John B Keane on how it all went horribly wrong for a lonely Kerry bachelor who took out a personal ad in a newspaper.

The Listowel writer and publican John B Keane thought he was doing a bachelor friend a good turn.  His friend was looking for a wife, so at his request, John B placed a personal advertisement in the Limerick Leader newspaper for him. Unfortunately this resulted in a bogus reply, but, 

Our friend being a very innocent man, decided to act upon it.

The address of the lady in question was in Limerick city, so John B’s friend made his way there, hiring a taxi for the occasion.  When he arrived at the property, which was extensive, and which had an equally impressive garden,

Something told him at the time that all wasn’t well, but he believed in miracles, and a miracle was his only hope of getting married.

The reaction from the lady of the house was not what he had expected either, 

She landed back, after about five minutes, with a big blackthorn stick in her hand, and she let him have it. Our friend was no fool, he knew he wasn’t welcome, so he decided to quit the scene as fast as he could.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, he was also chased by a large dog, 

And only the taxi driver having the foresight to have the car door open, his whole trousers and parts of his anatomy would be gone.

This episode of ‘Newsbeat’ was broadcast on 13 May 1968.