Wagons' Den is the latest show from the one-woman gang that is Katherine Lynch. The RTÉ Guide’s Donal O’Donoghue meets the mouth from Mohill.
"I can’t deal with rules at all", says Katherine Lynch, comedienne, writer, wild woman, rule-bender and anxious interviewee. You’d never guess the latter, especially if you’re familiar with Lynch’s brash TV alter egos such as Singing Bernie Walsh or belly-dancing Sheila Sheik or camán wielding Liz Hurley. But Lynch, who made her name on the Dublin gay scene and forged her fortune on TV is, despite her reputation and fashion accessories (today that is black nail polish, a big heart-shaped ring on one finger, sunglasses perched on head and a fascinator peaking around her left ear), surprisingly low-key. "I hate talking about myself", she says but that’s OK, because with her new show, 'Wagon’s Den', Lynch will be talking about other people.
With Sheila Sheik in the hot seat (and hot pants), 'Wagons' Den' will round up the week’s gossip and ride roughshod over two-bit celebrities. In this, SS will be joined by two fellow wranglers in an all-female mewling session, except for 'honorary wagon', Brian Dowling and 'a token bloke' who is the hot totty for the ladies. Sounds, well, very Katherine Lynch, but for the fearless performer, who famously chased Cristiano Ronaldo across Carton House and hijacked the Rose of Tralee festival, this new show is giving her sleepless nights (and days). 'Wagons’ Den' is a venture into the unknown, virgin territory for someone who has done it all. "It is going to be fun, it’s candy floss TV and it’s not rocket science", says Lynch, covering her angles. "But it’s a departure for me and it is scary. But that’s the risk you take."
Taking risks is the name of the Lynch game. Her previous shows, 'Katherine Lynch’s Working Girls', 'Katherine Lynch’s Wonderwomen' and 'Katherine Lynch’s Single Ladies' (yes, they all starred Katherine Lynch), took familiar types (the C&W singer, the GAA fanatic) beyond the cringe. All were WAKA TV productions (named after its founders WArren Meyler and KAtherine Lynch) but 'Wagons' Den' is a co-production with RTÉ. This is good, because it relieves WAKA of the logistics but not so good because Lynch hates being fenced in by rules or regulations. This is nothing new. On the day of her Leaving Cert results (bright spark Kathy bagged a number of honours), she theatrically ripped the certificate into confetti in front of the main doors of the school. "I will never be dictated to by this piece of paper", she declared before tossing all into the air. So what did her mother say to all this carry-on? "She said 'you’re dead right Kate!'", she says and laughs.
Lynch hails from Mohill in County Leitrim. "From the Crooked Lane, although I call it the Dump Road because the dump is at the end of the road", says the woman, who’s not afraid of calling a spade something you use to dig up the ground. Her father, Tomás (from Dingle) was involved with the Scór, the GAA organisation that promotes cultural activities, and wrote six-minute sketches for the children and adults. This proved a very useful training ground for the budding performer. "One time one of the judges described my sketch as being lewd, crude and rude and I thought 'Wahay, I’ve made it!'" Her mother, Maureen, who has played Bernie Walsh’s mum on TV, also encouraged her to paddle her own canoe. "When she’d hear me singing in the bathroom, she used to say to me, 'did you ever think of joining a punk band Kate'", she says. "I always wanted to become an actress but instead I became a hairdresser."
Following that dramatic Leaving Cert statement, Lynch crimped and saved for a number of years as a hairdresser. She loved the work but loathed the salon small talk. "I’d go home and sit in silence for an hour or so or read a book or whatever", she says. During work breaks, she’d read Shakespeare and dream of becoming an actress. Then, when her boss wouldn’t allow her to work as an extra in a Channel 4 documentary that was being shot locally, she just walked out. But her career-defining act of rebellion was winning the Alternative Miss Ireland competition in 1998.
At the time, Lynch was working in a late-night Dublin café, Small Talk, which was more a speakeasy (whiskey in the tea-pots) than a tea and buns establishment. She was also attending Bull Alley School of Acting before she took to the Alt Miss Ireland catwalk, with some encouragement from friends and patrons of the Small Talk. When she was crowned, the drama school bosses were not best pleased but that’s the way Lynch is: rules are there to be twisted into something more interesting. And in those halcyon days – "my drugs and drink period", she says and laughs uproariously so I’m not sure how serious she is – anything went. Not that too much has changed since then.
A 24-carat star on the Dublin gay scene with her rhinestone creation, Busty Lycra, Katherine Lynch made her TV debut in Wanderlust, a dating show where boy meets girl via computer, etc. Did she score? "Oh your man was mad about me but I wasn’t too into him", she says and laughs. After that came Bernie Walsh, the all-singing, all-dancing, rhinestone cowgirl: a cameo role that was developed into a pilot show that crashed and burned. "I thought afterwards that no way should that show be dumped", she says. So she marched (well drove, probably) out to RTÉ to make her case for the necessity of "a female comedienne" on TV. The mandarins listened and Bernie was back: in her graffiti-scarred Hiace with a guitar full of songs and a head full of attitude.
Lynch’s lineage is illustrious. A grand-niece of the poet Patrick Kavanagh, she is also related to Kerry football legend Páidí Ó Sé and the late great Hollywood actor Gregory Peck. She even claims Che Guevara as a distant relation. "It was great when I was younger with all the lads sporting their Che T-shirts and I’d say that’s my great-great whatever", she says. So with all that and her burgeoning TV fame, has a statue been erected in her honour in her hometown? She laughs. "Ah Jeezus now", she says. "When I go down to Mohill I’m just Katherine Lynch. When it’s my round it’s my round and If I start going on they tell me that I’m not on the telly now. Nobody treats me any differently."
Her boyfriend, Ed Lewis, is a manager at the Dublin venue, Vicar Street, which is where they met. "He used to bring me to the stage …" And? "Then he brought me for a meal and then he brought me to . . ." She finishes the sentence with a laugh and a lecherous laugh. Enough said. So has she ever played Vicar Street? "What!?" she bellows in mock (I think) surprise. Oops! Last year, Lynch sold out Vicar Street 16 times, subsequently releasing a best-selling DVD (The Diddy diddy Dongo Tour, Live in Vicar Street). She also topped the TV ratings with Single Ladies. As she unreels all these statistics you see the ambition and drive that has got Katherine Lynch to where she is today.
In her quiet times, Lynch pens poetry. She has ambitions of doing straight drama and "writing something serious" and harbours a dream of a fully fledged music career. "I know you’re going to laugh but I have written some country folk songs and would like to release an album", she says. Is she mad? Is she the wildest woman in Irish comedy? "What’s the question again?" she asks, getting lost in a blizzard of queries. "Am I crazy?" She cradles her coffee as she considers a reply. "I suppose you could say that I was always full of adventure."
Watch it! 'Wagons’ Den', Tuesday, RTÉ Two
Donal O’Donoghue
