Louis Walsh? He’s having a laugh. Sitting in the tea rooms of the Four Seasons Hotel in Ballsbridge, the Irish X Factor judge and all-round Superman of pop music is recalling how a certain Irish celeb got "hijacked" by a certain journalist on a certain TV show; insisting that a certain former Minister resembles Podge and Rodge; and how certain gravy train establishments in Ireland are now, whisper it, "losing millions".
Louis likes to laugh. It’s a good sign. It’s an Irish trait that we tend to doubt those who are ultra-serious about life and especially about the things they do, while admiring anyone who’s a bit more self-effacing and sees the humour in the human condition. Louis admits: "I’m lucky", and you know he means it.
Then the cameras roll and we get down to the serious business of discussing 'The X Factor', which started its seventh run on Saturday (TV3 & UTV). The biggest show on British TV these days, last year it also had the telly Richter scale rocking in Ireland as we lapped up the adventures of Jedward. More on the Grimes twins later, as we’re eager to learn why Louis Walsh – the man behind some of the biggest pop acts of modern times – took the plunge and became a major TV star in his own right.
"I never wanted to be on TV", he insists between sips of coffee. "I never, ever, ever, thought I’d be on TV. I never planned it. I never wanted it.” Is he protesting too much? Nah, he just loves to talk. I’m the one sipping coffee, while Louis recalls his introduction to primetime TV.
"I got this phonecall about eight years ago from ITV about doing this show called Popstars: the Rivals. I didn’t want to do it. I’m going to be honest with you", he laughs. "Then they offered me all this money. It’s like, ‘What? Yes!’ I said, ‘Yes, I’ll do it, of course’. I did the show with Pete Waterman and Geri Halliwell, and I got the girls and they were Girls Aloud, and the rest – they’ve had an amazing career."
But it was when Louis met Simon that things really took off for the Kiltimagh impresario. "I brought Westlife to Simon Cowell, and I got to know him really well. So then he came down to Popstars: the Rivals – he was doing Pop Idol at the time – and he told me he was doing this new show called X Factor. He offered me the job and now we’re on our seventh season."
Louis’ explanation for the show’s success is quite straightforward: "It’s like car crash TV", he feels. "It’s a reality show, it’s a fashion show, it’s everything. And it’s a talent show as well, at the end of the day", he adds, grinning broadly. "Everybody watches it." As well as producing a winner (who usually goes on to claim the British number one just days later), 'The X Factor' also has the habit of producing other acts who catch viewers’ eyes or win their hearts.
"We’d Olly Murs last year, Diana Vickers the year before", Louis notes. "You don’t have to win the show to be successful. It’s a platform for all kinds of talent – if you’ve got talent. They’re all working from it from last year."
Then there are the Grimes twins, Jedward to us mere mortals. Love them or hate them, plenty of people fall into either category, and the simple rule is that when you’re not being ignored you can always be successful in showbiz.
"Jedward are millionaires", Louis declares, arms aloft and mouth wide open. "Who would’ve thought? Nobody. Not even me, initially. But they are millionaires. Because they took a chance. Nobody made them; they wanted to do it. They arrived with their hair, they are what they are. They’ve got something."
Jedward’s secret is a simple one, according to Louis. "They are what they are, y’know? They’re not Lennon and McCartney; they’re not Simon and Garfunkel – they’re Jedward."
He sees them stretching their designated 15 minutes of stardom way beyond this year’s Christmas panto at Dublin’s Olympia. "I see their future as doing modelling and in television, but they want to be pop-stars. They’re almost like the people who watch the show. They’re fans themselves, and they’re obsessed with Britney Spears, the Jonas Brothers and all that. They’re living it and they’re loving it, and they want to spend all their time with their fans. They genuinely love their fans – that’s the good thing about them."
The good thing about Louis Walsh is that, after being involved in showbusiness for three decades and enjoying unprecedented success, he retains an impressive enthusiasm and energy that’s effortlessly infectious. "I love what I do", he grins, looking – well – like someone in love. And he also redefines the word ‘busy’ while discussing his next few moves.
"I’m not that busy; I’m living in Dublin", he says, in a nonchalant manner that suggests daily lie-ins, languorous strolls to the corner shop for teabags and afternoons watching telly in his PJs. "I’m working on Westlife’s new album at the moment. I’m doing 'X Factor' and working on Westlife. I’ve got a new girl band called Wonderland. They’re going to be launched next year on Mercury Records. They’re going to be great. They’re four Irish girls and Jody, who’s married to Kian in Westlife. Then I’ve got the Jedward album and the tour – but that’s all selling. They just work, work, work."
They didn’t pick it up off the stones, you know.
John Byrne
