Ah, love! Cruel, fickle, funny and, as First Dates Ireland proved on Thursday night, also great TV
As if to prove that love is lovelier the second time around, First Dates Ireland has returned and it’s bigger and longer (oooer) than ever - that’s more eavesdropping cameras, more loved-up singletons and an even closer, beady-eyed look at those sometimes cringe-worthy but mostly lovely blind date moments.
Our Maître D’ of romance Mateo Saina is back as the suited and booted cupid who puts our daters at ease alongside barman Ethan Miles and waitress Alice Marr. With Peter Campion providing that smooth as silk voice over, it's time to take the lift of love up to the love loft (OK, a fancy restaurant down by the 3Arena in Dublin) for the first episode in new extended run of one of the most watchable shows on Irish TV.
That’s if our singletons can figure out how to use the front door. It proved a real challenge to several of them on Thursday night. Anyway, ladies, mind your hashtags - there are spies in the house of love!
Lauren and Paddy were totes adorable
First up is smiley media student Lauren and her “award-winning charm”.
The 19-year-old from Kildare is on her very first date (blind or otherwise) and if she’s nervous, she’s hiding it well. Her match is fellow dating novice, Paddy, a 19-year-old from Meath who is quaking with trepidation.
Asked how long he has been single, he replies, “My life.” Bless!
Paddy is a nice lad and a bit of a comedian. He does, however, have a bad case of foot in mouth disease and is prone to say the first thing that comes into his head. He meets Lauren and what follows is a lot of “oh gods” and embarrassed sighs.
After early nerves (lots of nerves), Paddy and Lauren are finally hitting it off. He proves scarily good at guessing her favourite TV show (Breaking Bad), singer (Ed Sheeran), and, most importantly, crisps (Monster Munch). This boy’s a mind reader. That or he’s bribed one of the First Dates researchers.
After a choppy, squirm-in-your seat start, this fine young couple could be set to steal the hearts of the whole country.
UPDATE! Paddy took Lauren on a 2nd date once Lauren was feeling better. He guessed she'd enjoy the zoo! He was right...again #FirstDatesIRL pic.twitter.com/Dtq3ZZovdw
— RTÉ2 (@RTE2) January 19, 2017
And that's the beauty of First Dates Ireland; if one couple isn’t quite satisfying our voyeuristic urges, there are plenty more where they came from.
Rachel keeps it country
And so we met uber glam, tattooed country-obsessed Rachael from Tyrone.
In fact, the 29-year-old is so country obsessed that, aged 17, she visited Nashville, met a Stetson-wearing guitar player and married him. After dating him for three weeks.
Rachael's date was the very quiet and very dishy Conor, a carpenter from Swords in Dublin with a bad one-year itch. “It’s a commitment thing.” he sighs.
Within minutes of making each other’s acquaintance, a cross border (hard or otherwise) romance is already brewing.
He’s got a thing for girls in skinny jeans and high heels (bingo!) and he also loves watching the Dubs in action at the weekend.
He and Rachael get on like a barn on fire. In fact, they’ve organised their second date within minutes of meeting each other - watching the Dubs in action at the weekend.
Watch out - there's a Cork Dynamo in the house
Medical scientist Sinead is 28 and from Cork. She is 5” 1’ - most of which is legs.
“I’m like a hurricane coming through. Make way!” she says. Sinead is paired with 28-year-old Antonio, a Latin lothario (OK, he’s from Portugal) who lives in Dublin. The Cork dynamo confesses she has been single for eight years and that this is her first ever date.
But Antonio proved he’s quite the charmer and he seals the deal with a cheeky kiss (and what sounded like a nasty tooth bash).
Beware of First Date food dilemmas
Then there was another hopeful on the way up in the elevator of Eros (OK, that’s quite enough of that - Ed). Urban planner Conor is 22, from Dublin and he confesses that he likes women with “exotic, natural looks”. He’s not asking for much so but he has hit the jackpot with Delia.
She’s a French/Irish part-time model from Dublin with an air of intrigue about her.
He is clearly smitten within seconds but acts very cool in a Fonzie way. She reckons he has “pretty eyes.”
Watch First Dates Ireland extras on the RTÉ Player
Oh, and while we’re here: First Dates Ireland tip: do not order the posh burger. It’s a handful which, in a rare display of bad table manners, proved Paddy’s undoing.
Back at Rachael and Conor’s table, by the time dessert arrives, she’s actually spoon feeding him. The strong, silent Dub and the Tyrone lass have well and truly clicked.
Conor (the one with the pretty eyes) clicked with the exotic and very natural Delia. They are, as the kids, say adorable.
The dreaded friend-zoing was painful to watch
Then we had a new arrival in the very dapper shape of 34-year-old Clareman and gym bunny Timmie. He’s all manicured facial hair, nice suit and muscles and he really does have a very big welcome for himself. Personal groomer Timmie considers himself a “good catch” and while he does hit the gym three times a week, he assures us that “It’s not a self esteem issue. I just like to walk into a room and for people to go, ooohhh!” So that’s OK then.
All you need to know about the new season of First Dates Ireland
Other gems from Timmie include: “When people look at me they think they see an alpha male but what I actually am is a princess.” He also confuses the watercress in his soup for shamrocks.
Timmie’s date is the more down to earth Richard. He’s a 43-year-old engineer from Letterkenny who may be the only gay in the village. “Being single in the North West has been interesting.” he avers.
The civilised and highly-intelligent Richard is un-waveringly polite and patient with the rather self-absorbed Timmie.
Over in Timmie World, it’s time for Richard to drop a bombshell. He reveals that he had been married for 10 years and only came out when he was 39. A gobsmacked Timmie nearly chokes on his shamrocks at the news. Alas it is not to be for the engineer and the personal groomer.
During the cringe-worthy reveal at the end of their date, Richard is very keen but Timmie isn’t and they get separate taxis home. Ouch! Here's hoping there's a second date for poor Richard.
First Dates Ireland is very entertaining stuff - a great mix of the voyeuristic, the cringe-worthy and the cute. It is also very well made and slickly edited (at one point on Thursday night, we abruptly cut to a large cucumber being chopped in half when someone says something a tad un-PC. Ouch!).
If you want to get all fancy about it, you might even say this show provides a neat sociological study of modern Ireland. But who really cares about that? See you next week. Maybe by then our singletons will have figured out how to open the door.
Alan Corr @CorrAlan
