On paper, the debut feature of British director Ryan Andrews looks like a kick-ass detective-horror that combines the slickness of Nancy Drew's character with the twists of a cracking episode of Midsomer Murders. Unfortunately, the movie is about as appealing as Kim Kardashian's love life.

Following the death of her mother, a guilt-ridden Elfie Hopkins (Jamie Winstone) disputes the police's conclusions and insists that she was murdered. Along with her geeky and highly IT-savvy pal Dylan Parker (Barnard), Elfie takes on a Harriet the Spy role, hunting for clues to crack the case. However, when the mysterious Gammon family arrive in the dead-end hunting village of Thorntree Valley, stoner Elfie finds herself sniffing out a new detective mission.

As the small community welcomes the Gammons, who claim to be 'exotic' travel agents, Elfie finds herself becoming more preoccupied with the family's suspicious late-night activities. When a couple of locals fail to return from their lavish holidays, Elfie and her nerdy sidekick come to one disturbing conclusion: the Gammons are cannibals (this is given away in the trailer).

Despite being a youthful 27-year-old, Winstone's fresh appearance cannot disguise the fact that she is not the right actress to play the part of a rebellious teenager - her role as the grungy rocker who has a chip on her shoulder is just not credible. Even before Elfie decides to interrogate the Gammons, the character becomes highly irritating and it would be more worthwhile watching her getting stoned for the 98-minute duration than listening to her detective drivel.

Aneurin Barnard does well as the lovesick best-friend but the poor script and scatty dialogue let him down. At first glance, Mr Gammon (Evans) and his oddball kids (Keyworth, Payne) spark interest, but their storylines become predictable. Ray Winstone's cameo as the local butcher is beyond cringey.

The movie fails to deliver any menacing or suspense-filled moments, and when it comes to the design department, it is clear that funds were an issue. The blood could pass for strawberry syrup, while the mangled body parts look like they came straight from a school's props department. Apart from the slightly gory finger munching and decapitation scene, there's nothing for horror fans.

By the time this film is over, you'll wish that the Gammons had chewed you up and spat you back out!

Laura Delaney