EastEnders star Rudolph Walker has revealed that he was homeless and "had absolutely nothing" while at the height of his fame.
The 84-year-old actor, who is best known for playing Patrick Trueman on the British soap, said he "didn't have any financial means" while he was in his 70s and "nowhere to live".
Speaking to the Daily Mirror, he said: "It was painful. It was extremely difficult.
"I just didn’t have any financial means. I was literally starting from scratch again in my 70s, with nowhere to live.
"It was a time of great pain and loneliness."
The paper reports that Walker’s money problems started in the mid-2010s.
Walker said: "Some days on my way to the studio, I would pull up at the side of the road, have a cry.
"I’d pull myself together, arrive at the studio and the environment would act as a tonic, and I was ready to go. I suppose it was a sort of double life."
Speaking about Diane Parish, who plays Denise Fox on the programme, he said: "Diane knew there was something going on, but I never revealed the depth of what was happening."
He added that he was driven to "utter despair" after having to stay in a cheap hotel.
"There was a wash basin, small bed, and a TV in the corner, with a communal shower and toilet in the corridor", he said.
"I sat on the bed and cried. Questions of 'Who am I? Why am I in this position?’ There was no way the public watching me as Patrick every other night were aware that was what was happening."
He added: "There is something in me from childhood that has said, ‘I will survive’, like Gloria Gaynor said in the song.
"Regardless of how difficult things are, regardless of how little I have, I will survive.
"I came from a background where I had very little, so when I had absolutely nothing – even at the height of fame – I had that resilience, that will to survive."
He added: "I know today, people will go to a psychiatrist, seek help, and maybe I should have done, but I was getting it with the people that I had around me."
"I am where I am today because of decisions I made over the years.
"Am I happy with where I am today? Yes, I’m extremely happy. Maybe someone, the old man up there, is looking after me."
Walker, who was made a CBE for services to drama and charity in the 2020 New Year Honours list, joined EastEnders in 2001 and is also known for his role as Bill Reynolds in 1970s' sitcom Love Thy Neighbour, where his character lived next door to a racist.
His memoir, Walking With Dignity, is to be released later in the month.
Source: Press Association
