To tweak the old line just a bit: To whom it concerns, it's The Late Late Show and here is your new host, Patrick Kielty.
So, white smoke has finally billowed forth from the Montrose chimney and RTÉ has announced the twinkly, telegenic, and very smart 52-year-old Co Down funny man as the fourth regular host of the longest running chat show in TV history.
Despite speculation that it "had to be a woman", momentum seemed to be building around Kielty, particularly after Miriam O'Callaghan, Claire Byrne and Sarah McInerney all ruled themselves out of the race.
The announcement of Kielty's new gig brings to an end the rumour mill churn about who should replace Ryan Tubridy on the hottest seat on Irish TV.
As soon as Ryan announced last March that he would be stepping down from the high dais of Irish chat, the media has been going clickbait happy, splashing headlines about his possible replacement.
The latest? After their appearance on last night's Late Late, one newspaper hyped Vogue Williams and Joanna McNally as an ideal duo to front the show.
Over the past few months, it seemed that if you were spotted wandering within a yard of the hot seat or having a coffee in the RTÉ canteen, you were in with a chance.
This may all seem like frivolous stuff, but The Late Late Show is a TV programme that has always been far more than a mere chat show. It certainly flaunts the rules of a hackneyed format and can often seem like a cross between a celeb love-in, a Blue Peter show-and-tell, and a serious current affairs discussion.
It is certainly an oddity in a modern and very fractured media landscape but one glance at the ratings and you will see that despite plummeting TV viewing for all TV shows over the past ten years in particular, the good ship Late Late still holds a place in the great Irish viewing public’s affections.
Or not. Many people switch on at 9.30pm on a Friday just to get annoyed, lament that "it hasn’t been the same since Gay Byrne’s day" and then promptly go back to channel surfing.
Some media pundits also warned that RTÉ's bottom line was being adversely affected as advertisers could get cold feet the longer the search for a new host rumbled on.
Into this debate about the future of the chat show as a TV perennial waltzes Kielty, a man well used to performing in front of live audiences and indeed a man well used to hosting a chat show, having presented Patrick Kielty Almost Live on BBC Northern Ireland from 1999 to 2003.
Kielty is very at ease with himself, a polished performer with nearly 30 years of TV experience and he will certainly have his own ideas about the future direction of The Late Late Show.
He is married to fellow TV presenter Cat Deeley and they have two children and are based in the UK. The couple have hinted about a move to Ireland in recent weeks but in this brave new world of Zoom conference calls, might he work with the show's research team and producers online and then flip over to Dublin on a Thursday to go live on Friday night?
Or - and this may well sound blasphemous - might we even see The Late Late Show become a pre-recorded affair? After all, that is how Graham Norton and Jonathan Ross do it. Polished in the editing suite, could we be looking at a sleeker animal when the LLS returns next September.
Perish the thought? Well, in recent years, Tubridy has pre-recorded interviews with numerous guests, including Bruce Springsteen and Hillary Clinton. It is the message after all and not the format. The current host himself has suggested that the show should be shortened, and its marathon 37-week run be cut back to a more manageable workload.
Either way and whatever changes Mr Kielty may usher in, The Late Late Show will remain very hard work indeed. The trick, as always, is making it look easy.
That doesn't look like it's going to be a problem for the man from Dundrum, Co Down. He is a safe pair of hands, but he will face a lot of challenges as the future of the chat show itself is debated by some.
He has always been an unflappable customer. Asked by RTÉ Entertainment on the IFTA red carpet recently how he would handle constant media criticism and, indeed, criticisms from passersbys on the street, he said: "Look I’m Irish, I know how to give as good as I get."
He also said: "I think The Late Late Show is one of the greatest TV shows on the planet, and whoever gets it is going to be really lucky.
"But I think something that maybe hasn't been said: I've done chat shows before, I know how difficult they are.
"I've been a guest on The Late Late Show, and I've sat alongside Ryan doing his stuff, and whoever gets that gig, they're going to have huge shoes to fill."
Just as Pat Kenny and Ryan Tubridy had huge shoes to fill but Kielty will not try to follow Gay as a father confessor to the nation or take Tubs charming Fred Rogers approach - a confidant and comforter as the world turns real ugly - but play to his strengths as a comedian who knows how to stay on the right side of irreverent.
Maybe he will be more like the US chat show hosts and bring a far more light-hearted and gently ribbing flair to Friday night proceedings. Whether this could mean the show drops its format of celeb love-in, followed by human-interest story, followed by a debate about the big question of the day, remains to be seen.
As Jim Jennings, RTÉ's Director of Content, says: "We have very definite ideas for the show already in the works and we'll be busy behind the scenes shaping the series for launch. We'll be back in August to tell you all about it."
Neither will the Late Late's biggest show of the year, the Toy Show, present any problems for Kielty. He has two children with Deeley, Milo, who is six, and James, who is four, and he will be well used to cajoling, indulging, and entertaining young audiences.
On Toy Show night, Gay was a mix of consumer affairs journalist and slightly put-upon uncle at Christmas, Pat Kenny was only interested in the gadgets, and Tubs was always the biggest kid on the set. Kielty will milk maximum fun from the whole mad thing in his own inimitable way.
That's not to say he can't do heavy stories. There is another side to Patrick Kielty too.
Anyone who saw his quietly devastating interview on the Tommy Tiernan Show earlier this year when he spoke about the day his 44-year-old father Jack was shot dead by loyalist paramilitaries in 1988 when Patrick was just 16 will know that he has a sharp mind as well as a quick tongue.
Speaking about his new TV role, Kielty says: "I’m absolutely thrilled to be the next host of The Late Late Show. To follow in the footsteps of Gay, Pat and Ryan as the next custodian is a real honour and I can’t thank RTÉ enough for giving me the chance to be a part of the next chapter of such an iconic show.
"I'm also genuinely humbled to become part of Friday nights for so many Irish people, at home and around the world. I can't wait to get started on one of the greatest jobs in television."
It's a tough gig ahead for Kielty, but this all-rounder may well make The Late Late Show vital Friday night viewing all over yet again.
Alan Corr @CorrAlan2
