Republic of Telly’s first citizens Dermot Whelan and Jennifer Maguire recall for the RTÉ Guide’s Paddy Kehoe their best and worst TV moments – and not forgetting some of their own.
Dermot Whelan’s 5 Best TV Moments
1. Jon Stewart doing anything
The Daily Show is the finest programme ever made and its brilliance is all down to the host, Jon Stewart. Definitely someone I would look up to but would never try to emulate – he knows everything about everything. I know some things about very few things.
2. The Anything Goes “Birthday Roller”
Anything Goes was a Saturday morning kids’ show in the 80s hosted by Aonghus McAnally on RTÉ Two. Aonghus took “crazy” to a whole new dimension – he wore odd-coloured shoes. He was on the edge. On the Birthday Roller, names of children celebrating their birthday would roll by on the screen. I used to watch it, even when it wasn’t my birthday. I just liked to imagine what it would be like to see your name on it. Then, one day, it happened. I watched the names roll by and I saw my friend’s name, “Morgan Downey, Ballysheedy.” I nearly cried with the excitement. Just as well my name didn’t appear. I would have exploded.
3. RTÉ 2 Becomes Network 2
In Limerick in the ‘80s, we didn’t have a lot to excite us in the world of television. We had two channels. But one day, RTÉ 2 changed. It became Network 2. Unbelievable - it had new graphics and colours and amazing new shows like Rapid Roulette with Maxi and Know Your Sport with Jimmy Magee. All made on a budget of a Millennium 50p and a pack of Rancheros. We didn’t get out much.
4. Anne Doyle’s coughing fit.
Years ago, Anne Doyle was doing the late RTÉ news, about 11.30pm. She got about two sentences in before she started coughing. She coughed and spluttered for the entire length of the news. She soldiered on, but the best part was she kept trying to drink water to ease the cough but the mike on her lapel picked up all her swallowing and choking noises and amplified them. For a small boy, the whole thing was hugely entertaining.
5. Doing The Panel and The Republic of Telly
My first appearance on The Panel was nerve-racking but incredibly enjoyable. I remember being too nervous to approach comedian Colin Murphy (regular panellist and occasional host on The Panel) in a nightclub because I was such a fan. Next thing, I’m on the telly with him cracking jokes. It’s unbelievable. Better than the Birthday Roller - in your face, “Morgan Downey, Ballysheedy!”
Dermot’s 5 Worst TV Moments
1. When presenters reveal the wrong winner
It’s every presenter’s worst nightmare. “And the winner is....Stuart! Yay! Eh...no, sorry, it’s actually Paul...” Derek Mooney did it on Fame: The Musical and it happened again recently on Australia’s Next Top Model. You have to feel sorry for them because you know it was a producer who gave them the wrong info in their ear.
2. That show The Cube on TV3.
Simply put – what?
3. My own cringiest TV moment
I auditioned for a presenter’s job in RTÉ about 15 years ago. I was really nervous and, while waiting in reception, I spilled some water on the floor and tried to cover it over with my foot. When the producer came out to me, she saw the puddle under my foot and asked me if I was okay? She thought I weed my pants. The audition didn’t go well after that.
4. Michelle Heaton’s Fall on The Apprentice
She came. She saw. She fell over a Ford Fiesta. I watch it on YouTube when I’m feeling low...
5. The Fall of Daytime TV
Bring back Thelma Mansfield and Derek Davis. Their audiences may have been filled with pensioners but at least their show made sense. On Really TV the other day there was a show called “I Think We’re Obsessed Now.” The tagline for the show read – “A hermaphrodite, an Aspergers sufferer, and convicted stalker, share their obsessive love for 80s pop sensation, Tiffany.” What? Why? Thelma come back! That Really channel should add a question mark to their name – Really?
Jennifer Maguire’s Best TV Moments
1. Jason and Kylie marry in Neighbours
I will never forget it, I think everyone in the household watched it and it was so tacky and 80's, it was magic.
2. When Brian Dowling won Ultimate Big Brother
I have been in a show with Brian - Fáilte Towers - and he is one of the funniest people I have ever met. His little face was priceless when he won. A great representative for the country, he did us proud.
3. Me Calling Michael O'Leary a p**** on the Republic Of Telly
I did feel a sense of satisfaction calling him what everyone who has ever paid extra baggage wanted to call him. He is so smug I reckon it definitely made him stop in his tracks and talk about me over his tea!
4. One Night Stand (forthcoming RTÉ show, hosted by Jennifer)
Ok, so, it hasn’t aired yet, but we have just shot the ‘Gay in Bray’ episode. It was the funniest thing ever and I met some great characters it’s definitely gonna be ground breaking and a TV classic for sure.
Jennifer’s Worst TV moments
1. X Factor
The day Jedward stood on the stage for the first time. I just don’t get them at all.
2. The Apprentice
"Get out of the car” episode. Please don’t tell me this is the best we have to offer.
3. MTV awards
When Britney was on stage wishing Michael Jackson a happy birthday and he thought he won an award? I wanted to die it was so embarrassing for him.
Paddy Kehoe
