Now available for the first time in Ireland, more than half a century after it was written, Out of the Ordinary (published by Lilliput Press) is the memoir of Michael Dillon/Lobzang Jivaka (1915–62), the Anglo-Irish doctor and Buddhist monastic novice chiefly known to scholars of sex, gender, and sexuality for his pioneering transition from female to male between 1939 and 1949, and for his groundbreaking 1946 book Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology. Here at last is Dillon/Jivaka's extraordinary life story, told in his own words.
In the author's own Introduction, written in 1962 and extracted below, he speaks of his 'outing' by the press, losing his career at sea, and path to becoming a monk.
If men and women had a Right Sense of Values there would never have been any need for this book to have been written and published – but then if the world had a Right Sense of Values it would not be in the mess it is today.
One day in March of 1958 when I was serving as surgeon on board the cargo-passenger ship, City of Bath, and we were lying in Baltimore, loading for India, I went down to my surgery as usual before breakfast to attend to any of the crew who might be sick. A steward put his head in and gave me a cable. It read: 'Do you intend to claim the title since your change-over? Kindly cable Daily Express.’
At that moment my heart stood still. The secret that had been so well kept for fifteen years had at last leaked out, that I had been among the unfortunates who ‘change their sex’ [he adds by hand: ‘and in addition was heir to a title’]. Before I had recovered from the shock the company agent came in and told me there were two reporters from the Baltimore Sun waiting in his office on the wharf and they wanted to see me. Putting the cable in the waste-paper basket and lighting my pipe to steady myself, I fetched my cap and went ashore. There was nothing that could be done to stave off the inevitable.
The rest of the story can be read in these pages. But by what sense of values did a newspaper editor and reporter think that five minutes’ light reading by the public justified such an assault on a doctor’s career? Or did they stop to think at all? When they realized the secret was an old one, might they not have considered that publicity was unsought and, having found I was a doctor, although they did not know at first where practising, might they not have gauged that destructive impact on his job such an unnecessary denouncement would be? And finally, when they had discovered I was in the Merchant Navy, surely some feeling of what life on a ship would be like under such circumstances might have been expected from them in virtue of their calling themselves human?
My career at sea would have been ended anyhow by this thoughtless act. The fact that circumstances quite apart from these were leading me on to a new life in any case, of which they knew nothing, makes no difference to the inhumanity of the deed. But, in fact, for many years the Search for Truth had also dogged me and release from the ship led me to take it up more thoroughly than heretofore and a little before I had intended to leave the sea to do so.
Was it small wonder that these joint effects eventually became the cause of my renouncing the world with its mistaken set of values, and becoming a monk? At the time of writing this nineteen years have passed since I was reregistered with the State and all my former troubles were ended by the good offices of one enlightened man with the courage of his convictions and the skill to carry them out. The conquest of the Body proved relatively easy. But the conquest of the Mind is a never-ending struggle and it still goes on. Yet it is the sole purpose of our life on Earth. Not the pursuit of happiness or pleasure, not to leave our offspring socially better off than we were, nor yet to amass money or power nor take our evil to other planets [added by hand: ‘under the guise of Progress’]. But to evolve spiritually, no more, no less.
All must run in the race of Life but not all start from scratch. Some are heavily handicapped, some lightly, some are forward of the starting line at birth. But all must still run as best they can. One handicapped runner plods along, slowly catching up a little on the rest and then another runner sees him and, for the sake of applause, trips him up. He falls flat on his face in the mud and the others pass him by with grins and jeers, although here and there a sympathetic glance is thrown. He picks himself up, scrapes the mud off his face so that he can see where he is going and again starts off determinedly, and once more he slowly gains ground. As he joins the main body of runners another cuts across and quite deliberately sends him flying again, for fear he may pull ahead.
Will he lie there, this time, and give up the unequal struggle? No! For the third time he rises and begins to run. By now more of the competitors realize what is going on and public opinion is [crossed out: ‘turning against the saboteurs’; added: ‘swinging’]. The Goal lies ahead. He will either reach it or die in the attempt, but he will never give in.
This book is the expression of that determination, and in its attempt to give a better understanding to people it has a message, for with understanding comes an improved sense of values, and Right Viewpoint is the first step on the Path to emancipation from the fetters of materialism and all that is driving man insanely to his own destruction.
Out of the Ordinary by Michael Dillon/Lobzang Jivaka (published by Lilliput Press) is out now.
