been busy.
"Last night, they murdered in plain sight by placing a piseog on one of the faithful sat here today."
She then explains to the uninitiated – and anyone who didn’t see last night’s episode - that a piseog is an ancient Irish curse.
Watch: Mind games are the order of the day
"It means that, unfortunately, one of the faithful who is sat here today is dying slowly in front of your eyes. And will be dead by the end of the mission."
Immediately, there’s a mental scramble to determine what happened last night.
"My mind is playing tricks on me," Faye admits to the camera. "Who handed me a drink last night? Who handed the champagne bottle to open?
"Every single scenario is running through my head... It’s driving me crazy!"
Nick, meanwhile, reckons: "It’s all great craic. I just want to win..."
Everyone else is submerged in paranoia. The effin’ is in overdrive as Christine goes for Ben.
Paudie admits to playing the ageing game. "And I’m quite happy to do that." He even manages a sentence without swearing.
Just the one, mind.
As they head off to the mission, Nick gives Ben some 'get Paudie’ vibes. Meanwhile, Christine is hellbent on Ben.
Funeral For a Friend
Siobhán thanks everyone for coming. Yeah, but who’s going?
"By the end of the mission," she explains, "one of you will be dead. And soon, you’ll make the long walk to your wake.
"Your job is to decipher which poor unfortunate has been cursed."
On the upside, if they get it right it will add €2,000 to the pot.
Basically, a series of questions have been placed along an avenue, and the answers will determine who isn’t the doomed faithful.
Which means the last one left will be murdered.
Vanessa is first out as she has a shield.
"It feels horrible, really," says Oyin. She’s also the next one safe. Nick and Wilkin join her at the back of the procession.
The castle team from the previous day’s mission are next to be saved. That’s Amy, Kelley and Paudie.
The tension’s pretty – I don’t know – tense? The four remaining faithful look like they’ve won a weekend away with Freddie Kruger.
The next memorial plaque is read by Faye. And saves Joanna.
Ben, Christine and Faye are left.
As everyone returns to the castle, the three of them are lying in coffins. Coffins! Ah here, this is way over the top!
Brilliant though.
Paudie admits: "At one stage I thought I was actually at a funeral!"
Then. Another twist.
Siobhán asks Oyin to place a rose on the coffin of who she believes has been murdered.
I can’t look! I mean I can’t look away.
Nick follows. So does everyone else. Let’s cut to the corpse.
By the end, Ben had the most roses. "Have you guessed correctly?," Siobhán asks before delivering the deadly news.
After all, there's two grand at stake here.
"I can reveal that the person who has been cursed by the traitors and been murdered is... Christine."
Watch: Siobhán reveals who has been cursed by the Traitors
Tears.
Siobhán then calls for the lid to be placed on Christine’s coffin.
Just checking: This is still a game, right? Because that was murder.
One thing’s for sure – tonight’s Round Table is going to be explosive.
The Rowin’ Table
Before the Round Table, recriminations and reflections.
"I’m the bad guy," says Nick. "I do feel bad for what they went through, but you have to do it to win the game."
Faye is devastated and crying like an Oscar winner. "I need a cup of tea or something."
Ben is in Inspector Morse mode. He even looks at Nick. "I don’t know man!"
There’s a bit of Inspector Clouseau in there too, which is the glue that makes this show great.
The accusations are flying around like drunken insults at a wedding. But Nick’s working hard.
And so they gather . . . will they be focused enough to banish a traitor? Or will there be even more tears before bedtime?
Kelley reckons: "It’s important to gauge everyone’s reaction."
Paudie, meanwhile, feels fellow traitor Nick is untrustworthy. That’s a ‘yes’ then.
As they assemble at the Round Table, Siobhán points out that the pot wasn’t added to, making a murderous day worse.
Time to banish those blues . . .
Amy starts. She aims at Vanessa. Paudie blah, Eamon blah, even the odd ‘sorry’.
Kelley wonders "What is going on?" and points a finger at Vanessa.
The Vanessa pile on continues with Joanna. She then insists that Paudie’s her target.
Faye then picks Joanna as a prime suspect, who then hits back by implying that Faye could have been putting it on when she emotional during the whole coffin thing.
Then Oyin joins in, saying that Faye’s emotional outbursts "come from a place of guilt".
"It’s not guilt," Faye responds. "I’ve just lost my closest friend in here."
Ben says: "The three people I’m closest to are Nick, Faye and Vanessa . . . With Faye, if that was an act, it’s unbelievable."
Then he mentions Paudie, who reacts by pointing at Ben and Nick "working together".
Heads are getting wrecked. Paudie’s digging. But what is he digging? It could be his own grave.
Oyin chips in by aiming at Paudie. Eamon and Katelyn are mentioned. Paudie’s in the spotlight, big time.
Siobhán says: "The time for talking is over." You know what comes next.
Sorry Seems To Be The Only Word
Oyin is first. She picks Paudie. Then Joanna goes for Vanessa and Kelley follows suit. She’s "sorry".
Paudie votes for Nick.
Amy laughs, goes for Vanessa and – refreshingly – says: "I’m not sorry."
Nick’s turn. He returns Paudie’s serve.
Wilkin goes for Joanna. Another "sorry". Faye votes for Paudie. I’m really sorry," she says.
I say: banish the word ‘sorry’!
Vanessa also goes for Paudie. He’s now in the lead, one ahead of Vanessa. With just Ben’s vote to go.
He takes his time. He looks unsure. Will he be Inspector Morse or Inspector Clouseau?
It’s Paudie! He’s gone!
Siobhán calls Paudie up to say his final piece before banishment.
"There’s a lot I’d like to say," he tells them, before going through his family tree.
"I’m looking forward to seeing them all," he adds. "You mightn’t know my family, but you’ve met one of them. My son Andrew. And I am a traitor!"
Bedlam!
The faithful strike back after a bleak couple of days. Which leaves Nick on his lonesome in a conclave of one.
His next move will be interesting. It may also be obvious.
Meanwhile, he hams it up, circling the Round Table with his right arm in the air, shouting: "Oh my god!" several times.
Paudie Party Time!
With the longest surving traitor now banished – and his relationship with Andrew revealed - the mood is upbeat in the camp after a downer of a day.
"It’s been a good night for the faithful – and a good night for the traitors" says Nick, who looks in a strong position now. He’s also spinning like crazy.
"The most trustworthy person is Nick," says Faye. "And he’s always on the mark."
She’s going to be next, isn’t she?
Everyone heads back to their beds, while Nick gets out the lamp and cloak to nominate a new traitor whose only alternative is death.
"No more Paudie," he says. "He was gunning for me as much as I was gunning for him."
He thinks about his "best mate" Ben who he admits has his suspicions about Nick. "Ultimately it’s a game we’re trying to win and I just need to think about how I get to first prize.
"Who dares wins."
Is Ben done? Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until Sunday to find out.
The Traitors Ireland continues next Sunday at 9:30pm, Monday and ends on Tuesday at 9:35pm on RTÉ One and RTÉ Player, followed directly by The Traitors Ireland: Uncloaked on RTÉ One, except on Tuesday, when it's on RTÉ2.
