Directed by Kevin Donovan starring Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jason Isaacs.

"The name's Tong, Jimmy Tong." It may star Jackie Chan, but you're not likely to remember much else about this woeful mish-mash of Bond meets Inspector Gadget. Chan plays the hapless Jimmy, a clumsy New York cabbie who ends up with a prime gig as chauffeur to ultra suave secret agent Clark Devlin (Isaacs).

On the trail of a bad guy who wants to corner the world's water market, Devlin is seriously injured during a botched hit, leaving Jimmy with a dilemma about telling his boss' bosses or just taking his place. He opts for the latter, swapping his driver's suit for the Tactical Uniform Experiment (TUX) – a mechanised tuxedo which gives Jimmy all the moves he never had in his day job.

When a mic is in shot repeatedly during a film it screams sloppiness but it's just one of the messes ruining this outfit. The plot is poorly set up, the villain is faceless and the scenes are just stitched together by the suit.

Chan's Hollywood career has provided him with some decent sidekicks to spark off - namely Chris Tucker and Owen Wilson - here he gets Jennifer Love Hewitt and the effect is so antiseptic you wonder why he didn't go solo. Hewitt's turn in 'Heartbreakers' showed comedy wasn't beyond her but there's no chemistry or double act dynamic between herself and Chan - or a good gag either. And for a movie aimed at kids, there isn't even a decent action sequence to keep their mind off that mic.

This is Jackie Pants not Jackie Chan.

Harry Guerin