EastEnders actor Danny Dyer has said he was "slowly committing suicide" and became a "parody" of himself during a dark time in his life.
The actor said his lifestyle reached a point where he thought he was going to die, and he hated himself for his habits.
Dyer told the i newspaper in Britain that he was smoking crack to properly perform on stage, incurring the wrath of his concerned friend, the late playwright Harold Pinter.
The actor, now starring as Mick Carter in BBC soap EastEnders, admitted becoming a parody of his own persona.
He said: "I was in such a dark place, I was slowly committing suicide. I had no hope, I hated myself, couldn't look in the mirror for more than five seconds. It just repulsed me, what was looking back.
"It got to a point where I thought I was going to die - I don't think I'm going to wake up."
Speaking about his public image, Dyer added: "I think about 10 years ago, I was a bit of a laughing stock, and I created a lot of that myself. I became a parody of myself. Whatever that means."
The actor, who made nightclub appearances after acting roles dried up, said his current role on EastEnders saved his career.