Two-time Choice Music nominee Daithi is embarking on his most ambitious and personal musical adventure to date with the release of his new double A-Side single, featuring In My Darkest Moments (featuring The Sei) and Take The Wheel, a collaboration with Bell X1 singer Paul Noonan - below, he writes for Culture about the deeply personal inspiration for his inspired new direction.
It gets better with time…
Loss is a fascinating emotion. Most people have experienced it in one way or another. It’s that horrible, unwavering feeling in the pit of your stomach. Waking up in the morning and feeling the wave of despair roll over you. There’s moments when you feel utterly and completely alone, lost in your own personal hell; Life will never be ok again.
A year and a half ago, I experienced my first major loss in life. The end of a five year relationship brought my sense of place in the world crashing down, all of the security and comfort that comes from having a partner in life was stripped away, and I was completely unprepared for it. A huge apart of my identity had disappeared, and I was stuck in an apartment we had shared together, surrounded by constant reminders of what I was missing.
I was shocked at how strong the feelings were. Facebook would show me a post from 3 years ago hoping to stir up some harmless nostalgia, and it would take me an hour to recover. One night I had to meet her in a dimly lit car park to hand back the last of her belongings, and it played out in slow motion, like we were in a movie. I began writing melodies and chords to try and express what I was feeling. Every time I created one, I took one listen and realised I couldn’t make songs out of them. It was too much, too close to the bone.
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When people describe their sense of loss, they usually end with ‘it gets better with time’. It took me a long time to realise that this expression doesn’t actually mean the feeling fades away, it means that you learn to accept the loss as part of yourself. Over time, you overcome the emotion, and you become a stronger person in doing so. The emotion doesn’t go away, you conquer it. Recovery from loss is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It shapes you as a person, and your reinvention makes you more empathetic and more sure of yourself.
In October last year, I travelled to a farm house in the middle of rural France with a car packed with a makeshift studio. I signed out of all my social networks and spent a month alone, completely focused on creating music. I found that by mixing the chords and melodies from my lowest point of loss with production ideas and sound design from my recovery, I started to create a body of work that was more personal and honest than anything I’ve ever done. I then introduced the tracks to some of my favourite vocalists, and asked them to write lyrics based on their own experiences of loss, and how they recovered from it.
I released the first two tracks last week, featuring Paul Noonan from Bell X1, and The Sei. If you are experiencing loss at the moment, or have before, I hope these tracks speak to you, and you can relate to them in some way. Every little bit helps. Remember, it gets better with time.
The double A-Side single featuring Take The Wheel and In My Darkest Moments is out now.
