Irish broadcaster and actress Laura Whitmore has revealed she suffered a miscarriage last year, weeks after discovering she was pregnant.
The 34-year-old Bray native penned a personal essay for Hot Press magazine in which she detailed her shock at discovering she was expecting her first child, the difficulty hiding her pregnancy, and the moment the doctor told her the baby didn't have a heartbeat during a scan.
Whitmore, who is in a relationship with Scottish comedian and Love Island narrator Iain Sterling, said she found out she was pregnant last year while in Italy for a job.
Then 33, the TV star admitted she was worried about how having a baby could impact on her "constant state of movement" and her "sense of identity".
"Would I be good enough as a mother?", she asked herself.
The former MTV presenter said that the hardest part of her early pregnancy was trying to hide the fact that she wasn't drinking. After confirming her pregnancy at the doctors, she attended the GQ Awards in London.
"I wore a little black dress and super stilettos (I mean I may as well enjoy it while I can!). I didn't want my life to change. I can still be fun Laura and pregnant. Can’t I?", she wrote in the piece.
At 12 weeks, she met with a midwife to discuss her birth options and scheduled her first scan for another two weeks as "that was the earliest we could get."
Whitmore said that during the scan she could see "the outline of what looked like a jelly baby".
However, the doctor then informed her "there's no heart-beat".
She said she was unsure how to react, writing: "Should I cry? Was I allowed be emotional for something unplanned?"
Whitmore continued: "I hadn't planned the pregnancy in the first place, so should I be sad? I was. That feeling was heightened because I felt I had to be sad alone: apart from a handful of people, no one knew.
"I had to deal with high intensity work situations without anyone around me knowing what was really going on inside my head. Although maybe that made it easier to deal with – because I wasn’t actually dealing with it."
The Irish TV star concluded that she now realises she does want to have children and "that so many women battle things in silence."
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article you can contact The Miscarriage Association of Ireland:
Web: www.miscarriage.ie
Phone: 01 873 5702
Email: info@miscarriage.ie
