How to spot a pathological liar

Since the dawn of time, lying has been perceived as the ultimate character flaw, writes Anna Joyce.

In the Bible, Eve is deceived by the serpent and eats God's forbidden fruit. The act of lying is associated with the dissolution of paradise, and the creation of avoidable anguish. The foundation of polite society is based on the principle that 9 times out of 10 someone is being truthful. Can you imagine a world where honesty wasn’t the assumed position? How would businesses, medicine or even romantic relationships function?

When I say liar you think: Richard Nixon, Elizabeth Holmes, George Santos. Or if you’re a lover of a good scammer narrative then perhaps Samantha Azzopardi, the subject of RTE Documentary on One’s latest hit podcast Finding Samantha.

But these are prolific liars, Azzopardi held over 100 aliases and conned governments out of hundreds of thousands of euros. But you don’t need to be a criminal mastermind or corporate bigwig to have a problem with the truth. We’ve all had that one friend, co-worker or ex who always seemed to have the most unbelievable of stories.

When it comes to the subject of lying, few people are as qualified as psychologists Dr. Drew A. Curtis, Angelo State University and Dr. Christian L. Hart, Texas Woman's University. In their book: Pathological Lying: Theory, Research, and Practice they argue that most pathological liars are not malicious evildoers, but people suffering as a result of their compulsion, who need help.

But what causes people to lie compulsively and is it their fault? We asked these authorities on pathological lying to fill in the blanks. "One of my favourite quotes is 'it’s not that you’ve lied to me, but that I can no longer trust you" mused Dr Curtis.

Most of us think a few episodes of Criminal Minds make us expert profilers who can smell deception from a mile off. Are they fidgeting with their hands? How high-pitched is their voice? Are they blinking a little too much? Unfortunately, we likely know squat. According to Dr Hart "Researchers have focused on looking at the tells of liars for decades, and the conclusion that they’ve eventually kind of narrowed in on is that there is no Pinocchio's nose. There are no consistent tells that reveal when someones lying vs telling the truth". Lest we forget that serial killer Ted Bundy managed to dupe former police officer turned crime reporter Ann Rule. So the next time you think you’re impervious to all lies, ask yourself are you better than the mother of true crime?

When people are shown recordings of people lying and telling the truth and then asked to discern who’s being honest or deceitful they perform at "chance levels". In essence, you might as well flip a coin or make a random guess. As it turns out people are really convincing liars. So to catch a liar you need to catch them in a lie. They conducted a study a few years ago where they asked people in the US if they had experiences with someone they thought was a pathological liar. Over 90% said yes. But when asked how they knew the person was not telling the truth most reported having proof. However, the second most common response was that the lie was so outrageous it couldn’t be believed.

Dr Hart mentioned a former student who became infamous on campus for being a liar. The individual claimed to be unable to walk and got a wheelchair, only to be later spotted walking across campus. "That person that I’m thinking of lied every single time I saw them. To the point where my reaction to the person was as if they were a specimen in a museum or a zoo or something, where their lying was so bizarre it was really captivating. But it was also kind of sad wondering what was compelling this person to be so dishonest."

But are liars born or made? "When we looked at it from a genetic perspective there’s pretty solid evidence that dishonesty is a heritable trait meaning that if one's biological parents tend to be dishonest even if the offspring is reared in a completely different house, they’re more likely to be dishonest as well." Dr Hart qualified this by stating environmental factors are crucial, for instance, people who are reared in a home with siblings tend to lie more. The genes and the environment play off each other: "You know if you have a biological makeup where perhaps you’re prone to dishonesty you’re probably also going to gravitate toward environmental situations where that might play out as well."

According to these experts, lying emerges in children around the ages of 2 and 3, but dishonesty goes into overdrive when we hit the late teens. "Typically adolescents across the lifespan tend to lie more than other groups" said Dr Curtis. Dr Hart said his thoughts on this matter have evolved. While he originally theorized that teens lie a lot "because they’re living under this oppressive regime" of parental control, now he thinks it’s more about status and where they are in the social pecking order. "When we look at who teenagers lie to they actually lie more to their friends, than anyone else which is kind of in line with that hypothesis." In adulthood we tend to become more honest, but for some, that trajectory doesn’t taper off, instead, it continues to spike. The big question for academics like Dr Curtis and Dr Hart is why?

Nowadays, we turn prolific liars into cultural icons, and major celebrities with breakout Netflix documentaries, viral memes and the subjects of countless articles. But if lying is considered one of the most heinous traits throughout history then why are we so obsessed with liars? "It has to do with what people are concerned about or terrified of, and so when we know that a threat exists in the world and we don’t fully understand that threat," said Dr Hart. "It tends to draw our attention so people are captivated by serial killers for that same reason." We know that there are con artists and prolific liars out in the world and we don’t want to fall victim to them. We also don’t fully understand it, so we want to find out more.

In 2010, researchers at Michigan State University asked 1,000 adults to report the number of lies they told in 24 hours. While 60% of subjects reported telling no lies at all, nearly half of all reported lies were told by 5% of subjects. Translation: most lies are told by a handful of prolific liars. So, while most of us live in fear of meeting the next Tinder Swindler on hinge, the reality is despite what the political landscape and pop culture tells us, the majority of lies told each day are by a small proportion of the population.

Prolific liars tell excessive amounts of lies and or big lies, but that doesn’t mean they are pathological liars. The distinction, according to Dr Curtis, is whether those behaviours impair one’s functioning and cause marked distress. "Pathological liars are where the lies really cause problems in their living for themselves, typically in relationship with others". Basically, all pathological liars are prolific liars, but not all prolific liars are pathological. "Maybe a car salesman who is a prolific liar, the lies might serve their profession well and get them paid and not really causing problems in their living".

Pathological liars tend to see the usefulness in lying that most people wouldn’t see, explained Dr Hart. In other words, there's no such thing as a pointless lie. There is always some motivating factor, even if it’s hidden from the average observer. "You know people lie because when they say outrageous things, people listen to them, people pay attention, and there might be some incorrect belief they hold that that’s attention that’s ultimately going to benefit them in some way," explained Dr Hart.

In their experience interviewing people about pathological lying, most mentioned people like coworkers, not intimate relationships. It’s not surprising that most people don't confront others about their lies. They just tolerate them. "Usually when the confrontation comes is when the lying is starting to affect me in some material way," said Dr Hart".

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Finding Samantha - listen to the first episode

When you step up to the plate and confront a liar is there a good way to go about it? Compassion and understanding are key. "One of the things you want to do is praise when people are honest and then ignore the lies if you can; differential reinforcement of behaviour" said, Dr Curtis. He added that in certain instances you have to call out a lie, but for the most part, attention should be given to positive reinforcement.

Much to their frustration, the scientific community has made little effort to understand pathological liars. They posit that if pathological lying were recognised as a diagnostic entity it would promote scientific intervention and improve treatment options. Dr Hart mentioned a programme in Virginia where a psychologist focuses on getting people to be more honest to great success. "And what people find, and there’s a tremendous amount of research to back this up, is that being honest makes people happier, makes their lives more satisfying," he said. "It makes them more connected and less lonely, and so just with that exposure to being honest when they would normally have been dishonest, people gradually learn this is a great way to be, and so eventually can cultivate a more honest style of social interactions".

Get new episodes of RTÉ Documentary on One’s Finding Samantha every Tuesday. Big Liars:What Psychological Science Tells Us About Lying and How You Can Avoid Being Duped by Dr Christian L. Hart, and Dr Drew A. Curtis, PhD hits shelves in August.