John Byrne recaps Monday's eighth episode of The Traitors Ireland, with the Death Row decider, some scary dolls - and a murder like we've never seen before. *Spoilers galore*
Don’t know about you, but this show has pretty much taken over my life.
The gas thing is that everyone I meet or talk to is hooked. Everyone. "I don’t watch reality shows but..." is a common response. The Traitors Ireland has really hit a nerve.
On Sunday night, we left off with Paudie choosing his next traitor/victim, while poor Joanna, Mark and Patrick are stewing on Death Row.
Wondering if they’ll ever again have breakfast at Slane Castle.
Showbiz, eh? It’s not everyone's cup of tea.
The Nick of Time
And so it comes to pass that Nick has been summoned to meet Paudie, with an offer of either becoming a Traitor or being murdered.
"It had to come at some point," Nick says to the camera, obviously not to happy with this turn of events. "I maybe hoped for another night or two. Get me slightly closer to the end."
Watch: Will Nick join Paudie as a Traitor?
Nick reluctantly accepts Paudie’s, eh, 'offer’. Should be interesting to see how he plays things now, given he’s been the gobbiest Faithful of them all.
"A little bit earlier than I wanted," he adds. "But why not?"
He adds: "I just nicknamed my self a Traitor slayer - I’m a Faithful slayer now."
That’s the spirit! So, on to breakfast, where Nick will have plenty to chew on...
Breakfast on a Roll
Nick and Oyin are first to arrive. Nick is obviously nervous about hamming it up too much and making himself a target.
Ben, Christine and Vanessa are next. Ben reckons the Faithful are being "fed" Traitors by the real mastermind. Paudie’s going to get a swelled head if he hears this!
Talking of Paudie, he’s among the next group to arrive. Christine is quick to start pointing fingers.
Faye arrives solo – it's her birthday and everyone sings "Happy birthday" to her. That's her as good as banished tonight.
The debate continues as Patrick gets a mention or two.
Joanna is next to arrive. Then Patrick. It means Mark’s been murdered!
Cut back to last night and Nick points out the danger Mark offers. Despite his earlier misgivings, he’s adapting quite easily to the Traitor role.
Watch: It's game over for Mark
He tells Paudie: "He’s the person that we have to murder." Paudie agrees.
"I could see that coming," says Mark after he opens his murder notice. "Great game."
He’s glad that he never crossed over to the dark side. "I didn’t have to lie or pretend," he says. "I got to be me... No regrets."
Back at the breakfast table, Nick is spinning and pointing in Patrick’s direction.
Then Siobhán comes in, with a mission on her mind. "How is your phone manners?" she asks, rather cryptically.
That’s Doll, folks!
Before the mission, the chat and accusations continue. Ben’s in the thick of it. Then Joanna looks at Faye. And what about Christine? Patrick as a Traitor "is a given," Joanna reckons.
Meanwhile, Siobhán orders three coffins. Then asks the group about scary dolls.
Split into two teams, one remains at the castle, while the others must head to the forest to get sounds, relay them back by phone to the castle team, who must then match the sounds up to dolls dotted around the castle.
Sounds nuts!
Then Siobhán mentions a shield.
30 very confusing minutes later – I've long admitted to myself that I would be rubbish on these missions – the castle crew managed to match the sounds to the dolls, and earned €3,000.
Oh, and in the middle of it all, Vanessa found the shield. Nice! She’s guaranteed a good night’s sleep.
Let’s Twist Again! Again!
The team that remained at the castle decide that they’re not going to reveal to the other team that Vanessa got the shield. It’s a nice twist that’s sure to increase tension.
Faye, who was part of the forest team admits: "It’s not really an ideal situation – but it is what it is."
Meanwhile, Traitors Nick and Paudie plot. Elsewhere, the debates continue.
"It really feels like we’re back at square one," Vanesa concedes. "I’m leaning towards Patrick, my eyes are on Faye, Paudie’s also in there somewhere.
"And I don’t really think anybody else has a clue what they’re doing either."
Which suggests that the first to get thrown under the bus at the Round Table will probably remain there and get banished.
Or will they?
As Siobhán arrives to kick off the Round Table debate, she informs the group that the total earned so far now stands at €26,900.
But whoever gets the boot won’t share the loot.
Turning Tables
Joanna gets the banishment ball rolling. She aims at Faye. "We all ask ourselves why was Christine put on Death Row?," she says. "I do think that Andy was being recruited, because I don’t think he’d be so stupid to put three people that were against him in it.
"And then Christine was just kind of an odd person [to choose], so I just thought it has to be somebody who’s close to her and who’s going to save her."
Faye responds: "When Christine got picked, I told everyone I was going to look out for her... If I was a Traitor, I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to plead her case."
Then Vanessa joins in. "I did suspect you today as well," she told Faye.
Amy was next, asking Faye: "Please don’t take offence " before linking her with Eamon, the first Traitor to get banished.
Blimey! Faye’s a popular choice amongst the girls. So what about the guys?
Ben takes a swipe at Patrick, who responds with logic, talking about what he considers to be probable or possible.
