As the Irish version of Come Dine With Me heats up Alan Corr talks to the real star of the show – catty narrator Dave Lamb
Despite his foodie name, Dave Lamb doesn’t cook. In fact, David Lamb won’t cook. He will, however, provide sarcastic, mealy-mouthed commentary on those foolhardy enough to throw a dinner party and invite the viewing public along to wince and wonder at their skills as chefs and hosts.
A veteran of sitcoms and sketch shows including Goodness Gracious Me and Armstrong and Miller and an in-demand voiceover artist, the 42-year-old Londoner started providing the catty commentary for Come Dine With Me when it launched in 2005 and he’s had a bellyful of squabbles, burnt meringues and drunken behaviour. He’s also the funniest thing about the hit culinary clash show.
Dave’s in Dublin to hype up the new TV3 version of the show. The night before we meet, the people from Londis, who’ve brought him over to talk food wars, took him to a restaurant where the customers cook their own dinner and no, he did not provide a running commentary.
Do the Irish dinner guests on CDMW have better table manners than their British counterparts?
“I think they do to be honest. Doing the show here has been quite a warm experience. Everyone was really up for it because quite often in England you get people being miserable and hating the experience. Everyone seemed to really go for it here and because it’s on later in the day they’re allowed it to be a little edgier.”
Ireland is not known for its culinary expertise, even less so than the England, so was there lots of spuds, cabbage and bacon been served up?
“There was a bit of that. There was some Quorn schnitzel and I believe someone attempted stilton ice cream. Interesting – a pudding and the cheese course all in one. Some pig cheeks were served with some hair some on them. I think that was in Cork. It wasn’t the gentleman’s finest hour.”
Throwing a dinner party is a fraught enough experience but why do you think people put themselves through it with a camera crew and a tv audience?
“I do not know. I think people do it to say they’ve been on television. Some people have an agenda, they want to educate people about what fine dining is. They have an axe to grind or they’re keen on manners and they want to explain to everybody how they should be sitting. Those people always come a bit of a cropper.”
Is it true that you were once approached by a member of the public to name your price to sit in the corner at their dinner party and provide a running commentary?
“Yes! I wouldn’t do it because I think it would be humiliating for everybody, mainly me. It would be embarrassing to sit in a room full of people you didn’t know. Come Dine With Me works because it is incredibly thought through, the editing process, the script is written, it’s all spot on. If you’re commentating live it would be rubbish.”
A lot of people will be disappointed to learn that you don’t write the scripts and that there’s less scope for improvisation now . . .
“In the early days of the show I improvised a lot more because we were establishing the house style and now everybody knows what the style is so the writers write to the style and I don’t have to improvise much anymore.”
A lot material is left on the editing room floor. What about reheating the leftovers for a late night version of the show?
“We have to leave stuff out like when people get so drunk they’re not making sense. It takes the crew ages sometimes to get the taxi ride scene at the end because people are so all over the place. There is a lot of drunkenness and we have to edit out a lot of the arguments.”
Did everyone get drunk on the Irish version?
“I think everyone who’s ever been on Come Dine With Me gets drunk. The Irish were no more drunk than their English counterparts.”
Are you that catty in real life?
“That’s the thing. I’m not at all catty in real life so doing the show is quite cathartic. I’m just very nice. I go in to the recording booth and sight read the script. Sometimes I miss my cues because I’m watching the programme too closely, getting engrossed.”
You can’t cook but your wife is a qualified chef. Do you watch the show with her?
“I used to but I’ve now done too much and I can’t watch it. I often do the show three days a week and to then come home and watch it, I think would be insane.”
Are there plans for more celebrity episodes?
“Yes and we’d also like to do a celebrity Irish one with Jedward cooking as a pair.”
