Andrew Cowles has revealed he is comforted to know that his late husband Stephen Gately was happy on the last day of his life.
Gately died at the age of 33 last October while on holiday in Majorca.
In a candid interview, Cowles told The Mirror: "I do get some comfort from knowing how happy he was that day.
"The night he died, we'd had such a good time, a lovely evening in our favourite restaurant. He was the most happy and confident he'd been in his life, and he'd just finished his book.
"He died under my arm, curled up on the sofa and it was a few good hours before I realised he wasn’t sleeping."
"We know from the pathologist's report that Stephen died sleeping with me on the sofa. I know that my boy fell asleep under my arm, his heart stopped, he didn't feel any pain," he added.
Cowles isstruggling to come to terms with the death of Stephen and often finds himself getting angry over his death.
"I have found myself cussing him, just a few times, for leaving me, because he didn't have a choice. I’m so sorry. I miss him."
"He made me email him a contract promising to be there for ever, and that I'd love him when he got fat, old and lost his hair.
"And I knew I would be, that's the silly thing. I could picture us in the bay in Majorca sat having coffee, two podgy, pasty grey-haired chaps and I knew I'd still love him because I loved his soul."
