Nicole Kidman has revealed how she lost a baby in the early years of her marriage to Tom Cruise.
The Hollywood star said the "traumatic" miscarriage happened when she was only 23, and that she and Cruise decided to adopt less than two years later.
Kidman, 40, told Vanity Fair magazine she "had no regrets" about the 10-year marriage, which ended in divorce in 2001. She said: "From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies. And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic.
"And that's when it came that we would adopt Bella. There's a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told."
Cruise and Kidman have two adopted children, Bella, now 14, and Connor, 12.
She said: "My mother has an adopted sister, so it's been part of our family, and I knew it would probably play out somewhere in mine. I didn't think it would happen so early but it did."
Kidman said she was desperate to have a baby with country music star Keith Urban, who she married last year.
She said: "I'm yearning to have one. I think it would be very sad if I wasn't able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly."
The actress has previously spoken about how she discovered she was pregnant with Cruise's baby soon after he filed for divorce, but she miscarried shortly afterwards.
Kidman also revealed she was engaged to another man before her marriage to Urban, sparking speculation it could have been pop star Lenny Kravitz or US tycoon Steve Bing, both of whom she previously dated. She added: "But it just wasn't right. I wasn't ready. We weren't ready."
She said on marrying Cruise her agents told her, "'Once you become Mrs Tom Cruise, you do know your career is going to die. You're going to absolutely shoot yourself in the foot'.
"I was appalled. I was like, 'Hello? I'm in love, and I don't care if it's shooting myself in the foot. I'd much rather be married and have a family.'
"I just saw a guy who rides around on a motorbike and happens to be the biggest movie star in the world. But I was in love with him, which is why I think we lasted 11-and-a-half years together. I have no regrets in that relationship."
The Golden Compass star revealed how she found the life of a Hollywood actress a lonely one, saying after she won her Oscar in 2003 for The Hours "it felt lonely and big". She said: "You're in a hotel and you're like, OK, well, I'm sitting in this big suite with an Oscar, and I still don't have a life. What is wrong with me? It hit home that I needed to get a life.
"Who do I jump on the bed with, and celebrate with, and order pancakes with? That was painful, not having that person to share it with."
Kidman said on what brought together her and Urban: "I think we were two lonely people. I would probably say that two very lonely people managed to meet at a time when they could open themselves to each other. We were a mixture of frightened and brave."
She said her husband's stay in rehab over his battle with alcohol "was painful, deeply painful" and added: "I've learned an enormous amount having a relationship with someone who is in recovery.
I'm more than willing to walk it with him. The two of us are very committed to our relationship. It was just another twist in my life. I hope that gives some people some hope who may be in the same place."
Of religion, the Australian actress added: "Obviously my children are scientologists, my ex-husband is a scientologist. I don't want to be the one discussing scientology."
She said: "I still abide by the Ten Commandments."
Cruise is now married to Dawson's Creek star Katie Holmes, who gave birth to their first child, daughter Suri, in April last year.
The interview appears in the October issue of Vanity Fair, out on Friday.