"So, Nick," he says, leaning into the probable side of his arguement. "Nick said earlier that if there weren’t any other ideas, he was going to float a possibility about me.
"And I’m really surprised that you’re going in that direction versus the probability of the clues that you mentioned already."
There then follows a debate about Paudie and Andrew mimicking Nick’s ripping up of the traitor invitation he received two nights before – which seems a very long time ago now.
Patrick is pushing Nick, who asks him: "Are you saying I’ve been recruited or blackmailed?"
There’s a stop-the-clock moment when Patrick responds with: "Possibly both."
Ben thinks Patrick "slipped through" as the back and forth continues until Christine changes the train on the track.
"I’m so sorry Wil, to do this to you," she says to Wilkin, recalling him picking her out several days earlier. More back and forth.
Paudie pipes in and aims at Patrick, who throws it back at him.
Oyin then asks Paudie about him mixing with departed Traitors Eamon and Katelyn, but he defends himself impressively. He’s really on top of his game here as a Traitor. I’m almost believing him!
As the debate ends, Joanna encourages Oyin to go for Wilkin.
Where there’s a Wil there’s a Way
Siobhán invites the players to make their choices for banishment and invites Oyin to get the banishment ball rolling...
"I’m sorry Patrick," she says. "I voted for you."
Oyin may have ignored Joanna, but she went ahead and voted for Wilkin. Patrick went the same way. Kellie admits she finds it all "so confusing" but also chooses Wilkin.
"Nothing’s changed," says Paudie as he puts in his daily vote for Patrick. Amy follows suit with another "sorry" which must be a source of great comfort for Patrick.
Nick puts Patrick in the lead. But it doesn’t last long as Christine votes for Wilkin. All square. It’s another two horse race and no mistake.
Wilkin’s up next. No surprise, he votes Patrick back into the lead.
It’s noticeable how little’s been said now as the voting continues.
Watch: it's home time for another Faithful
Faye is next. "Sorry Patrick, it’s you." Vanessa twists the knife, while apologising, "because I really enjoyed chatting to you."
Ben is equally sorry - "Lovely man, loved chatting to you" - but adds the final nail in Patrick’s coffin.
Have to say I’m gutted. Patrick was a real pain in the arse – but he was a brilliantly entertaining one too. His departure will make the Round Tables a lot less fun.
Joining Siobhán, he tells the remaining players: "What a blast! One thing nobody can take away is the fact that I was part of the crew that went three in a row.
"Unfortunately, your streak is broken," he adds. "I’m a Faithful."
And with that, pontificating Patrick departs.
The euphoria of the last three nights is replaced by despondency. The faithful have banished one of their own.
"Another Faithful has fallen," says Siobhán. "So disappointed as you were on such a roll. But how many more need to leave the castle to see what is going on right in front of your eyes?"
Ben tries to rally the troops before they leave the Round Table. Not everyone’s unhappy.
A grinning Paudie admits to the camera: "Maybe I’m enjoying it too much!"
As they meet up in various corners of the castle, Faye says: "I’m stunned! What have I done?"
Joanna tells Faye that she’s sorry for going for her at the Round Table. "It’s just a theory," she says. That theory could come back to haunt her.
Murder in Plain Sight
"I fancy a change tonight," Siobhán says to the camera. "The Traitors will not meet in the conclave."
Cut to Nick returning to his room, where there’s a letter. He reads it out.
"Dear traitors, tonight you must murder in plain sight by placing an ancient Irish curse, or piseog, on the Faithful you would like to become your next kill.
"The book of piseogs is on a shelf in the library. You must then meet as a group to decide the next target. The deed must be done before the clock chime."
Nick admits to being "nervous" but adds: "No better two lads to get it done – so let’s go!"
But once he’s back in the company of Faithfuls, Nick wonders how the task can be undertaken without being caught.
Watch: Nick hugs Christine to death on The Traitors Ireland
Once Ben leaves his company, Nick goes for it. But doesn’t make it. Then himself and Paudie are left alone, so they go for it as a double act.
Meanwhile, the girls are chatting away, oblivious. This is so tense I’m getting cramps in my arms and legs. I can only imagine how Nick feels. Paudie is fearless now.
Nick finds the book, and then the particular piseog. The victim must be given a farewell hug, "delivered at any time, in plain sight" and must be done – as we already know – before the clock chimes.
Paudie’s not amused when Nick informs him of the required deed. He uses the word that’s as popular as ‘sorry’ and begins with the letter f. "I’m not a f***in’ hugger," he adds.
Nick’s on his effin' own here.
They debate who should get the hug of death. Ben returns and Nick departs, coming back with some of the girls, including Faye. Surely he’s not going to murder the birthday girl?
Then he hugs Christine.
The Traitors Ireland continues every Sunday at 9:30pm, Monday and Tuesday at 9:35pm on RTÉ One and RTÉ Player, followed directly by The Traitors Ireland: Uncloaked on RTÉ One, except on Tuesdays, when it's on RTÉ2.
