Dating and relationship coach Frances Kelleher joined Brendan O'Connor on RTÉ Radio 1 to discuss the dating trend of 'cobwebbing' and why your life might need a spring clean. Listen back above.
Dating in the modern world should come with a dictionary. From ghosting and bread-crumbing to cloaking and soft launching, there is an entire language that comes with swiping for your soulmate.
One term you may not have heard of is 'cobwebbing', which Frances describes as "the dusting off of the cobwebs or the old flames that have been in your life, the ex-partners, anybody that has been in your life romantically. Out with the old and in with the new."
The dating coach insists that staying in the past can be a real hindrance to single people as she believes that 80% of finding the right person is getting the wrong people out of the way.
"I've dealt with people that have had a person in and out of their life for over a decade and it's the biggest waste of time for you," she says, explaining that staying in touch with an ex will likely take up both emotional and mental energy.
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According to Frances, the bad behaviour of an old flame who refuses to putter out may be referred to as zombie-ing.
"They'll ghost you and then they'll come back and hang out with you for a few weeks online or in real life and then they'll go away again for like two months or a month and then back again," she explains. "They're in and out all the time, they're keeping you hanging on that hook."
While some may feel that they're keeping you around as a safety net, others may simply be chasing the dopamine hit of attention and flattery.
When you finally feel ready for some cobwebbing, though, Frances insists you should be assertive but not aggressive.
"You don't have to be agressive or uncharming or hurtful to people when you're getting your point across. You can be assertive and just say something simple like: 'This isn't working for me, I don't want to waste your time and I don't want to waste my time. I wish you all the best with everything but I think it's best if we do our own thing and go our own way."
To find out more, you can listen back to Brendan's chat with Frances on RTÉ Radio 1 above.