Am I cocooning or self-isolating? In today's climate both words mean the same thing, but it’s amazing the different picture each word paints in our subconscious...
In her remarkable new book, published by O'Brien Press, beloved author Alice Taylor explores wellbeing, what community now means and so many other topics thrown into sharp relief by the arrival of COVID19.
Read an extract from A Cocoon with A View below...
Home Alone
Am I cocooning or self-isolating? In today's climate both words mean the same thing, but it’s amazing the different picture each word paints in our subconscious. Isolation brings to mind punishment by solitary confinement, whereas cocooning paints a picture of self-caring and nurturing. Cocooning comes from the natural world of butterflies and beehives, and the dictionary defines it as to 'envelop in a protective and comforting way’. Wouldn’t that terminology make anyone feel better! So, maybe we who are advised to do so, may choose to think of cocooning instead of isolating. Perception is everything! In the brood chamber of the beehive the baby bees are cocooned until they are able to fly and fend for themselves. The caterpillars self-cocoon until they are ready to fly high as butterflies. But the difference between us and the baby bees and butterflies is that cocooning is their natural habitat, preparing them for progression into the wider world, whereas we who were flying high now have to go into reverse and fly backwards. Can we butterflies be transformed into contented caterpillars? Not an easy process, but for the moment it’s ‘One Day at a Time.’
We have been parachuted into a scary new place and we are all endeavouring not to be overwhelmed. But if we over-think things, that is exactly what will happen. Our thoughts could so easily overwhelm us. The coronavirus may attack our bodies, but if we let it invade our minds too it could destroy our sense of wellbeing. So we are involved in two battles: the physical and the mental.
Now is a very good time to be living on a farm, as out there is the calmness and healing of nature and the animal world. A few years ago a young farmer who was on the grief road after the death of his wonderful wife told me that the animals helped him to endure and survive those brutal first days, weeks and months of bereavement. Animals and nature can stoically absorb our tumultuous emotions and erratic upheavals, and help to centre and calm us.
One morning recently on RTÉ Radio’s Sunday Miscellany there was a beautifully written and very wise item by a man about doing mindfulness with four donkeys. I laughed out loud listening to it. The storyteller had read Jon Kabat- Zinn, the top guru on mindfulness, so he knew what he was talking about. He told about standing with his four donkeys in a shed on a wet day looking out to sea, and how the absolute solidity and mindfulness of the donkeys was total. It was one of the most hilarious and riveting moments that I had ever listened to on radio. It made for mesmerising listening and was full of deep wisdom. Radio moments like that are golden, especially when you are cocooning.
But we are not all lucky enough to be on farms, or to have donkeys, so it is good to have a garden or to be within the prescribed access distance to a wood, river, seaside or quiet by-road, and many roads are now a lot quieter and safer for walking.
Some years ago we had a retired hospital matron working with us helping run our guest house, and whenever a crisis occurred she would simply stand back and calmly say, ‘Now, what’s to be done?’ And a plan of action came into play. She was accustomed to handling emergencies.
Having ascertained the correct amount of necessary information, I feel that an overload of unnecessary news could damage our sense of wellbeing. So, maybe better not to immerse ourselves in a constant flow of coronavirus news. Best to keep ourselves occupied, doing selected projects, as there is therapy in doing.
I was listening to Patricia Scanlan talking to Miriam O’Callaghan on radio one Sunday morning, and she suggested making your bed each morning in the cocoon before leaving your bedroom. She was passing on a bit of helpful advice that had been given to her. It was a Sunday morning so I was relaxing in bed listening to the radio. But when I got out of bed I made it immediately and have done so every morning since. Thank you, Patricia, and Miriam! A very small thing in the bigger scheme of things, but we are living at a time when little things mean a lot. It is the little things that will keep us all sane and able to cope.
And people are doing amazing things. Every day we hear of kindness and goodness coming to the fore. How great is that! Families and friends are reaching out to each other and supporting each other. We can really be wonderful when we take the time, time to talk to each other on the phone, time to email each other and even taking the time to sit down and write letters. In these stressful times how lovely it is to get a letter.
There are so many things that we plan to do ‘someday when we have the time’. Well, maybe the time is now. Kindness and generosity of spirit take thought and time, and now we have plenty of both. Maybe now is the time if there is a family rift or old grudge between people to let it dissolve and evaporate. How trivial are old sores in this new order.
Matters that were convulsing the world just a few weeks ago are now totally eradicated from our consciousness. This new reality has focused us all in one direction: survival is the name of the game, and nothing focuses the mind like our own mortality.
But what a blessing that it is not the young who are in the greatest danger and also that we are facing into the summer months. The good light of summer will lift our spirits when we can go out into the great outdoors. And while out there let’s not block our ears and eyes to its healing, soothing, calming essence. Be there!
A Cocoon With A View by Alice Taylor is out now - find out more here.
