America Ferrera admits she couldn't enjoy her history-making Emmy Awards win because she didn't think she had ''earned'' it and was convinced people felt she didn't ''deserve'' her success.
The 36-year-old Ugly Betty star became the first Latina to win a Lead Actress prize at the prestigious ceremony when she took home the Lead Actress in a Comedy Series statuette for her work on the popular show in 2007.
Speaking on the Armchair Expert podcast, Ferrera admits she was convinced no one in the room felt she ''deserved'' the accolade.
''When I won the Emmy, I can't bring myself to watch that because the only thing I remember about being on that stage, accepting that Emmy, was the feeling that no one in the room thought I deserved it. And that's a shame.
''[I was thinking] 'She doesn't really deserve that. What is she really doing in that role? That role is not interesting enough, it's not dark enough, it's not edgy enough.' You know, all of the bullsh**t.
''Which doesn't enter your mind on its own. There were people in my life perpetuating those narratives and making me feel like I hadn't earned this moment. ''When I look back at that time, my heart aches for that 22-year-old girl, who didn't get to really enjoy those moments.''
The new mum admits that while she loved her time on the sitcom, it was a very ''challenging'' and "exhausting" period in her life.
''I loved this character, loved this world... to have a feeling of this character and this story so needed in the culture right now. I just have a gut instinct that's it's going to speak so strongly to so many people, myself included, and to see that happen? That's the best win ever.
''It was maybe the hardest work I'll ever do in my life but I loved it. The hoopla and the whirlwind that happened around it was challenging and exhausting. My whole life changed... On one hand, it's what an amazing experience... but there was so much drama and so many challenging things happening in my personal life.''
Ferrera, who has son Sebastian, 23 months, and one-week-old Lucia with husband Ryan Piers Williams, said she is wiser now and know her own self worth.
''I now know my value, and I know I'm a badass... There will always be more for me, because it's coming from inside of me. And I'm not looking for other people to validate me.''
