Victoria Mary Clarke has admitted that she worried about Shane MacGowan's death for "at least 35 years" because he "pushed the boundaries of what humans can do to their bodies".
The Pogues frontman, best known for classic Christmas hit song Fairytale Of New York, died last week at the age of 65.
Clarke told ITV’s Good Morning Britain: "I don’t think Shane would mind too much if Fairytale goes to number one.
"I don’t think it was ever that important to him, because I think that he really appreciated the fact that so many people love it and it means so much to so many people, and being number one isn’t really all about being appreciated."
Asked how she felt about the song when she first heard it before it was released, she said: "I think I might have thought it was a little bit cheesy at the time.
"Sometimes these songs did seem a bit cheesy, but then, when you heard them properly, you get it, you know?
"I often criticised his songwriting, which didn’t go down too well. I do love it now."
Fairytale Of New York features a duet between English singer Kirsty MacColl - who died in December 2000 - and MacGowan.
It was originally written by MacGowan with fellow Pogues founder Jem Finer.
The song has returned to the UK Christmas top 40 every year since 2005.
Discussing their relationship, Clarke said MacGowan always supported her in all her endeavours, adding: "I loved standing on the side of the stage watching him. It wasn't always easy, as you will know, because he pushed the boundaries and he was reckless and he was very unconventional.
"So it was like watching a racing driver and not knowing if they were going to crash, watching him going on stage."
MacGowan had been diagnosed with encephalitis following his latest bout of ill-health and after years of alcohol and substance abuse.
Clarke continued: "I think for most of you watching, the biggest fear you probably have is that you’re going to lose a loved one.
"And it’s going to happen, you can’t really get around that, you all are going to lose a loved one.
"And I know that, for me, I spent many, many years, probably at least 35 years, worrying about losing Shane because he just pushed the boundaries so much of what humans can do to their bodies.
"So I dreaded that, and I thought that I would fall apart, I thought I would die, I thought I would not be able to speak, I thought I’d be comatose or on drugs myself or something like that.
"So I just want you all to know that it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be. And there’s a huge amount of love that comes your way when you lose someone, that you didn’t really expect. And in my case, you know, I’ve been overwhelmed by how much love and support there is."
Clarke said the outpouring of love for MacGowan after his death has been a welcome surprise and, asked how he would feel about it, she added: "Me and Shane, we spent most of our lives in recent years sitting at home watching The Crown.
"We didn’t really go out, so we didn’t know what was going on in the outside world very much.
"We had a very quiet life, very, very happy, and we didn’t want anything else. We just wanted to sit here together watching telly.
"But to know now that there’s all these people out there who feel so strongly about him, you lose with one hand, but you receive with the other, there’s an equal and opposite sort of reaction."
Source: Press Association
